she's a brat

My first thought was that you need to get her in preschool or Mom's Day Out or something. Sometimes there's not a whole lot you as a parent can do to change her behavior towards other children (especially when it's in your home), but put her with some other 4 year olds and she'll quickly discover that being mean to other kids gets her nowhere. In fact, the other kids won't play with her if she's mean or rude, so she won't have friends. As a pre-K teacher, you can just tell those kids who are going to have a rough time for a little bit because they are used to thinking the world revolves around them... and quickly discover that it doesn't. I always tell parents that it's not their fault. There's only so much you can do at home to work with social skills. Sometimes a child just needs to get away from the family unit and become their own person in order to learn.
 
well, she does go to preschool. she did anyway, we're on summer break now. her teacher has told me numerous times that she's an 'angel' at school. we're friends from high school and she thinks it's so funny when i say stuff about her because she won't believe me. i'm definitely going to try positive reinforcement with her as well as making sure when the girls go home that i'm spending more time with her. she may just be having a hard time adjusting to summer break as well....
 
well, she does go to preschool. she did anyway, we're on summer break now. her teacher has told me numerous times that she's an 'angel' at school. we're friends from high school and she thinks it's so funny when i say stuff about her because she won't believe me. i'm definitely going to try positive reinforcement with her as well as making sure when the girls go home that i'm spending more time with her. she may just be having a hard time adjusting to summer break as well....

Ah... she's one of those kids. I love those kids that are angels at school and terrors at home. It might also be point of view -- when you've got a bunch of kids, a little bit of misbehavior isn't your biggest problem. At home, it's your only problem... ya know?
 
My daughter hit a real 'pill' of a stage at age 4 too. She was the absolute perfect child before that, never creating a problem or getting in trouble for any reason. Four was super hard for us for that reason. Anyway, for us what worked was to not really play up what she had done. We simply told her it was wrong and why it was wrong and we took away her Buddy Bear. Buddy Bear was, and still is, her best friend. To this day (almost 10 years old) she doesn't want to sleep without Buddy. Taking Buddy away was the perfect punishment. We told her 'you know, Buddy does what you do and we don't want him to kick/hit/bite anyone so he has to sit in time out and learn its not okay'. We would sit him on top of the entertainment center where she could see him but not reach him. It was a good reminder to her as the day went on that she had gotten in trouble and lost the privileged of having her friend. To this day taking something away works better with her than yelling at her or reprimanding, etc. Now, instead of taking Buddy away we take away her privilege of reading before bed. Tell this girl she can't read and its like the ultimate punishment, worse than missing out on a special treat or event!
 
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