NSBR: My 1st grader hates school

L

Laura_A

New member
We're having a really tough time right now. School started on the 25th and Regan, my 6-year-old did great for the 1st 2 days and then started with the excuses why she couldn't go to school. This week it's been horrible. She's stressing herself so bad. She starts getting upset the night before when she has school the next day. The morning of there's lots of crying and begging for me to either go with her or let her stay home. Today I went to have lunch with her thinking that would help and it did help get her off to school, but my heart about broke when it was time to leave after lunch. She was so sad.. trying not to cry but her little chin quivering.

Here's a little background... this is a brand new school for us. We moved over the summer but just to another base in the area, so there are a few kids at school she's familiar with. All the teachers and the school itself are completely new to her though. She ADORED her kindergarten teacher so to have all that changed is making it so hard. Plus, I don't know if her new teacher is the kindest lady. During lunch she was constantly nagging the kids about the rules. Regan is VERY sensitive, so I'm sure it kills her if she gets 'talked to' even a little.

So, any advice for me? It's all I can do to not keep her home with me when she's so sad. What kinds of things can I do to make the transition easier for her? Will it get better? :unsure: TIA!
 
I'm no expert but I think she will get through it. Its just new teacher, new school and she just needs time to adjust. She will see soon that things aren't so bad.

I tell Haley all the time that even if the teacher is yelling, as long as she isn't yelling at you then don't worry about it.

{{Hugs}} I hope she starts to enjoy school because I know its not easy on mommy.
 
awww.that's tough. 1st grade was tough for us too - lots of crying and stomache aches. I don't have any advice, but I hope it gets better soon:)
 
My daughter isnt a huge fan of first grade either. She LOVED kindergarten but this year just isnt a fan of her teacher and says that its very boring. Its a huge transition for Lily as in they are going full day now and I know its a really long day for her. I hope it gets better sweety! Hugs!
 
Have you talked with your daughter in depth to see if there might be any other reason, besides the new school, why your daughter might be having a hard time? My DD was miserable her first few months of kindergarten last year, also asking to stay home or crying when we got to the school. In her case, the reason was two-fold. The first reason was because there was a girl at her table who was constantly making fun of her. It took a while for me to figure this out but once I did, I wrote to the teacher about it and she moved my DD to another table and that pretty much solved that problem (other than one other incident but that's another story) The second reason was because my DD didn't have any good friends. She was liked by most of the kids but her interests were different from them (she liked science while most of the girls in the class was into things like princesses, Hannah Montana, etc) As a result, my DD ended up hanging around the teacher a lot. It took the teacher some time but eventually, she was able to "match up" my DD with another little girl in her class and they hit it off wonderfully and that was the end of the "I don't want to go to school" cries.

The thing is, my DD never told me she didn't want to go to school because of the girl who was teasing her or because she had no good friends. These were just things that the teacher and I both had to work on solving for her and then she was fine.

Another thought is that if it's a new school for your DD, could you maybe try to arrange a playdate or two for your DD with one or two of her classmates? If your DD could make a connection to at least one person in her class, that might help a lot, too.

Just some thoughts.

Helen
 
There could be something going on that she's not talking about yet. Hopefully she is not getting picked on or anything mean like that, but you might want to sit and ask her about the other kids at school? We are in a new school this year too, 2nd grade. My daughter was giving us the fake cough already on Tuesday and she's trying to get out of going about every other day. She's bored and hasn't made friends with any of the little girls yet. She does have two little boys she eats lunch with so I think that's keeping her from throwing some serious fits about now wanting to go. Give it some time. I bet in a couple weeks she'll be much better with it. (((HUGS)))
 
I have SO been there laura! After enjoying K, Nathan got the kind of "loud,harsh" teacher that they unofficially (I can't prove it) put the kids in her class if they need a nudge to catch up in an area. Between the transition to all day school, and their personality differences (Nathan is also very sensitive), he spent much of the first week in the guidance counselor's office. I didn't realize how bad the year really was until we got a fantastic second grade teacher and Nathan totally excelled and caught up in every area he was behind in. Utilize the guidance counselor for transition tips and just be there for her...this will get better!
 
If my grandbaby is that upset, I would ask for another teacher. Something has happened in that classroom to cause her to be this way. I know that moving and going to a new school can be pretty dramatic, but this is beyond dramatic. My gut tells me its that teacher and she needs to be put in a different classroom. If that is at all possible. My poor baby.
 
I'm so sorry for you guys! I know that as a mom that has to be killing you! I did that to my parents in first grade...new school..man teacher...and I was "sick" every Monday morning for a couple of months, but then I would miraculously feel better at 9 or 10 in the morning. Dad would drag me to school. I remember being miserable, but it didn't last. It will get better!
 
Mason's already telling me he's sick and doesn't want to go to school, too...but it's the same school he had last year and 15 of the 18 other kids in his class were with him last year. I think he's just finding it overwhelming to go to school all day every day (for kindergarten, he was full day 3x week). I keep sending him, and he's happy when he gets home, but every morning it's the same thing. :(

I hope it works out for you, though!
 
Benjamin did the screaming/crying/holding onto the door frame when he was in kindergarten. After 4 days or so, he got much better, and was fine after that. It was just the transition of being home with me all the time to being away from me every day, was more than he could handle for the first bit.

I'm sorry she's having such a hard time. ((hugs))
 
I took her for some special mommy & Regan time this evening. We went for ice cream and then I let her pick a little stuffed animal that she could hide in her backpack. I'm going to ask her teacher to let her sneak out and hug it if she's feeling sad. She seems to be ok so far tonight and we've been talking on and off about tomorrow with no tears... so we'll see. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks SO much for all the suggestions and hugs. It's so nice to have such a great mommy resource.
 
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