Chuck Norris(isms)

There are two hands that can beat a royal flush. Chuck Norris' right hand and Chuck Norris' left hand.

Chuck Norris doesn't laugh in the face of danger; Chuck Norris is the face of danger


Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
 
ROFL OMG I found one more....geez i wish I could take credit for it:


When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris
 
okay okay I'll stop ... I swear.... but THIS one. THIS ONE RIGHT here, is JUST for Miz Fizzy Lizzy :)

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing at her and yelling "Boo Yah!"
 
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing at her and yelling "Boo Yah!"


That is my favorite so far!!

Chuck Norris makes water sweat.
 
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't
the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the
worst mistake anyone has ever made.


and this is another one of my all-time favorites...

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
 
MizAmyLou said:
okay okay I'll stop ... I swear.... but THIS one. THIS ONE RIGHT here, is JUST for Miz Fizzy Lizzy :)

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing at her and yelling "Boo Yah!"
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all of yours had me rolling, but this one deserves a place of honor. i think i'll get it tattooed on my lower back! :wub:
 
MizAmyLou said:
okay okay I'll stop ... I swear.... but THIS one. THIS ONE RIGHT here, is JUST for Miz Fizzy Lizzy :)

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing at her and yelling "Boo Yah!"
Click to expand...

Yeah...this gets my vote for the BEST!!!!! And Lizzy gets a tat!!!!! You are gonna show us right Lizzy?????
 
I just found these Chuck Norris flair buttons, and they made me lol:
chucknorris-1.jpg

chucknorrisellen.jpg
 
maryinaz said:
Chuck Norris' patronus is himself.

(for Harry Potter fans)
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LOVE it!

My son has a book of 400 of these. I was reading most of the first lines and he could recite them from memory. He even has a Chuck t-shirt that says "after a long night of partying, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down" he is 16 and I think he loves Chuck more than me!
 
crecia27 said:
LOVE it!

My son has a book of 400 of these. I was reading most of the first lines and he could recite them from memory. He even has a Chuck t-shirt that says "after a long night of partying, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down" he is 16 and I think he loves Chuck more than me!
Click to expand...

Too funny...I just read this to DS2 and he now wants the book. Where do I get such a book anyway?
 
OK OK I have one!

Chuck Norris died years ago...the grim reaper is just afraid to tell him.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a starring contest.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

I love these they crack me up!
 
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