Struggling tonight

LenaGardner

LenaGardner

New member
Here it is, 1:30 a.m., and I'm awake :(. Of course there's a reason for this. It is SO hard to get two kids to bed at the same time. I honestly am doing fine on my own for mealtimes, for bathtimes, for outings and even naps aren't THAT bad..they just don't nap at the same time, ever, and that's that.

But bedtime......bedtime I dread every day. They both want my full attention and I don't have it to give to either :( It honestly breaks my heart. I'll be laying and snuggling with Naomi and so enjoying it, and Parker will start screaming and I have to pry myself away from her to feed him and she hangs on to me, she doesn't want me to go :(

So I get Parker to sleep around 8 usually and can focus on her...but then at least twice a week then, I fall asleep with her while trying to get her down. And I don't WANT to. 8:30 is just way too early to go to sleep for me. So then I wake up when Parker wants to eat and then I can't go back to sleep and I'm up for hours.

It stinks.

/end whine.
 
Your love for those two just pours out of your posts, even when you are struggling. Just wanted to let you know I'm inspired by your commitment to your kiddos and family. Big hugs to you.
 
That stinks. I can't imagine how hard it is to feel torn like that either. Is it possible to throw on some Baby Einstein for Parker during Naomi time -just to buy 15 minutes? or put him to bed 15 mins earlier or something?

Hope it gets better for you.
 
OMG, the exact same thing over here. I feel so bad all the time... especially when Phin watches me play with Yorick from his bouncer, he gets such a sad baby look on his face. So I scoop him up and plop him in my lap, and then Yorick wants in my lap and doesn't want to share. It's awful, I had no idea how guilty I'd feel all the time by having 2 kids. I don't know how my mom managed 4.

Big hugs for both of us, Lena.
 
My first year or so with 2, I struggled with this kind of guilt all the time. It really stinks for now, especially since there's so little you can do to change when they need to sleep and buy more time with each of them. (And both of mine were terrible sleepers and needed lots of my time at bedtime.) But it will get easier! One of these days it'll actually be nice to sit in bed with both of them and read stories together. Hang in there until then!

Voodoo_Bryn said:
It's awful, I had no idea how guilty I'd feel all the time by having 2 kids. I don't know how my mom managed 4.
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You, too, Bryn--hang in there for now! Once they get old enough to start playing together and really having a good relationship, you realize they're gaining a lot more from having each other than they're losing by sharing you. It's hard early on when they both need you more than anyone else, but eventually you breathe a big sigh of relief and realize you did the right thing after all by having a 2nd.
 
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I know exactally how you feel girl...Having a hubby that travels is hard let alone not home for an extended length of time. You are a brave girl and are clearly very strong. Keep your head up and know that this too shall pass. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}
 
I'm going to second Rachel. It is hard those first 8-10 months but once the second one becomes more, um...interactive, as it were, it gets a lot easier. DS1 never really viewed DS2 as anything other than an annoying new toy for Mommy until DS2 was crawling & pulling himself up & could respond actively to DS1's attempt to play.

Which isn't to say having a 5 & 4 year old demanding your attention is easy, it's just a little easier to do something with both of them at the same time.
 
Sorry it is so rough. My oldest two are only two years apart and my daughter was thrilled with a new baby so I would let her help when I had to take care of the baby. Things like get mommy a wipe or a diaper. Id let her sing to the baby while we are trying to get him to sleep and when she wanted to be held while I was holding her brother she would climb up next to us. I know it is tough but it is only temporary and before you know it they will be playing together happily and developing a bond that will make you so happy!!
 
Thanks girls! :wub:

it's not that they are close together or anything like that. It's just that I don't have a hand with them :( I can't BELIEVE how much smoother went when I had help!
 
awe, you're just a big sweet'ol softie :p LOL I'm a big meanie of a mom... when bedtime rolls around here it's "you, get in bed!" and "you too, get in bed!" hugs, kisses and lights out, mommy-time.
 
I've got to tell you, I don't know how you and all the military wives, wives of frequent travelers and single moms do it. I admire you all so much! It's exhausting and frustrating enough to raise kids when there's someone to share the work.

One tip I can offer--I never lay down with mine because 9 out of 10 times I'd fall asleep, sometimes before they would. Instead I sit on the floor next to the bed and put my head on the bed next to them. Sometimes I still fall asleep, but it's not that comfortable so I wake up in 20 or 30 minutes instead of sleeping half the night and then being unable to go back to sleep.
 
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