Um.. opinions..

lauren grier

lauren grier

you're like stars
let me preface to say, I am not one who thinks it's "cute" when little 5 year olds are calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. So.. yes. lol..
Anyway. There's a girl in ce's class (kindy) that has been telling him she has a crush on him. Ce, said something like ook.. maxwell loves you go talk to him instead. She's making him really uncomfortable at this point.. and I pulled out a drawing from his backpack today, that this little girl drew.... and it was a picture of ce and this girl, kissing (ok either kissing or headbutting each other LOL.. this is a 5yr old drawing).. and then there were thought bubbles coming from their heads, and she drew a picture of 2 people and a baby. and hearts and gay crap all over the place..
The problem is mostly on ce's end.. I dunno how to help him deal with it. He has major issues telling people how he feels, speaking up etc etc. There was a little kid spitting on & pushing him and he flat out refused to talk to the teacher (I had to email her and then had a little talk with her before we made any progress.. ce STILL wouldn't tell her what happened, but did tell her the name of the child).. anyway.. I keep telling ce to just flat out tell this girl to leave him alone.. but he won't. He doesn't want to 1) make anyone sad or 2) get any one in trouble.
The girl whatever.. she's a weirdo. I am sure she's harmless.. ce just has a lot of background things going on and he's being a spazzazoid about this whole thing. Any suggestions? I will talk to the teacher, just because she knows the dealio with ce and his speaking up for himself.. but I want to work on this with ce 1:1 too..
 
well luckily my son hasn't gone thru this...i don't think i'll be much help either...i think until ce tells her to stop she'll continue...
 
Ce is so sweet that he doesn't wanna hurt any feelings. But, he needs to know that it's ok not to like someone like that and that yes, it will hurt her, but I'd rather have her hurt (and being in kindy - it won't last long LOL) than have my son uncomfortable with the situation.

My son went through this himself when he was in 1st grade. We just had to have a talk with me and DS and the little girl and her mother and the teacher. It helped a great deal and she backed off and left Zakk alone.
 
We dealt with a similar situation last year. I talked to Emma's teacher first and foremost and then she sat the two of them down and she started them talking. I didn't know the little boy and Emma didn't feel comfortable telling the little boy to buzz off. Her teacher was kind of neutral ground for her. School started this year and she was actually excited to see him. Maybe the little girl doesn't know she's being psycho. Even if the teacher says something to her, maybe that'd help her back off. Poor ce! Seriously.
 
I am not helpful, either, because my 4 year old calls every girl his girl friend and ever boy his boy friend, but he "loves" Ko Kai Yen and has already planned their wedding. I don't discourage it, I just go with the flow. But if KKY was drawing him pictures that he shredded up, ,I would definitely have a talk with SOMEone. And at this age, I wouldn't be too concerned that he can't express himself to other kids. But I am, in general, ,not a worrier, so again, not a lot of help.
 
hmmmm.... that's a tough one! esp not really knowing ce ... every kid needs something a little different to help them through the major issues of life... i'd say, since he seems to be worried abt hurting feelings, maybe have a chat with him and offer some suggestions for how he could NICELY but FIRMLY tell this little girl what's up! LOL! like, I like you as my friend, but I don't like kissing pictures (or headbutts...whatever!)... blah blah! something like that...??? maybe???

my kiddo is a tricky one to help out when it comes to social stuff also, so I totally understand how frustrating it can be when u want to help them help themselves and they just won't! uggh!
 
This is just MHO, but I think kids really need to learn to deal with things themselves... unless it's life threatening, of course. My parents did *everything* for us and I can say it didn't help us one bit. My sister and I are borderline dysfunctional. If they had just made us take care of some of these things that happen in life on our own. But they didn't. They just took care of everything.

I dunno. Maybe it's easy for me to say that because my girls are too young for all this lovey dovey stuff but I can say that it would have to be crazy-out-of-hand for me to fix it for them. That's the best I can come up with. Hope he gets it all worked out. So young to be breakin' hearts already. lol
 
My oldest son just had to give his first "it's not you, it's me, I just like you as a friend" speech. He's in first grade. A little girl we see regularly (her mom & I are good friends & her kids are the same age as mine but htey go to different schools) decided in August that she and Havoc were 'dating' and she was always wanting to go for walks with him alone without their brothers (thank goodness little brothers will not stand for that) adn she would write him little notes with hearts and I love you all over it and hug him good bye even when he said 'no'. Her mom was giving me all the details her DD told her so I was aware of the situation. Havoc is a sensitive guy and didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings so he just waited and tried to distract her. But finally it got to be enough and I said he need to tell her he didn't want to be her boyfriend just her friend & she might be sad but it wasn't nice not to tell her the truth.

So he did when we were all together last and she came upstairs where her mom & I were talking and said "Havoc just broke up with me. He says he only wants ot be friends!" and stomped off into her room. 10 minutes later she was back downstairs playing. We had a bit of laugh about it because we'd both assumed we had another 6-7 years before this situation occured. :)
 
lol.. oh I WISH he would take care of shizz himself... it would make my life easier, I seriously let the pushign crap at school go on for weeks before I finally had to step in-- and even then, I left it all up to the teacher and ce, I didn't tell her I knew the kids names or what exactly they were doing..
just, a little background on ce-- because of all the things he's been through in the past 1.5 years, he's a bit.......................... well a lot withdrawn and sensitive, and.. some bad behavioral stuff.. he won't talk to anyone, children or adults.. It's getting to the point where it is causing problems @ school and such so they've been working on it with him.. but.. I swear, it's like I can not get a single thing through his head. he j ust says ok mommy ok mommy ok mommy till I shut up haha. I just wish someone knew the magic words to finally crack into his lil brain.
 
Stacey42 said:
So he did when we were all together last and she came upstairs where her mom & I were talking and said "Havoc just broke up with me. He says he only wants ot be friends!" and stomped off into her room. 10 minutes later she was back downstairs playing. We had a bit of laugh about it because we'd both assumed we had another 6-7 years before this situation occured. :)
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lol this seriously made me giggle.. children are so freakin weird!
 
Tell him to tell the the girl "My mother says I cannot have a girlfriend/get married/whatever until I am 35" or something like that.

I remember when Henry had his heart crushed by a girl in kindy b/c she didn't want to marry him. :p
 
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