Some news...

webseitler said:
So, I have a question... and I hope you'll forgive me for hijacking the thread to ask it. I've been thinking that I'd ask you all for advice, and since you posted this Nikki, now I'm curious.

Aside from what it will mean for your son at school, is there any reason to have a child evaluated? We are pretty darn sure that our son (Joshua--6) has Asperger's. He's classic. Ha! But since we homeschool, I haven't bothered to talk to a doctor about it. Knowing my family, I really don't want him to have a "label" (they just won't handle it well--they will talk about it all the time and make it so awkward for everyone). I figure right now, my husband and I are just doing good to know our son's strengths and weaknesses and help others understand how to be loving and kind towards him (like when he goes out with my mom, or when he's at swimming lessons). So, for someone in my situation... would you recommend I have him evaluated? I just don't see a need for it, since we teach him at home and can make adjustments for all his needs...

Thanks! :wub:
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Really the only reason we had him evaluated was because of the problems at school. At home I have no trouble with him. And with Avery, and probably most Aspergers kids you don't really notice something's up unless you are with him all the time or are just looking for it. I've always just called it "quirky-ness". If I were homeschooling then I wouldn't have bothered I don't think. I just needed some medical documentation to take to his school to show them that he needs a little extra in some areas. He goes to a private school..so we don't have all the resources a public school does, so this year we'll see how well they are at meeting those needs. And it's not a lot..just little things that the teacher can do to help him when he gets in one of his melt downs..or feels overwhelmed. Just teaching him skills etc. I feel like they will do this for us and if not then we may move him to public.

I've suspected something was up with Avery since he was very small. At 18 mos he was still not verbal. We had him in speech therapy for about a year and then all of a sudden at age 3 he started talking..but like in full sentences. It's like it was in there all that time he just wasn't ready to let it out. And then after I had Ella, the differences in their behaviors really became obvious to me...b/c she was doing things that are more "typical" at certain ages that he never did...stuff like that.

It did take a while for me to get DH on board with this..and our families too all would say, "oh he's fine, he'll outgrow it"..when as his mother all along I knew it was more than that.

I am okay with it. It took a lot of praying and a lot of tears to get me to this point but I know now that anything we do for him is better than doing nothing as long as it helps him.
 
Thanks, everyone! I just wanted to be sure that I wasn't overlooking something when I made up my mind that it wasn't really needed... because if there was a good reason to have it done, I would want to! I appreciate your advice. :)
 
((Hugs)), Nikki. I know well that feeling of being glad to have a diagnosis so you know better how to help your child. You have a great attitude and are willing to advocate for him, so he's going to be fine.

My 6 year old is in the middle of an Asperger's evaluation, too. He's being evaluated for ADHD and Aspergers, and I think the ADHD diagnosis is very likely and the autism could go either way. He has already been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder, a motor planning and speech disorder, and a sleep disorder, so he gets a lot of services and special ed at school even though he's a very smart kid. We've felt for a long time like there was a missing piece of the puzzle that would tie a lot of his issues together, and I can't wait to get the evaluation results next month and hopefully have some new things we can try with him.
 
One more thing. In the lower elementary years, often kids with ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome can do really, really well. The school work they do is fact-based and, well, kids on the spectrum are generally really, really good with facts. And the social demands made by the other kids aren't too overwhelming.

However, once they hit the middle school years, around fifth grade through eighth grade, the schoolwork starts to change and gets more abstract, involves more writing and inferential thinking, and they need more guidance with their executive functioning skills (ie. organization, planning, getting things done, etc.) And the social demands of peers can start to get very, very confusing because they just don't get the hidden curriculum (all those social things that all the other kids just seem to know).

Not saying if things are great now, they won't be great later. But things can get stressful as academic and social demands increase. Maybe not necessarily to the point of needing a diagnosis for service, but sometimes they do.
 
Sounds like Avery is very lucky to have you as a Mama Bear to look out for his best interests! I'm glad you have a diagnosis and things can move forward in a positive direction!
 
nikkiARNGwife said:
Thanks everyone!

It's like his doctor was telling me...even with a diagnosis of Aspergers..every kid is going to be different and have different issues. Avery is super affectionate and his sensory issues are mostly involving sounds and weird lighting etc. Like when we were on vacation a couple of weeks ago we took him and his cousins to a kid museum that totally freaked him out b/c it had really loud music and flashing lights and stuff. We eventually had to just leave he hated it so much..whereas the other kids were having a blast.

The worst part of this for me is seeing how other kids react to him. Like on the playground when all the other boys are wanting to play football or something..he wants to pretend he's Super Mario and he doesn't understand why they think that's weird. And then of course they'll pick on him..which really upsets me..b/c he doesn't understand why they'll pick on him.

This is kind of funny but I've been watching The Big Bang Theory on tbs this summer..I'd never seen it before and it's hilarious and all that but I kept thinking that Sheldon Cooper reminded me of someone and couldn't ever place it..and then one night it just hit me that he makes me think of Avery...the way he's SO literal in his thinking..the social awkwardness and stuff. So maybe he'll grow up to be a physicist lol
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Hilarious! We call Landon "Sheldon" all the time! (we all love that show here!) We don't have a diagnosis but yea......I feel we are in the same boat. At least in the same pond. LOL

I am glad that you were able to get answers today. What a relief for you and Avery. Sending lots of hugs your way!
 
Another trait Avery has and I don't know if this is the Aspergers or just Avery but he talks like he's a grown person most of the time. Like today when we were leaving the doctor she asked what we were going to do the rest of the day and this was his answer...

"Well, I wanted to go to the toy store, but apparently my Mama is taking me to the bookstore instead." and he says it so matter of factly that it just sounds hilarious coming from this scrawny little 7 year old kid. lol
 
nikkiARNGwife said:
Another trait Avery has and I don't know if this is the Aspergers or just Avery but he talks like he's a grown person most of the time. Like today when we were leaving the doctor she asked what we were going to do the rest of the day and this was his answer...

"Well, I wanted to go to the toy store, but apparently my Mama is taking me to the bookstore instead." and he says it so matter of factly that it just sounds hilarious coming from this scrawny little 7 year old kid. lol
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This sounds like my 9 year old niece. :)
 
so glad yo uhave a diagnosis...I will beinterested to see how Peyton does in Kinderrgarten this year, cause he is also just "different" on a few levels and esepcially when it comes to the meltdowns...
 
Having this confirmation must be a relief! At least now you really know how you can better support him. And my heart kinda warmed when you said home was his comfort zone :)
 
I'm so glad you have answers now so that the school can really come along side you with more assistance and help in the ways Avery needs. It must be hard to hear his diagnosis definitively, even if you kind of already knew it. But, wow! It seems like you are surrounded here with so much knowledge and support. :wub:
 
nikkiARNGwife said:
This is kind of funny but I've been watching The Big Bang Theory on tbs this summer..I'd never seen it before and it's hilarious and all that but I kept thinking that Sheldon Cooper reminded me of someone and couldn't ever place it..and then one night it just hit me that he makes me think of Avery...the way he's SO literal in his thinking..the social awkwardness and stuff. So maybe he'll grow up to be a physicist lol
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LOL-This is one of DH's favorite shows. Ben's special ed teacher suggested in the fall that we have him evaluated for Asperger's, and at the time DH didn't know what it was or how it differed from full autism. Sheldon was the first example I gave him.
 
Since you mentioned Sheldon from Big Bang Theory I thought I would jump in with this story. I've spent most of my adult life hanging out with men in the computer/IT field. I would guess some of these gentlemen are somewhere on the spectrum even though I don't know that for sure. I know one could barely speak to me when I had to report a machine malfunction and the more "social" gentleman was out of the office. I'm not sure I even heard him say 5 words. But he was smart and had multiple college degrees.

That being said, I would have to say that for the most part these groups of men help others in their group who have more difficulties socially and are quite forgiving when one might violate typical social cues (especially etiquette). They also speak very directly with each other to 'help" them if they are violating a social cue if they think it needs to be addressed. They are also encouraging and in different IT departments I've noticed that usually they will include others in social activities outside the office.

If it were my child and he showed an interest in science, math or computers I would encourage whatever natural interest he had because I've observed the computer guys be quite accepting and inclusive. I would definitely let him find his own interests but it might help in finding him friends.

Oh, and as far as athletics I know some of these men enjoy martial arts, running, individual athletics over team sports.

Of course, every person is individual. It will be fun to see how Avery finds what he likes to do and what gifts he can share with the world. I'm so happy to hear that he is more at peace at home and that things go more smoothly. Hopefully the diagnosis will also mean that the school will be more understanding.
 
nikkiARNGwife said:
The worst part of this for me is seeing how other kids react to him. Like on the playground when all the other boys are wanting to play football or something..he wants to pretend he's Super Mario and he doesn't understand why they think that's weird. And then of course they'll pick on him..which really upsets me..b/c he doesn't understand why they'll pick on him.
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OMGosh, that makes my heart so sad! I wish Jack went to his school and could play Super Mario wtih him. : ( They'd make great friends.

You have sucha great attitude about his diagnosis, and he's blessed to have you for a mom!
 
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