What type of people...

YepBrook

YepBrook

Sweet Shoppe Designer
... do you gravitate towards? When it comes to friends and/or relationships.

I'm just curious. Totally random question! :D

I was standing at the sink doing a mountain of dishes and it just occurred to me that I have friends who are all pretty similar in a few ways. And that, despite my best efforts to be diverse, I tend to really do best with a certain 'type' of person. ANNND.... funny enough, the type of person I gravitate towards when it comes to friendships is not (at all) the type of person my husband is.

I tend to gravitate towards people with these traits:
Take-charge (because someone needs to call ME if you want to hang out), A-type, thoughtful, organized, very outgoing, talkative (although not so much that I can't speak), with a touch of 'grumpy bitch' and a side of HUGGER. ;)

In many ways I gravitate towards people somewhat like me but not SO much like me. Otherwise there would be WAAAY too much me going on. lol.
 
I definitely gravitate to people with kids the same age(s) as mine and crafty. They (hopefully) aren't bothered by listening to me complain or talk through whatever is going on in my life. I'm with you, Brook, on the take charge thing, cause I rarely leave my house unless I have to or someone invites me to do something.

Interesting question! :)
 
I gravitate towards people who like to have fun, laugh at themselves, and who don't take themselves so seriously. Intelligent people who like to try new things and have a sense of adventure.

I'm a pretty take charge person, so I prefer someone who is comfortable taking charge at times and then other times having me take charge. I definitely don't want to be in charge 100% of the time.
 
omg I am the same exact way to the same people Brooke lol.....EXCEPT I am TOTALLY disorganized!!!!!! but to my defense, out of all of my really good friends, I am the only one with kids still at home in lementary school !!!! I have 7 very very close friends and only 2 of them still have kids at home (1 has a junior in high school and the other one has a 7th grader and a junior in jigh school) :p SO normally they have to PLAN and then I just give DH advance notice and I go :) :) Luckily the one with both kids still at home, her son has Asperger's and she is a total god send for me since she has been through it for the past 17 years~!
 
Hmmm. That IS a very interesting question, and I'm not sure how to answer it. My immediate response is that I don't gravitate toward people at all. Lol. But maybe that's just cause I'm in a bit of a "people bug me" mood today. :D

I really can't think of a common theme among the people who I consider close friends. The fact that none of them even know each other personally probably has something to do with that, though.

I'm gonna have to think more about this one.
 
There seem to be 4 things that many of my friends have in common:

-Moms with special needs kids
-Kids about the same age as my kids
-Outgoing enough to pull me out of my shell and initiate outings
-People who can pick up the friendship right where we left off when we're together even if we aren't in frequent contact (I'm such an introvert; by the time I finally get done with my family for the day I just want solitude and am not going to be calling/emailing/Facebooking much.)

I've actually been thinking about this recently. I don't have a lot of friends, and many of the friends I do have are people I've gotten to know through our preschool. With 3 kids, I'm on my 8th (and final!) consecutive year there. For the first 6 years I was more involved and made some good friends, but I'm the last one of us with kids still at the school and we've lost touch.

I was thinking about why I didn't make any new friends last year and if I could change that this year, but I think some of it comes down to who the parents in my DD's class have been the last 2 years. None of them have special needs kids or know my kid with Smith-Magenis Syndrome well enough to "get it" and all of them have much younger kids. Of the 11 families in the class, only 1 other family has a child older than their pre-K kid. It isn't a particularly social group of parents, and those that have become friends seem to have toddlers and get together on the playground.
 
I had a really awesome friend for years! She was what you described as gravitating towards, Brook. But about 10 yrs ago she went off the deep end crazy, and did some stuff - after a few yrs was forgiven, and now she's my SIL :/ Things never went back to how they were though. She was the last real life friend I had.. Hmm, kind of sad to think about, but - I do ok without friends :)

As for dh, he's a lot like me :) I'm shy so I'm quiet, he's just quiet. We like a lot of the same things, and both would prefer a nice quiet night in over a loud get together with lots of people - but we do get out now and then.
 
Smart + smartass combo. I like people who are quick-witted and catch on quickly to innuendo and appreciate my humor and throw it back out there. Openly flawed but always trying to be better versions of themselves and bring out the best in me.

I avoid people that always focus on the negative and people who would rather have everybody be miserable as long as everybody is in the same boat rather than appreciating that life isn't always fair and to be happy for the folks that are enjoying positive experiences.
 
sarcastic, funny, playful, not too serious ... and I like someone a bit outgoing because in the beginning its hard for me to open up and feel comfortable so someone that can start convos and such is a help to bring me out of my shell. Also they really need to be open minded ( I am not fond of close minded, judgemental people). Other than that I could care less as I can appreciate the differences in people as well.
 
I gravitate toward laid back people. I grew up in a family of type A people and I am so not that type of person so I really tend toward people who are relaxed about things (though I did absorb my family's obsession with being on time so the relaxed people can get on my nerves with their relaxed attitude toward punctuality).

I like people with a mix of opinions on things so I am not living in an echo chamber. But they have to be relaxed about it. I like lively discussions but not heated debate or put downs about the other side. I know a couple militant atheists I can never discuss belief systems with because they have such contempt for people who follow any faith they can't have a calm discussion about it. But they are rational about other topics.

An ability to laugh at yourself is essential and an overlap or similarity in cultural tastes as well. Getting Monty Python, Star Wars, Firefly, Douglas Adams, Clue, Mel Brooks and Discworld references in conversation is pretty important too but not a deal breaker. :)
 
Hmmm...well, I met all my friends through my kids years and years ago and we have stuck together for about 14 years. The big group is about 18 of us, but then I have a couple of subset groups - 5 and 6. However, I am one of the few with kids still at home - most are empty-nesters now.

We have a few things in common - we like to eat and drink! Ha! So lots of happy hours and lunches/dinners. And of course, our kids. And sports. Most of our kids played sports in school.

As far as personalities, I'm not really drawn to anything in particular.
 
Sounds like we'd be Besties Brook. ;)

YepBrook said:
... do you gravitate towards? When it comes to friends and/or relationships.

I'm just curious. Totally random question! :D

I was standing at the sink doing a mountain of dishes and it just occurred to me that I have friends who are all pretty similar in a few ways. And that, despite my best efforts to be diverse, I tend to really do best with a certain 'type' of person. ANNND.... funny enough, the type of person I gravitate towards when it comes to friendships is not (at all) the type of person my husband is.

I tend to gravitate towards people with these traits:
Take-charge (because someone needs to call ME if you want to hang out), A-type, thoughtful, organized, very outgoing, talkative (although not so much that I can't speak), with a touch of 'grumpy bitch' and a side of HUGGER. ;)

In many ways I gravitate towards people somewhat like me but not SO much like me. Otherwise there would be WAAAY too much me going on. lol.
Click to expand...
 
krystalhartley said:
Smart + smartass combo. I like people who are quick-witted and catch on quickly to innuendo and appreciate my humor and throw it back out there. Openly flawed but always trying to be better versions of themselves and bring out the best in me.

I avoid people that always focus on the negative and people who would rather have everybody be miserable as long as everybody is in the same boat rather than appreciating that life isn't always fair and to be happy for the folks that are enjoying positive experiences.
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amen! This^^^

It takes me a long time to open up that people see the true me... but I'm drawn to the funny, smart, and quick wit personalities... who see the funny in the most inappropriate situations...

I am also drawn to relaxed, genuine people... if they make a mistake, they own it... they aren't afraid to laugh at their short comings and never bring down someone to make them look better.
 
MamaBee said:
amen! This^^^

It takes me a long time to open up that people see the true me... but I'm drawn to the funny, smart, and quick wit personalities... who see the funny in the most inappropriate situations...

I am also drawn to relaxed, genuine people... if they make a mistake, they own it... they aren't afraid to laugh at their short comings and never bring down someone to make them look better.
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This is me, too! Especially the part about taking a long time to see the true me. I'm pretty shy right off the bat, and probably seem kind of blah. Once I am "out of my shell", I like to be around people who like to crack jokes and be silly, not take life too seriously, etc.
 
misfitinmn said:
This is me, too! Especially the part about taking a long time to see the true me. I'm pretty shy right off the bat, and probably seem kind of blah. Once I am "out of my shell", I like to be around people who like to crack jokes and be silly, not take life too seriously, etc.
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Sometimes I think Sara and I are the same person..
 
See, I am the spontaneous, easygoing, not easily offended, funny, disorganized, outgoing type. I choose friends who have similar interests and are smart enough to converse with but at the same time balance my weaknesses. At the same time, I can easily get along with anyone... It's just that I don't tend to make lasting friendships with people who are too much like me. I have friends like that and we rarely call each other or can organize ourselves to get together. LOL!
 
My closest friend in the town I live in is similar to me in some ways but in many other ways we are polar opposities. I rarely speak my mind out loud and she has no problem with that lol
 
I am blessed to be part of a four-some as we call it, lol where we are all different.
One is quiet, reserved, go with the flow and loves to listen, kinda reserved.
The other is talkative, loves to talk about herself but not so much where it's annoying and she occasionally takes over conversations but we bring her back to us, very outgoing.
The other loves to crack jokes, funny, outgoing, always has a story to tell and loves to start trouble. We have to keep our eye on her but not enough where we'd jump in to save her from someone.
What I love is we can be open, honest and none of us are easily offended by one another, we shrug it off and keep it moving.
3 out of 4 of us stay away from catty, bit**y, fake people we can spot them right away and usually shake our heads and say NO!!
I tend to be reserved till I get to know you a little and if I feel I' can chill with you then I open up otherwise I'm quiet and just observing and listening all the way... I tend to hit my marks with certain people to stay away from is that bad not for me, I don't like DRAMA!!!
 
My closest friend who doesn't live in my computer (hehe!!), is pretty similar to me but I will admit we don't go out a LOT because she doesn't initiate that a lot - and I am content to stay home all the time! But I don't know if I could be really close with someone who pushed me to be more outgoing/social than I am because that person generally wouldn't understand my homebody nature. Does that make sense? This might explain why I have so very few friends. Maybe I WOULD actually really love having a friend like that. Interesting food for thought.

(Did I mention that I am much more well-spoken in person? My personality doesn't translate well to the written word, it turns out.)
 
Having sense of humour, not taking themselves too seriously, good-hearted. Creative, lots of times. Interesting. Sometimes a similar personality, sometimes the very opposite. Lots of time with the same hobby. With depth, but never with a totally negative take on life. I guess.
 
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I like to be around people who are easy to talk to, easy going & make me laugh.

I don't enjoy being around people who are high maintenance or are easily offended, but I find that I really learn a lot from these kind of people.

I'm in a position right now where I don't really get to be picky about my friends, so I feel extra blessed that the people who have befriended me are the kind of people I like to be around.
 
When I was younger, I had a lot of 'wounded bird' relationships. I would be unconsciously drawn to broken pitiful woe-is-me people that I wanted to 'help' (change) and that I felt 'needed' (sucked me dry with neediness) my help. I had no one to blame but me when these relationships were totally unsatisfying and exhausting, but I could never figure that out BEFORE I was already in over my well-meaning but totally insecure-and-needing-constant-validation head.

I think I am better abt this now! :D

I'm most drawn to people who are smart/witty/wordy, creative, tell-it-like-it-is (like me), but also are, more often than not, charismatic life-of-the-party fun (not like me) people, too. It's usually pretty obvious when someone really 'gets' me and appreciates the way I am, so I try to hang out with those types as often as I can.

I tend to have more online/scrapper friends than I do IRL ones, and since most of my IRL ones don't live close by, I don't tend to get out much. I'm terrible at making friends, so even though I'm hoping DD going to preschool this year will help me make friends with some of the kids' moms in her class, I'm not holding my breath.

I am always awkward and clunky when I first meet someone. I am just in awe of those people who can walk up to anyone, genuinely smile, hold a conversation, and walk away without overanalyzing or secondguessing themselves.
 
LeeAndra said:
I am always awkward and clunky when I first meet someone. I am just in awe of those people who can walk up to anyone, genuinely smile, hold a conversation, and walk away without overanalyzing or secondguessing themselves.
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Yes, me too! My sister is like that, but not a bit of it rubbed off on me.
 
I tend to gravitate to broken people. I'm a fixer. I need to make someone better.

BUT, traits wise, I tend to flock to people who are sarcastic, don't take themselves too seriously, have kids, enjoy music, aren't big into politics, and are creative in some way.
 
I tend to gravitate towards people with a off beat sense of humour; nothing is off limits, laugh at themselves, not always PC, with a hint of sexual innuendo + in a side of artsy/crafty, a little hippie crunchiness going on, and being not afraid to speak their mind. Basically I am a narcissist that likes to hang out with people like me. lol
 
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