Jessica - is there someone close to you whom you can delegate some of those phone calls to? I know you want to be able to control and make decisions..but some of the calls that need to be made can be delegated to others, someone you trust, to take some of the burden off of you while you grieve and cope.
I'm glad your friend is taking you out to be away, without the family - you'll need that to help deal.
Your MIL is coping as she knows how. Just ignore her. Honestly..the drama isn't worth your frustration..just let her deal. It is about her, too, and while she may be trying to milk it, she is hurting, too. Just find places to be where she's not when you can.
I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this now. ((HUGS))