We're having a lot of dark days with my oldest. We've gone through so many hard months that I really cannot wait until we can put it all behind us and we can start focusing on happier things like how life is precious and wonderful. No one ever prepares you for things like this when you have a baby. I had no idea the chaos that would come some fourteen years later when I got pregnant. Even if I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat, just maybe do things differently to try to prevent these things from happening. :hugs: