aggiefamily
New member
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
prayers needed badly
- Thread starter jessica31876
- Start date
marlathrall
New member
I can't imagine what your are going through. My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to your family.
taracotta7
New member
I agree with all the suggestions above.....I am sure you son will be happy with just about anything as long as you remember it is his bday and cut out a little time for him. He is old enough that he understands all the craziness going on around him. I am sure he won't be too hard on you. I am sure doing something "normal" like going to a movie or lunch together will be good for the both of you. It will just give you a little space to breath a little and refresh yourself before going back to hospital, decisions, stress, ect. 
Praying for you while you are in this planning stage and dealing with MIL. I know it is best to walk away and not say anything but I think if I was in your shoes I would have a REALLY hard time doing the "right" thing. Hang in there! ((HUG))
Praying for you while you are in this planning stage and dealing with MIL. I know it is best to walk away and not say anything but I think if I was in your shoes I would have a REALLY hard time doing the "right" thing. Hang in there! ((HUG))
AmyG
New member
Thanks for keeping us updated and I'm still praying for you and your husband.
Wow, MIL is out of line. Way out of line. I wish someone would tell her to back off and let you do what you need to and if you need help you will ask. I'm so sorry she is making what is sure to be the most stressful time ever worse. :hugs:
Wow, MIL is out of line. Way out of line. I wish someone would tell her to back off and let you do what you need to and if you need help you will ask. I'm so sorry she is making what is sure to be the most stressful time ever worse. :hugs:
mummytothree
New member
Big huge hugs Jessica!! First off know that you and your whole family are still in my prayers!!! I think of you guys often and wonder how you all are coping!!! I wanted to suggest you ask him what he wants....he may want to keep it low key....he may want to not celebrate at all. My brother was killed last year the day before my birthday and here was the way I was feeling...now remember I am a lot older and the feelings of a woman turning 37 might be different then the feelings of a boy turning 14....but this was just my experience.
I didn't want anyone making a fuss about my birthday...I didn't want presents...I didn't want cake...I didn't even want people telling me "happy birthday". I was just so mad and so pissed off!! At one point I got hysterical when one of the kid's handed me a homemade birthday card!! :crying: I didn't want my family to have to muster up joy and happiness when all we all wanted to do was cry and curse and kick something and cry some more!!! I also didn't want to disappoint my mom and dad (or hurt their feelings) when I just couldn't be happy about a "gift". It also didn't help that that brother's birthday was "suppose" to be happening just 9 days later, I even felt guilty because I got to turn another year older and he never ever would (I totally know now that is stupid/irrational...but when you are in the throws of grief you think a lot of stupid/irrational things!!!) .
Again....it maybe totally different for someone younger or even male vs female...but I think that you should definitely ask him what he wants before planning something!
Oh and this year was better....still sad...still heart wrenching...but better. :hugs:
I didn't want anyone making a fuss about my birthday...I didn't want presents...I didn't want cake...I didn't even want people telling me "happy birthday". I was just so mad and so pissed off!! At one point I got hysterical when one of the kid's handed me a homemade birthday card!! :crying: I didn't want my family to have to muster up joy and happiness when all we all wanted to do was cry and curse and kick something and cry some more!!! I also didn't want to disappoint my mom and dad (or hurt their feelings) when I just couldn't be happy about a "gift". It also didn't help that that brother's birthday was "suppose" to be happening just 9 days later, I even felt guilty because I got to turn another year older and he never ever would (I totally know now that is stupid/irrational...but when you are in the throws of grief you think a lot of stupid/irrational things!!!) .
Again....it maybe totally different for someone younger or even male vs female...but I think that you should definitely ask him what he wants before planning something!
Oh and this year was better....still sad...still heart wrenching...but better. :hugs:
color of my heart
New member
just coming in to give {{{hugs}}}
still thinking of you and your family <3
still thinking of you and your family <3
Paula
New member
Jessica, I continue to pray for your hubby and will keep doing so until he comes home with you!
As for the funeral, you plan what you want to honor Matthew. He is your son and you know him better than anyone. Don't let your MIL railroad you into doing something you don't want to.
As for Nickolas, pamper him like nothing else on his birthday. Do whatever he wants to do. I think the movies is a great idea. He'll always understand the circumstances behind his 14th birthday and if you make it an awesome day despite those circumstances, he will remember a mother that bent over backwards to make his day special even with all the stress that you've been carrying during this time.
I'm praying for you and hoping that amid all this, you can find some peace.
As for the funeral, you plan what you want to honor Matthew. He is your son and you know him better than anyone. Don't let your MIL railroad you into doing something you don't want to.
As for Nickolas, pamper him like nothing else on his birthday. Do whatever he wants to do. I think the movies is a great idea. He'll always understand the circumstances behind his 14th birthday and if you make it an awesome day despite those circumstances, he will remember a mother that bent over backwards to make his day special even with all the stress that you've been carrying during this time.
I'm praying for you and hoping that amid all this, you can find some peace.
Lukasmummy
New member
I'm so very sorry for your loss ((hugs)) hugs Crystal xx
AmberK
New member
Im so sorry that your MIL is tryign to take over arrangements for the funeral. I remember when we were making funeral arrangements for my son even though I was pretty much numb the entire time, I wanted to do it for him because he was *MY* son. If anybody had tried to take over that I would have gone postal on them.
Put your foot down with her and don't worry if people get mad at you for it. He is YOUR son and you as his mother have the right to do what is best for him.
Im also sorry your husband had a bad day yesterday. I know when people are in critical condition they always say "1 step forward, 2 steps back". Its so hard to get your hopes up with the small improvements just to have in the back of your mind that they are not out of the woods yet. But I have faith that your husband is strong and will pull through this.
Stay strong Jessica. I know that my experience with losing my son when he was 3 days old is nothing compared to losing a son that you had for 17 years. But I can empathize with you as a grieving mother and Im so sorry that you are having to endure this.
Love and hugs to you.
Put your foot down with her and don't worry if people get mad at you for it. He is YOUR son and you as his mother have the right to do what is best for him.
Im also sorry your husband had a bad day yesterday. I know when people are in critical condition they always say "1 step forward, 2 steps back". Its so hard to get your hopes up with the small improvements just to have in the back of your mind that they are not out of the woods yet. But I have faith that your husband is strong and will pull through this.
Stay strong Jessica. I know that my experience with losing my son when he was 3 days old is nothing compared to losing a son that you had for 17 years. But I can empathize with you as a grieving mother and Im so sorry that you are having to endure this.
Love and hugs to you.
Julie Billingsley
The Ghost of Awesome Past
hugs again Jessica. I am praying for your husband's condition to improve.
As for Nick's birthday, spend some time with him and enjoying a movie might be the perfect way to "escape" for a bit too. And if nobody feels like celebrating now, give him a rain check- tell him you are celebrating his birthday in a couple weeks. Just know your love and hugs are exactly what he needs now.
Hugs to you and your family.
As for Nick's birthday, spend some time with him and enjoying a movie might be the perfect way to "escape" for a bit too. And if nobody feels like celebrating now, give him a rain check- tell him you are celebrating his birthday in a couple weeks. Just know your love and hugs are exactly what he needs now.
Hugs to you and your family.
scrap2day
Active member
Continued prayers for your husband's healing. {{{hugs}}}
Have you contacted the person you would like to do Matthew's service? Maybe you could tell this person what is happening and he can contact your MIL's pastor and deal with that for you.
As far as the birthday, maybe see what your son wants to do. Movies, lunch, cupcakes are all good ideas. He may want it low key, he may enjoy the escape to the movies, he may want to do something small now but want to do something more later.
Have you contacted the person you would like to do Matthew's service? Maybe you could tell this person what is happening and he can contact your MIL's pastor and deal with that for you.
As far as the birthday, maybe see what your son wants to do. Movies, lunch, cupcakes are all good ideas. He may want it low key, he may enjoy the escape to the movies, he may want to do something small now but want to do something more later.