MIA but not forever...(long post)

Kimberly27

Kimberly27

Active member
I hate that I have been MIA for so long! I miss scrapping a lot! Working full time and traveling have kept us busy as well as my mom. My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in December 2021. After surgery and many rounds of chemo she was told it was not working. We got the news in November she would be put on hospice. We visiting Thanksgiving weekend. She was still doing really well. She lives alone so my sister, dad and mom's best friends took turns staying with her. She was still going upstairs to bed and moving around ok. She was still doing ok but had been put into a hospital bed after we left on Thanksgiving. I got a call on Dec 12 from my sister that Mom wanted to do Christmas with us that weekend. She didn't think she would make it. So we dropped everything and flew to VA on Dec 14. We had Christmas with her on the 15th. She quickly declined after our Christmas with her. She was talking to us a little and interacting some but quickly went to sleeping all the time. As we upped the morphine she slept a lot more. I spent the night with her on New Years Day. At 4am the next morning (I was getting up every hour to give her morphine so no sleep) I noticed her breathing was slower and more rattle. I called the nurse on call and she told me she was on the way but call someone to stay with me. I called hubby and told him to get over there and waited for the nurse. She checked her out and told me everything was normal and her regular nurse would be coming in a couple of hours. Her Blood pressure had dropped as well as her breaths per minute. Once the nurse and my dad had been informed that we had hours not days left I called my siblings to come up as well as her two best friends. We all spent the day with her, talking to her. I left about 5pm to get a shower and dinner and maybe some sleep since nothing had changed. We were finishing up dinner when I got the call she was gone. I went back over to the house to sit with my dad and sister while we waited for the nurse and funeral home. My heart is shattered but I know she is no longer in pain. I don't know how to operate without her yet but I know it will get easier. Funeral is tomorrow (Tuesday Jan 07) then we head back home on the 9th.
I hope to get back to scrapping and document the memories we made with her. <3 She was an amazing woman who touched a lot of lives.
 
Oh, dear Kimberly. I lost my Mama in March 2024, with her decline beginning the week before Thanksgiving 2023. She had liver cancer. What you describe is also what I experienced. The back and forth, the uncertainty, the devastation.

I had to take a good 5 months for me to grieve. I'm just now getting to the spot where I can create layouts about Mama without coming apart at the seams.

I pray for you as you go through the final actions and as you face the coming month, that you will be flooded with peace and surrounded by those who can comfort you with warm hugs and give a listening ear to your grief. I pray that you will be able to embrace all the memories, and that you can begin creating layouts as soon as possible, as I have found the process so healing, and I hope you will as well.

Sending love and hugs. Please message me if you ever feel the need to chat.
 
I'm so sorry about your mom. (((HUGS))) Scrapping about my dad after he passed is what brought me out of lurking and into the scrapbooking community. Making pages about your wonderful mother will be a sweet tribute to her.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious mama! I have gone through that journey and know how heartbreaking it is. I will be praying for you and your family.
 
I am so sorry for your loss Kimberly. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs and love.
 
Oh my sweet friend. Hugs!
I saw the message on FB about your mom.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Sending you lots of love and warm hugs. I'll be thinking of you and your family today.
 
Big big hugs to you, Kimberly! I've missed seeing you around the forum, but I am glad that you've got to spend time with your mama and made precious memories before she passed.
I'll be thinking of you and your family these days. Hugs again.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got to spend those last days with her and that everyone got to say goodbye. It's not much of a consolation but I know the happy memories together helped me get through all of my losses.
 
So sorry for your loss Kimberly. Like Cheryl, what you describe sounds so familiar to me. It is so so so hard losing your mom, especially if you were close throughout your life. I lost mine in 2015 and sometimes it still hits me hard that I can't just call her. It DOES get easier though and like you said, knowing she isn't in pain anymore is a huge relief. Tons of love coming your way. I'm so glad to know that you are comfortable enough here at SSD to share with and lean on us, even if it's in a small way.
 
Oh, Kimberly, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. I'm glad to know that you were able to spend time with her, especially Christmas. Sending prayers to you and your family. May your beautiful memories of her ease your grief. {{{hugs}}}
 
I'm sorry about the loss of your mom. Losing a parent around the holidays is especially hard. My mom passed Dec 26th and we had the funeral on Dec 31st.

Something I read recently that resonated with me (even though my mother has been gone 28 years) was this:

Grief is like a ball when you are in a room with a button. When the grief is new and fresh the ball takes up the whole room so the button is always being pushed. Over time the ball gets smaller and bounces around the room, sometimes it hits the button and other times it doesn't. Grief doesn't become less hard, it just doesn't hit the button all the time

For me the button gets pushed around the holidays although it has eased over the years, some years I feel it more.
 
Oh my Kimberley I am sending you many condolences and strength as you move through your grief.
 
Sending you lots of prayers during this difficult time. Grief affects us all different... just when you think you may be doing somewhat better, another wave hits... at least thats how it is with me. I pray your memories help you with your grief.
 
Thinking of you, Kimberly. I'm sure today was incredibly difficult, just as the last weeks have been. It's such a devastating loss. I hope your memories bring you some peace. Big hugs coming your way.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, Kimberly. I hope you are able to peace in all the wonderful memories of your mom.
 
Kimberly I am so sorry for your loss. I am happy you were able to spend so much time with her near the end. May your memories of your mom, give you peace and joy. Keeping you in my thoughts.
 
So sorry for your loss! Will be praying for you and your family! It is hard losing your mom. I made sure that even in those first few days without her, we continued to talk about her, remember her, and not "avoid" the subject of her. I wanted us to remember the good times and not feel like it was a taboo subject for anyone. I feel that helped my family to still be able to talk about her to this day without it feeling incredibly sad.

There will be hard days, some more than others. You will see or hear something that will remind you of her. My mom shows up in my dreams at times, and while others may find that weird, I actually take comfort in it. It helps me to "see" and "hear" her in ways I can't otherwise.

Give yourself time to mourn and to be there for other members of your family. Thankful she is no longer in pain.
 
My condolences, Kimberly. I will be thinking of you and your family and wishing you all the best during this most difficult time.
 
I’m sorry. I’m glad that you were able to spend your mom’s last days with her and your family. I hope you will find comfort in the memories you’ve made with your mom, and that scrapbooking them will be therapeutic for you &#55357;&#56471;
 
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