Chuck Norris(isms)
- Thread starter my4boys
- Start date
LenaGardner
New member
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
LenaGardner
New member
It doesn't matter. Nothing we post is going to be funnier than Fizz's.
LenaGardner
New member
I'm speaking of this:
when chuck norris invented his mojo he bottled some of it up and that's what we call an orgasm.
i just can't top that.
my4boys
New member
Good point Lena
LenaGardner
New member
okay going from memory so forgive me if I butcher it:
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
LenaGardner
New member
Chuck Norris gets two votes in the election.
amystoffel
New member
OMG I am rolling here...my brain is so fried I cant even think of any!!! Keep em coming, this is entertaining.
LenaGardner
New member
Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s shit.
iJenny
New member
Oooohhhh Lena. That one make me literally LOL. LOVE IT!!
lizzyfizzy
New member
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! that's my fave so far. it's even better than mine.
look what we started...
Tracie Stroud
Active member
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Tracie Stroud
Active member
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
lizzyfizzy
New member
LOL tracie!!!! 
lizzyfizzy
New member
if chuck norris kicks your grandma in the face you don't question it.
lizzyfizzy
New member
when chuck norris goes to a birthday party he gives his gift to himself, cause he can.
jessica31876
New member
I love these. Sometimes when I go out with my husband (has happened about four times now) someone will ask him if he knows he looks like Chuck Norris and once we were at a mall near our house and a little kid came up and asked for his autograph LMAO. His friends even call him Chuck at work.
Jennilyn
New member
Check out the thread Lizzy started a while back for more!
ETA: Chuck destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
ETA: Chuck destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
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newfiemountiewife
New member
I love this one:
Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
AH!!! I freaking love this Manda! My dh always asks me why I have my mouth open when I put on my mascara!
my4boys
New member
My DS2 just told me that one yesterday!!! Love it
junebug
New member
omg, these are funny!
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris
okay that was 3 but i couldnt' resist! lmao
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris
okay that was 3 but i couldnt' resist! lmao
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ColleenSwerb
Brodo gettin her Swerb on
I LOVE CHUCK NORRIS(isms)!!!!
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Except Chuck Norris never cries.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Except Chuck Norris never cries.
LenaGardner
New member
Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open.