Teenage Curfews

julifish

julifish

New member
I'm kind of curious here. What do you consider to be a good curfew for teenagers? What was your curfew when you were a teenager?

My 17 yo has an 11pm curfew on non-school nights. I will occasionally extend to 11:30 if she's at someone's house and they are watching a movie/hanging out under parental supervision. Her friends have a 1 am non-school night/spring break week curfew. So I'm trying to judge if I'm being too harsh or not. Also, I'm just curious as to what other mom's of teens (and those of you that not so long ago were teens yourselves) think.

Our school night curfew is 9pm for both my 17 yo and my 13 yo.
 
For me, it was 9PM during school night and 10PM for non-school night. I was happy to obliged though... I was a homebody.
 
Well, we have a city-wide one of midnight for kids under 17. If you're caught out it's a huge pain in the butt. It's happened to one of the kids friend before. So now that they're over 17 we generally stick to the same rule. If they're wanting to be out later I'd just rather they stayed where they are, kwim? And it changes with the circumstances. Like, Jake works at the movie theater and closing time on weekends IS midnight. So if he wants to grab food with his coworkers afterwards, which is fair, he won't be home till 1:00.
 
I always went on a case-by-case basis with my son. It depended on what he was doing, where, with who, etc. His was mostly midnight from the time he was driving (beginning of sophomore year) but if he was working late his curfew was to be home whenever he got out. He was always very good about letting me know where he was and when he was heading home. I do the same for Cheyanne (currently a sophomore), although she rarely does anything past 11 pm anyway.

During the school week there is no curfew per se - we have a lot of events where she isn't home until well after 9 (games, drama, etc.). She has friends over occasionally during the week to work on projects and my rule of thumb is they need to be gone by the time I'm in bed (never after 9 pm - LOL). Same if she's at a friend's house - I'm not staying up after MY bedtime to come get you.

Once Cheyanne has her license it will be the same as with her brother - case by case scenario. My parents were the same with me. If I was at a football game with friends then my curfew was late enough to go to get something to eat and hangout after the game (DQ was our local hangout) and time to get home without speeding (I lived 20 minutes out of town). If I was on a one-on-one date with a boy then my curfew would be late enough for whatever we were doing - movie and a bite to eat with NO time left over for parking ;) LOL I was responsible and my son was very responsible, so I'm hoping the same holds true for Cheyanne, which I think it probably will - she censors herself more than I would!
 
If I remember correctly, my non-school-night curfew was 11 pm when I was a teenager. It was a huge pain because all my friends had later curfews, so anytime we went somewhere together, I'd either have to drive separately or make everyone else leave early. Midnight seems reasonable to me (Although I may feel totally differently when Logan starts driving and going out with friends!). :p
 
I think mine was midnight, but I also lived 20 miles away from the town I went to school in, 75 miles from Gainesville (which was the closest mall/movie theater), or 40 miles to Walmart, so if I was going anywhere really fun on the weekends, it was probably far away.

School nights, I don't remember, 9 or 10. My senior year I think it may have been 10.
 
I did not have a car in high school so I was rarely out without my parents and/or at a school function during the school year. My weekend curfew was midnight, I think. During the summer, I worked at a mini golf & arcade place that didn't close until midnight (and I always worked nights) so then I would get home around 12:30. That wasn't until my senior year, though. I was not popular in high school so I didn't have parties or anything like that to go to.
 
We have a law that 16 year olds can't drive after midnight, so that is easy to enforce here on weekends. :) For my 16 year old, sually 9:30 or 10 on weeknights and 10:30 weekends unless something is going on - a formal dance or a late movie or something, then they can stay later. It was hard when our 19 year old was home from college because he's used to staying up very late but it would wake my husband up when he got home, so we tried to have him home by midnight most nights, too.
 
My oldest ( 17 ) doesn't have a set curfew. We just haven't needed to implement one. She's really busy during the school week and weekend things we just decide on a case by case basis. She's pretty reasonable and hasn't really ever pushed it. I'd say generally she's usually home by or before midnight.
 
Mine growing up was 12:30 because my dad, a cop, wanted me home before 1am bar close. At that point though, he didn't care if anyone hung out at his house or we day outside, I just needed to be home by bar close. Honestly being that trusting of me and explaining his reasoning worked very well for me, I didn't feel a need to rebel, I will likely so the same.
 
Keely~B said:
My oldest ( 17 ) doesn't have a set curfew. We just haven't needed to implement one. She's really busy during the school week and weekend things we just decide on a case by case basis. She's pretty reasonable and hasn't really ever pushed it. I'd say generally she's usually home by or before midnight.
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This is how my parents were too. They'd ask when I thought I'd be home and if it was going to be much later I needed to call and let them know. I don't remember it ever being an issue but I never felt the need to rebel against it either. But I was a pretty tame teenager anyway.
 
I lived in a rural area. My HS was almost 40 miles away so I was home every night after my sports practice. If I went out, I had to arrange it with my parents because someone had to drive me to the school (40 miles away) and bring me home (frosh/sophomore) and then when I reached jr/sr, I was too into school and college prep to go out much. When I was out with friends near home, my mom gave me a set time to come home so it was a case-by-case basis. The only curfew I remember is 10pm on school nights.
 
We haven't really run into a need for having a curfew yet with our son.... because he still can't drive it's basically a time before we are too tired to drive to pick him up which is usually between 10 and 10:30. School dances are held on a school night and end at 10:30 which seem to be the norm. When he is finally able to drive it will be on or before midnight because it is the law that new driver's are not allowed to drive after midnight.

I never had any curfew, but I never asked to go out anywhere either.
 
I had a curfew of sorts - if I was just going to be hanging out at a friends - it was generally 11 my senior year, before that I think 10:30. Now if we were going to a football game, seeing a movie and getting something to eat - then it was adjusted if it made sense. I never had a problem with it growing up as it seemed reasonable to me, because if there was a movie that ended at 11 and it would take me 20 minutes to get home then we could talk about it and it may be okay with my parents.

Our town also had a curfew - if you were on your way home from work then it was okay as long as you didn't stop other places etc. Once I did get questioned going home (I lived on base and had to go through the gate and have my id checked to get on after 9 then) the guards wanted to follow me home and ask my parents if I had really been at work - it was so strange...because I had been at work though didn't have a uniform so maybe that was why. I said sure and they followed me to my house then drove off, maybe just making sure I went home. I have heard that it was a big pain if you were caught out after curfew though.
 
My curfew growing up was dictated by the last bus or train....and truth be told still is 10+ years later.


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I haven't had a curfew ever, but my sisters did. We don't know why and we will never know why. But I remember them having an 8:30pm curfew, that's actually the time of the last ride in our place.
 
My boys 17 and almost 14 dont dont go out.
There is nothing to do here at schooldays.
We live in a small place.
When the oldest one goes out in the weekend , which happens a few times a year he can go till 2.00 o clock.
 
my kids have a 9.30pm bed time 7 days a week - 2 boys ages 16 and 17, when they have friends over they can stay up as late as they want. We don't let them go out at night
 
My 14 year old does nothing weekdays, nothing to do and small town. Bed is 9.30pm school days. When he has friends over they stay up till 1am ish. He's happy to come home ftom school and play his friends online and they also don't go out. So no curfew as such but I'm sure that will change.

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I never had a set curfew growing up. I think my parents and I would agree on a time on a case by case basis. They were pretty awesome; as long as they knew where I was and if I would call if I would be home later they pretty much allowed anything! And it worked out really well :)
 
I happened to run in to one of my daughter's friend's mom last night. I asked her what her son's curfew was. She was in total agreement with me that 11-12 is late enough. Maybe later if it's a special event. She thought she was the only mom saying to be home before midnight. She even said she'll go to bed before he's home (gasp....I can fall asleep but I'll wake up startled every 20-30 min until she's home safe).

I just see no reason to be out running late at night for the fun of it. I get so anxious after 10pm (okay, all the time) that there will be an accident of some kind and I'll lose her.

I loved hearing from all of you. You have me thinking about if I should just do each night event by event or if I just set a standard curfew and then adjust as she requests. She is leaving for college in one year and I want her to be able to be responsible for herself but still have fun. The only way she's going to have experience with that is if I give her a little more freedom at home. Summer is coming...maybe this will be the summer of a midnight curfew.
 
I was on my own at 15 so my curfew was generally whatever I chose. My kids were midnight on non-school nights and 9 on school nights unless there was a special event then it was decided on for the event. The only other exception was work.
 
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