which girl are you..

lauren grier

lauren grier

you're like stars
when someone wrongs you, lies to you, lets you down, etc ... how do you react?
are you out for revenge.. plotting and scheming..
scream and fly off the handle..
just deal with it and don't make a big production out of it..
a "talker" ?

Usually.. I'm not one to waste energy on someone elses stupidity. Someone hurts me.. pisses me off.. LIEesssssssss straight to my face (lol.. I'm mad btw).. I'm the girl who will bitch to my best friend, get it over with.. and just rarely ever confront the other person (unless it like NEEDS to be discussed as it will keep happening/they'll hurt my kid or something.).. I'm beginning to wonder though.. you know based on my past relationship history.. maybe I am doing it wrong. Maybe men NEED us to fly off the handle once in a while to keep them in line :p

so what's your typical reaction? doesn't have to be EVERY time.. but you know :p the majority :p
 
With men.....I fly off the handle, scream and yell, I throw things...then I calm down in a bit and talk about it.

With girls, I act like it's not a big deal....but I plot and scheme.

But seriously....I am a nice person :) But when I'm mad...yeah...not so cute.
 
I dunno, I guess I'm the shrug it off type. If it's a HUGE thing, or a repeat offender, then I just remove them from my life. I don't have time or energy for anger or fighting or revenge or anything. lol
 
With hubby....I get SUPER mad, start to cry and bitch and yell and then I have to leave the room and just get away from him. I then go back to him and talk about it.

With women...I very rarely get mad at women...I just have a hard time wasting my energy. I know that sounds horrible but honestly, there are very few things that my true friends do that would make me mad. I tend to forgive and forget very easily with friends. I'll be really pissed for awhile and scream and yell (not at them but in private) and then I"m usually fine.
 
If it's a close friend and I'm really hurt, I cry, then I give the cold shoulder until I can be civil. Then I talk it out.
If it's a close friend and they've betrayed me (which sadly enough has happened a few times), you're out of my life. Peace the eff out, I have no patience for that nonsense.
If it's Jordan, we usually yell, then give each other the silent treatment, then talk and make up.

I dated a guy that I NEVER fought with (and he never fought with me) and it was the single most miserable relationship ever. I'm actually grateful that Jordan and I fight. We yell and scream and slam doors, and then 2 hours later snuggle up in bed and talk it out and resolve the issue. We're both passionate (and stubborn) people, and we love each other tremendously, but we both very much need to have our side of the arguement be heard.

I definitely think that SOME men need to see us flip the hell out, to feel the wrath, and thus fear it to avoid in the future ;)
 
I will get stand up for myself or others being hurt, I can get a little confrontational (but try not to lose my head). However, If I feel my words are lost on the person, then I just become deeply sad and tend to run away & baricade myself from the person(s) that is doing the hurtful things. Looking back over the past 10 years it is a trend I've seen in myself & how I react to hurtful situations. Eventually I usually let the person back in, but sometimes not. I have one ex-flame that probably wonders WTF happened to me 'cause I just couldn't take it anymore and dropped off the planet. Don't know how effective this coping strategy is, lol.

-Diana
 
with DH I DO NOT hold back, but usually when people piss me off otherwise, I just bitch to him or my best girlfriends, get it out of my system and move on...not worth the energy...and I guess being in the military and I have never had any bad relationships with friends, but co-workers are a WHOLE NOTHER STORY:p
 
I dont have many girlfriends...only one best friend and sometimes she annoys me but I love her like a sister. She is better then my sisters actually. So if she annoys me I usually just ignore it because it most likely is on me and not really something she has particularly done at least not something she did intentionally.

With my husband we have been together so long we dont really argue much anymore. He actually rarely ever makes me mad.

When I get angry though it can be really bad!! I have lost my temper with strangers more then once but it has to be something pretty bad or they have to catch me at the wrong moment. One thing I hate more then anything is rudeness. Whether that is in a store or in traffic or a restaurant...I just cannot let it go. I have to say something to the offender and it usually does not end well because most of the time the person does not care they are being rude which bugs me even more.
 
Well, I cry on my DH shoulder. He's very understanding and patient and he always helps me see it from both sides. I'm not a get in your face kind of person. If someone wrongs me, I just talk to my DH and if the situation warrants me confronting the person, I will, but I've only done that once and that's a few months back with that lady I told you all about was going around spreading rumors about my daughter.
 
this has all been quite interesting.. lol.
you see the backwards thing about how I react.. is I have MAaaaaaaaaaaajor anger problems. but I never direct it at the people that deserve it (well anymore.. when I was younger that's a different story). I think I need to follow in the example of most of you guys and shove my anger at the right person (ie boys LOL).
 
For most of the world I have an initial burst of anger, but it's like a 60 second emotional rush that rarely makes it to full expression beyond a shouted word or two. I might mentally compose some revenge fantasies in my mind, they are just me blowing off steam. After that I mostly shrug it off & really don't even talk about it much. I figure karma will get them in the end so I don't need to do anything.

If it is DH or the boys, I wait until I can talk in a calm voice & talk about it (sometimes this comes after I bitch to a friend about the situation, depends how frustrated I am feeling). I also write notes to DH & he writes to me. We've found we both respond better to the written word, we understand what is being said better & with writing you have time to compose a response, you aren't just reacting immediately, you have a chance to really think about what you want to say & that has been invaluable to us.
 
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i cry.... lol i'm so pathetic but honestly that is what i do...

through the tears though i'm a "talker" i like to feel like things are worked out you know?
 
I'm a cryer too, Shawna. I *rarely* cry when I'm sad. But piss me off, get me mad enough, and you'll see some major water works.

With DH, I tend to cry and yell a bit and then really sit down and talk it out. With family, friends, etc. I tend to bitch about it to DH or Lizzy and then I usually get over it pretty quickly.

La, I think your "problem" is that you don't ever deal with the emotions and the problems. There is nothing that says you have to throw a big fit or go crazy when someone hurts you. But it sounds like your gut reaction is to simply ignore the problem and *thats* where you'll get into trouble. Especially in a relationship. Feeling and emotions tend not to just "go away". They just get pushed down and manifest themselves in different ways.
 
Hmm, with my DH, I yell and scream and then hold a grudge and eventually get over it (after he apologizes) ;) but something recently happened where someone I thought was a good friend stabbed me in the back. In that instance, I never said a word just moved on and figured with friends like that I don't need enemies and forgot about her.
 
I'm not a confrontational person. I don't like to fight; I actually don't know HOW to fight. Growing up, I was never allowed to raise my voice to my folks. Once in a rare while, dh and I might raise a voice, but still, we don't fight. We've never fought.
I've tried, in the past, to talk things thru with ex friends when things went sideways, but only online, not with real life friends. If I'm very angry, I cry. It's all very complicated,lol.
But fighting has never been an option for me, ever.
Understand too, though, that I went thru nearly 8 years of therapy to resolve a whole lot of that repressing stuff,lol. Repressing isn't good ;)
 
I am a non confrontational person... I hate fighting, I hate when people are mad at me so usually i just stay clear and let it blow over. Unless it's something that I need to stick up for but yeah...i usually just hold it all in...
 
I'm a hold it all in until I break type of person. no matter what happens i keeps it inside until one major thing happens and then I go freaking crazy and cry until it hurts and my eyes can't cry anymore.
 
Depends who it is. Dan can make me mad easily (and sometimes often, LOL), and when it's him I tend to give him the cold shoulder, then we yell a little, then it blows over. I need to be better about saying I'm mad from the start, but confrontation is hard for me and I have to let things fester and build a little to get mad enough to get there. For most "offenses," it's over within a few hours and we've moved on.

With strangers and casual friends it's "eh, whatever" and I move on immediately. I'm very reserved and have a hard time letting people in, so there are very few people with the power to truly wound me. Most of the people I've let get that close wouldn't treat me like that. There is 1 close family member who has trouble playing nice with others, and when it's him I complain to Dan, get mad and plot revenge for a few days, then get over it. Once in a while I'll confront him, but I've learned that it's as helpful as talking to a wall. He's a good man who is acting out of love, but he can't see that his way isn't always the best way.
 
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