RQOTD: What You Do VS Him (or them)

This thread is really interesting. It is always fascinating for me to see how others' households work. I think that is part of why I like to watch shows like Wife Swap sometimes. My friends always tell me they do everything but I never really know if they are just frustrated and exaggerating or if they honestly do it all. What really amazes my friends (based on their words and reactions) is that my DH is so hands on with the kids. He never missed a prenatal appointment when I was pregnant with them. He never missed a doctor's appointment when they were little. He still goes pretty much every time unless it is just impossible for him. He never misses an open house or parent conference or awards assembly. I think he's only missed one school party so far (I missed 2 of my daughter's last year that he went to because I was working during that time). He goes to all of their games and all of their practices. He goes to every scout meeting with DS. Any kind of family activity through the school or sports, etc. we both go to. DH is usually one of the few dads at these things. Heck, he has even gone to several PTO meetings with me. He's pretty awesome. His mom raised him right! And... he CAN cook and clean and shop and pay bills and do all of that on his own if he had to. He just prefers to let someone else do it. ;)
 
I have no one to help me. I bring home the money, do all the housework and everything else. ;) I do get somewhat of breaks though. My mom and step-dad take my son 2-3 weekends a month because I work weekends and there isn't weekend daycare here, but they live 200 miles away, so I have to drive to the half way point to meet them every weekend.
 
Paying Bills & Finances: him
Taking out the garbage: supposed to be him, often me
Cooking: 75/25 me; he grills and makes his own breakfast pretty often
Cleaning: mostly me...I try to make him do the mopping
Laundry: I wash/dry all; I put up mine and Rachel's; DH puts his up after they've sat in the basket for a month LOL
Clothing Shopping: I shop for me and Rachel; DH shops for himself
Dishes: me
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): me
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): me
Errands: Me
Grocery Shopping: me
Car Maintenance: him
Tending the yard: him
Fixing things around the house: him
Walking the dog: me
Feeding the pets: me, and sometimes Rachel
Cleaning the litter boxes: me, unless I tell DH to do it
 
lovely1m said:
I have no one to help me. I bring home the money, do all the housework and everything else. ;) I do get somewhat of breaks though. My mom and step-dad take my son 2-3 weekends a month because I work weekends and there isn't weekend daycare here, but they live 200 miles away, so I have to drive to the half way point to meet them every weekend.
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This is me, minus someone to take Cheyanne on any weekend. I do it all and got used to it over the years due to deployments.

I made darn sure that my son knew how to run a household before he left home too - he does 90% of the cooking in his household now and his wife has told me numerous times how grateful she is that he knows how to do all housework and can cook :D
 
i'm really lucky that i get to stay home with my girls but my husband works his tail off to support us. he's working full-time right now & also going to school full-time so he doesn't do much at home. i find it hard during school breaks when he doesn't immediately hop up & help but we usually work it out. with that, i do everything. the only thing that he KNOWS he HAS to do is take out the garbage. that's also usually when it's overflowing ;) when he is home i'd much rather he spend time with our girls instead of helping with cleaning.

Paying Bills & Finances: me
Taking out the garbage: him
Cooking: me
Cleaning: Me
Laundry: Me
Clothing Shopping: Me with him usually (we have one car so we almost always run errands to gether & shop together)
Dishes: Me & i despise it.
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): Me
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): 80% Me
Errands: together
Grocery Shopping: together with occasional moments of me going after the kids are in bed on the weekends.
Car Maintenance: him, if he's actually fixing something. mostly me if it's getting the oil changed
Tending the yard: 0-we live in a condo. since i'm HOA president, i probably tend more than anyone else though lol
Fixing things around the house: 50/50

there's so many times when i get frustrated with the monotony of it but i'm really thankful that i can stay home. it's a huge sacrifice on both of us but we wouldn't have it any other way.
 
My hubby is a wonderful provider and works very hard to give us such a great life and me the ability to stay home with our girls. Unfortunately, he's not home as often as we both would like.

Paying Bills & Finances: Me
Taking out the garbage: 95% Him (unless he's gone)
Cooking: Me
Cleaning: Me
Laundry: Me
Clothing Shopping: Me
Dishes: Me (he is always willing to help with the dinner dishes)
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): Ours are older so they do this themselves
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): 95% Me
Errands: Me
Grocery Shopping: Me
Car Maintenance: Him (unless he's gone)
Tending the yard: Him (unless he's gone)
Fixing things around the house: Him (unless he's gone)
Packing lunches & taking kids to school: Me

My husband is on mission more than half the year, every year so when he's gone, everything falls on me.
 
I do mostly everything around here, but he works extremely hard (average of 50 hours a week, every week and has been going away M-F for the last 5 weeks and is now gone away for 3 weeks straight). I just stay at home all day anyway, so what else would I do? Although sometimes it'd be nice to have some "me" time, besides the days the girls are at school and I'm by myself.

Paying Bills & Finances: Me
Taking out the garbage: Me
Cooking: Me
Cleaning: Me
Laundry: Me
Clothing Shopping: Me
Dishes: Me
Making kids lunches: Me
School meetings & activities: Me
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): Me
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): 90% Me
Errands: Me
Grocery Shopping: Me
Car Maintenance: Me
Tending the yard: 50% Him
Fixing things around the house: Him
Doing the smelly stuff like cleaning the cat litter and dealing with the compost: Me
 
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When the kids were littler and all 3 were home with me almost all the time, DH was better about pitching in. Now that 2 are in school full days he does a lot less. During the week I'm fine with that because he's gone from 7 am until 6 or 7 pm, but on the weekends it bothers me.

Like today--I was literally busy with the kids, housework, DA's birthday party, and storm preparation from the time I got out of bed (30 min before DH) until I finished the younger kids' bedtime. DH helped out more than usual today because of the party, but throughout the day he spent about 2-3 hours laying on the couch watching football. I would have liked some time to sit and relax too!

Paying Bills & Finances: Him
Taking out the garbage: 90% Him
Cooking: Me
Cleaning: Me
Laundry: I do me and the 3 kids. He does his own.
Clothing Shopping: Me
Dishes: Me
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): 90% Me (DH and I do bedtime togther, since that's the only time he sees the kids during the week)
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): 80% Me (Weekdays 90% me, weekends 70% me. DH would disagree, though.)
Errands: Me
Grocery Shopping: Me
Car Maintenance: 90% Me (assuming we mean taking the car to the mechanic, renewing registration, etc. Neither of us does any car work ourselves)
Tending the yard: The mowing company
Fixing things around the house: 40% him (changing light bulbs, putting together things that need assembly), 10% me, 50% me hiring someone
Keeping on top of DS's therapies, researching (medical decisions, new purchases, etc), making appointments, etc: 95% me
 
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SirScrapalot said:
ok, so here it is from my side...



DW checked this over and approves
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Ha, ha love that she checked it over and approves! You are the perfect husband Aaron!

I prefer not to even think about this because at least once a week I have dreams about running away from this crazy place so I don't have to deal with everything that has to be done.

My husband works two jobs so he comes home from Job #1, eats dinner (that I prepared) and then goes straight to teaching online and then sometimes does overtime for Job #1. I've had to learn over the past year that if I ask him to help he will stop and help me, but he will never just do a job because it needs to be done.

That means I quarterback the house and our family, plus I work full time which can be 40-50 hours a week. I make sure it gets all done. I've learned to delegate things out to the kids and my husband as appropriate keeping in mind who is capable of doing what (no one in this house can mop but me - I think they conspire and do a poor job so that I'm stuck doing it btw.)

I think household responsibiliites are something you have to constantly adjust and it never hurts to ask for help from your spouse and your kids. If you teach your kids how to do jobs for themself then when they go off to college they will be well adjusted adults that can do things for themselves vs calling home for help with every little thing (at least that's my theory and I'm sticking with it!).

I'll often go through my to do list verbally with my husband so he knows what I'm doing (out of site out of mind). I found that this helps him understand when I'm passed out on the couch at 9:45 versus waiting for him to go to bed at 11 - midnight.
 
Paying Bills & Finances: He makes the money but I handle the bills
Taking out the garbage: Him
Cooking: Me mostly but he does sometimes
Cleaning: Neither...LOL No really....We both do it but I do most of it (I wish he would take over the bathrooms)
Laundry: Mostly him but he doesn't put anything away...he washes and I fold and put away. He normally does this late at night when everyone else is sleeping so I have a huge pile of clothes in the AM to fold and put away.
Clothing Shopping: Me
Dishes: Me (but he usually does it on weekends but I don't LOL)
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): Both of us...one of us takes Little D and the other takes the two boys.
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): Mostly Me...he does take them to soccer practice
Errands: Mostly me...just depends what the errand is.
Grocery Shopping: Mostly him...he wants to get out of the house! And he does better than me with sticking to the list.
Car Maintenance: I handle all the maintence of the vehicles....he will wash them though
Tending the yard: Him
Fixing things around the house: Him (depends what it is though...I will do some stuff)

We share a lot of responsibility. I do all the day to day stuff with the kids schedules though...he doesn't have a clue when doctor's appointments or other things are. DH had to ask me how much our mortgage was b/c he didn't have a clue.....I wish I could forget about the bills!!!
 
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First let me say, I have worked from home (for outside companies) the entire time I have had kids (except for about 11 months after the twins were born), with no additional childcare help. DH started pitching in a lot more when the twins were born and he does still, but it's been hard with 4 kids.

Paying Bills & Finances: Me
Taking out the garbage and recycling: My sons
Cooking and dishes: Me (unless grilling, then him)
Cleaning: Me
Laundry: Me, except about 6 months ago DH decided to start doing his own
Clothing Shopping: Me
Dishes: Me
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed) : N/A as they are older.
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): Me
Kids - all school and sports related stuff: Me except when DH is the coach
Kids - appointments, activities, etc. - Me
Volunteering (alone and with the kids): Me
Errands: Me
Grocery Shopping: Me, but he will go when I ask him and he sometimes comes home with supplies of snack/lunch stuff
Car Maintenance: I deal with the taking to the shop, but if it's a battery or something small, he does it.
Tending the yard: Him
Fixing things around the house: Him

And I have to add, DOG: ME!! I get up with the puppy every morning and even when the rest of the family is home, I make sure he is taken care of. Stupid, stupid me for getting a puppy right when my life was finally starting to be my own again as my boys get older. :cursing:
 
Paying Bills & Finances: me. I'm the only one who works and I write out all the bills/manage finances (I have to tell him NO a lot, he wants to spend spend spend!)
Taking out the garbage: I empty the bins, he brings them out
Cooking: 50/50 BF and lunch, dinner usually me
Cleaning: me
Laundry: him 70%, me 30%
Shopping: Me
Dishes: 70% him, 30% me
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): 50/50
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): 50/50
Grocery Shopping: me
Car Maintenance: me and auto mechanic
Tending the yard: mostly me (he picks up the dog poop once in a great while, lol) but I garden
Fixing things around the house: regular maintenance is me, if we have a DIY project it's 50/50
planning birthdays, holidays, gifts: me

I run TWO businesses and do so much around the house. I keep telling him he NEEDS to go back to work so I don't have to work so dang hard. It's not that he can't work or can't find work, he just doesn't want to work.... Will he ever go back? ... hmm.. :glare:
 
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Interesting thread! :)

I have it pretty good too - I work at home and my hubby works out of the house but has a longer commute since we've moved so I'm finding I'm doing more stuff in general... But for the most part he's a great help and I don't know how I'd do it without him :)

Paying Bills & Finances: Me
Taking out the garbage: 50/50
Cooking: Me
Cleaning: Me (mostly - he does help when he can)
Laundry: Me
Clothing Shopping: Me (I don't mind that though LOL)
Dishes: Me (most of the time, but again he does help)
Kids (bathing, dressing, putting to bed): Him most of the time
Kids (parenting, discipline, counsel, etc.): 50/50 mostly
Errands: Me
Grocery Shopping: Probably 50/50 Split (we have our grocery store up the road so we go up each day to buy the makings for dinner etc)
Car Maintenance: him
Tending the yard: Him
Fixing things around the house: Him mostly
planning all outings, holidays, gifts: Me
Dogs: Him
 
nikkiARNGwife said:
I do everything..well I have for the past year b/c he's been deployed but even when he's home I do it all. Even car maintenance and yard work. If I specifically tell him to do something he usually will but if I want it done quickly, (and let's face it correctly) then I just do it myself.

He works long and hard every day, but everything else is my job.
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This is me for the past month. Even when he isn't I typically do it all.
Though I have raised my kids to help a lot. They clean a lot, do their own laundry, and help with the trash/recycling. But the biggest thing is they pick up after themselves. They help me a lot and that makes a lot of difference in how I feel about doing it all. :)
 
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