ughhh....

J

jessica31876

New member
ever have someone in your life who no matter what you do when you get done talking to them you feel guilty or bad or upset? Im feeling like that now. It seems like everytime I talk to my sister I end up feeling like that. Tonight I call and after talking for about 45 minutes I end up feeling guilty and upset when all I wanted to do was call and wish her a happy birthday because today is her birthday. Sometimes it seems like feeling sorry for herself actually makes her happy. And forget trying to help her find a solution to the problem because that just sets her off. She can go from happy to mad to crying to mad to happy in minutes. It is just so odd/frustrating.
 
I have a few people like that too, I just try to grin and bear it. Then I try and take a break from them for awhile. Good luck to you, I know it's frustrating :)
 
Some people just like being miserable. All day I've been telling my niece "Bubala, you don't want to be the best at complaining." But, she's in her own little 'I'm 14 and I know more than you" world, so I let it go.

As for your sister--next time you call for something specific, dive right in with, "Hey, I don't have a lot of time, I just wanted to call for XYZ." Then end it...no need to feel guilty or bad for any reason. Unless I'm with my mother, that's how I handle her most of the time.
 
I can relate to your experience, only it was with a very toxic friendship that I have, within the last year, broken away from. Unfortunately that's not an option for you since she's your sister. There are some people in this world that think the world revolves around them and they aren't "happy" unless they have the empathy and sympathy of others feeding their dramatic lives. And unfortunately, she probably doesn't even realize she does that back-and-forth thing. I'm sorry you're feeling so down and frustrated. Just remember it's HER issues and HER life and that YOU DID NOT do anything to create her drama and any current situation she may be experiencing at this point in time. Try to breathe, listen, contribute what you can, and then let it go when you hang up. I know, easier said than done.

Does she live in the same town as you where you see her regularly, or is she a long distance call away and you get all of the drama and details via phone conversations?

Hang in there and {{HUGS}}!
 
not really long distance but I dont see her often. She lives about an hour away. It has gotten to the point where I dont answer her calls and when I do I make excuses to get off the phone. I feel guilty for doing this because nobody in our family really talks to her anymore because of this reason. Then I feel guilty because of financial situations she is in and she is having a really rough time right now. While we have our own financial hardships right now we are not in as bad a boat because we are essentially debt-free (no mortgage, credit cards, car note)
 
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I had one of these and on January 1st, I cute the ties. I have never felt better to do something in my life, and she is family. I felt like a weight was lifted. I had wasted so much time worried and trying so hard, but now I have that free time to fret about other things.
 
Yes - I know someone just like that and let me tell you - I've been walking around for the last 4 weeks feeling emotionally drained.
 
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