why? (need strange parenting advice)

LenaGardner

LenaGardner

New member
My kids don't get yelled at very often. Parker is at a really naughty stage and has to be told "no" a lot...but Naomi has always been very sensitive and doesn't need hollered at...mostly I can just give her "the look" and she stops what she's doing.

Well lately...she and Tristan have been getting into a LOT of mischief...and when Tabatha or I catch them doing something and start to discipline them, either by putting them in the corner or raising our voice...Naomi shuts her eyes.

It's both funny and cute and weird all at the same time. I've never seen anyone do this. She's never been hit so I know she's not flinching. She just shuts her eyes, like if she shuts her eyes she WON'T be in trouble. I just don't get it. And I'm not sure if I should be worried or just ignore her reponse?
 
oh I would ignore, she's just trying to shut you out of her mind LOL If she can't see you correcting her then it's not really happening. If she continues misbehavior, I would say - Naomi, open your eyes and look at me, then correct her - but if she adjusts her behavior despite having her eyes closed, I wouldn't worry about it. kids are weird.
 
I would ignore it...my kids did this as well and I yell ALOT, but I think they figure if they don;t have eye contact with me than eventually they will just tune me out :)
 
I'd ignore as much as possible. But I agree on when you are speaking to her to correct her misbehavior she has to open her eyes and look at you. That's a huge part of getting the message into their brains - look at me, listen to what I'm saying, it's your job as a child to obey.

You know you need to scrap this - right?
 
Ethan (my 4 year old) went through something like this. He seemed to think that if he couldn't see me then I couldn't see him. He would put his hands over his eyes. I wasn't always yelling or lecturing. Just doing that "look" and that's how he would respond but he did it with discipline too. LOL! He would also do it if I walked in on him doing something he shouldn't so he always gave himself away. He doesn't do it anymore. I think it connected that I don't go away by him just covering his eyes.
 
i feel its really important for my children to look at me when i am telling them something of importance. i think it's respectful.
 
lizzyfizzy said:
i feel its really important for my children to look at me when i am telling them something of importance. i think it's respectful.
Click to expand...

I agree. I see it as a sign of disrespect. Its her own little way of disobeying you and disrespecting you. I, personally, wouldn't stand for it. She needs to know that you are the authority in her life and she needs to respect that. JMHO.
 
Mine do this, although not when I am correcting behavior. JJ thinks if he can't see me, I can't see him. :D
 
I also make Emma (Madelyn is still to little to "get" it) look at me when she's being disciplined. She's also VERY sensitive so yelling at her does no good. She just loses it. I do speak to her in a stern voice and if she's not looking at me, well, I make her. You always look at someone when they are speaking to you. I don't care what she does in timeout. If you think she's doing it as a way to "escape," then I'd try to correct it now, but that's jmo.
 
jannylynn said:
He seemed to think that if he couldn't see me then I couldn't see him.
Click to expand...

When Ben covered his eyes, it was usually something like this. He'd peek around his hands to check if I was still there.

As for the respect/looking at me thing, I'd say "Hands down" or "look at me," but since it's a stage that probably won't last long I wouldn't focus on it too much at that moment. In other words, I wouldn't get so caught up in making her look at me that the disciplining for whatever she'd done got lost.
 
I dunno. Case by case.

I know that my evil stepfather made me say, "yes sir" to him (and other adults), and to this day, I have major authority issues and a BIG soapbox about respecting EVERYBODY regardless of their age. I think respect is a 2-way street, and I don't think you can automatically interpret somebody's "defense" or coping mechanism as disrespect.
 
i hate when people act like that, krystal. i think people can totally be extreme and try to discipline by means of intimidation. that is not the name of the game. that's total crap and does nothing except instill fear in your child and that's almost abuse imo. however, no matter the age...when you are disciplining i feel it is important to gain your childs respect in the situation. therefore, i feel looking at the authoritative figure is important.

i hope this clears up what i was trying to say.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2026 XenForo Ltd.
Back
Top