Need Advice....

nun69

nun69

New member
so I think most of you know that Peyton has been diagnosed with Asperger's....

well my oldest DD moved out about 3 weeks ago and he and his sister are going to my girlfriends house in the mornings and then getting on the bus (she has 2 boys that are Abby & Peyton's age)....so I took him to his dr's appt today (the psychiatrist) and he was just OFF THE WALL...LIKE ABNORMALLY OFF THE WALL.....cussing, screaming, etc....so the doc decided to increase his meds and start giving him another medication in the morning with it....then he screamed and cussed and yelled at me all the way home, cussing, taking his shorts, underwear off all because I told him he couldn't have mcdonalds because he didn't behave...

well I texted my GF to let her know this and she texted me back basically saying that she is concerned about his bad language so much in the mornings with the other kids and they are very strict about not using that kind of language and she is concerned that if he is there all day during the summer it will be even worse...she stated that if he doesn't get any better with the language, then maybe I will have to find somebody more permanent to watch him....

how do I help him? I don't have ANYBODY else that can watch him and my DH & I can NOT afford to quit our jobs :( I am sooo at a loss and have no idea what to do.....if one of us has to quit our job, we will not be able to afford our house and then I have no idea what we would do :( soooooo at a loss and feeling completely depressed and helpless cause I have no direction on where to even start to find somebody to watch him :(

sorry for the rambling, but if you made it this far :wub::wub::wub:
 
Aw Angie, that's gotta be so tough. I don't have any advice, sorry. I will send prayers though, that the increase in medication works, and that things settle down. Hugs.
 
((Hugs)) I hope you're able to help him with his language and your friend is able to watch him this summer. I think finding good childcare is always tough, and it's so much harder when you have the complication of special needs, too. We just found out that Ben has Smith-Magenis Syndrome (it's the cause of his high functioning autism, ADHD, sleep disorder, and other motor and speech diagnoses), and I'm already worrying about whether we'll be able to work it out over the summers when I go back to work in a couple of years.

I haven't used it yet, but I heard or read a recommendation for the Care.com site somewhere. Their list of providers includes caregivers and babysitters who have experience with special needs kids. Also, are there any private schools near you that are autism-specific? Some of them do a summer camp program that is open to kids who don't attend the school during the year.

Good luck!
 
Last edited:
I already looked for summer camp for autism specific needs and there is nothing close by where we live or even near between where we live and where my DH works (about 30 miles from where we live).....I even asked the girls that are going to be running the program at the school he is going to (class for behavioral and special needs kids) and they didn't even have any recommendations :(
 
nun69 said:
I already looked for summer camp for autism specific needs and there is nothing close by where we live or even near between where we live and where my DH works (about 30 miles from where we live).....I even asked the girls that are going to be running the program at the school he is going to (class for behavioral and special needs kids) and they didn't even have any recommendations :(
Click to expand...

Hmm...are there any parent support groups for special needs kids in your area? Sometimes the parents know a lot more about summer options than the teachers. Or maybe there are some parents in your area on My Autism Team that can give advice.

Would any of the teachers or aides in his new school program be interested in babysitting for you over the summer?
 
Last edited:
Hope you are able to find something that works for you guys :( Depending on budget, maybe even put an ad out for a university student that could help out during the summer? You might even find someone that is specializing in special needs education or something that would love the the opportunity to work one on one with Peyton.
 
Jenn that is a great idea!!!! I'll have to see what I can come up with and where to post it....hopefully the situation will calm down some with the change in his meds and his dad and I had a pretty good talk with him about using his "potty mouth" over at Yaneth's was unacceptable.....so we will keep reminding him morning and night that it is unacceptable and hopefully it will sink in....
 
My heart goes out to you. Where we live there are two great summer programs for kids with autism (day-camp type programs with field trips, etc.). I know we're blessed to have those programs. I live in Kansas, so things may differ from state to state, but we have case managers that will help a family qualify for respite care and then those respite care providers are essentially babysitters that have experience with special needs. We have multiple agencies here in KS that provide case management. Maybe you could check into something like that... it's probably going to be an issue that comes up over and over again, especially as he gets older.
 
i can ask my fiance if he knows of anything. he's got aspergers, and was out there when he was diagnosed. his mom is a social worker in mount vernon. i can also ask her if you like? she'd probably know of way more resources than he will.
 
Oh, Angie, I am so sorry hun. Have you looked into state help... like day workers or something that can be given through a state service... I dont mean like welfare or anything like, but maybe there is some local program that can either come in and help or has a center for daycare for kids who have special needs and need more help. ... if that makes sense?
 
I am so sorry, Angie. I think the important thing is consistency. Someone to care for him who really LOVES him and he knows it. And, perhaps I am not in the majority, but if this was my situation my instinct would be to seriously consider the possibility of quitting my job and yes... selling the house and downsizing. In the bigger picture of life, a house is just a house. People are more important. So, if nothing else seems to work it might be the best choice. For the sake of his development and well-being, and the peace & well-being of my family in general. Sometimes the path of the most resistance is the right one.

With that being said, I understand that might not even be an option for you. But... maybe consider it? ((HUGS)) Just praying you all will find the best solution for Peyton & your family.
 
Oh Angie so sorry lots of (((HUGS))).

First off get involved with a Parent Advocacy group. I just recently joined up with one here in my area and they have been wonderful in helping me fight for services for Chrismari and also what I qualify for. They have been an amazing help and I have so much more knowledge on my side which helps sooo much. That said a friend of mine actually gets welfare/financial support because she had to quit her job (She was a professor) too look after her autistic son. She has an amazing case worker and if you want I can contact her and find out more for you, I know we are in different states but she might know of a group that is in your area. Its not easy but as Brook said maybe it can be an option for you. :hugs:
 
(hugs) I don't have any suggestions, and it sounds like you got some good ones - I hope you find something that will work, be it the increase in meds, or a new care plan. I'll be thinking of you - I hope something works out for you!
 
Jenn Barrette said:
Hope you are able to find something that works for you guys :( Depending on budget, maybe even put an ad out for a university student that could help out during the summer? You might even find someone that is specializing in special needs education or something that would love the the opportunity to work one on one with Peyton.
Click to expand...

I was going to suggest SVCC...there are so many college kids in that town...there must be some who've stuck around over the summer?

Good luck!
 
I just want to offer some hugs. I imagine his sister moving out and changes to his routine have created some of your setbacks/outbursts as well. here is hoping you can find someone who is willing to work and help him grow <3
 
I don't have any advice but hope you find a solution that works out for all of you and sending you (((hugs)))
 
thanks girls and he had his psychiatry appt yesterday and the doc actually got to see him while he had one of his "meltdown" out of control, bounce off the wall episodes! (which ironically he has not done in front of the doctor before!)....his potty mouth is getting worse and some of his mood swings are just unbelievable...so we are going to try adding a medication in the morning and see how that works out for him today. My daycare (Yaneth) actually said this afternoon that things were going really well and then he asked to play a game cause he had been good, but as soon as something didn't go his way in the game he started throwing things, cussing, yelling and so she turned it off and made him sit in his little time out corner (which he does NOT like) ! And when I picked him up he said 1st thing "Mom I didn't do good, I wasn't a good boy"...and Yaneth told me what happened so he is now realizing those actions have consequences, which he didn't before.

I joined a MB that Rachel recommended and just in 2 days I have found tons of information and have learned I am TOTALLY not ALONE...which makes me feel so much better....

I just really need the summer daycare thing to work out for him where it is just him and Abby and the other 2 boys, because he will NOT do well in a bigger environment and he does NOT do change well, which may be why he is "pushing" Yaneth to her limit thinking that if he does I will stay home with him all day or his sister will move back home. ......just frustrating and tiring and some days I wonder if I am going to make it out of the bed!

so thanks for the advice and listening to me girls ♥

Mari that would be fabulous if you can contact your friends social worker and maybe if she could even just give me some guidance with a phone number, a website, an email address, anything :)
 
and we have talked about moving, but my DH was talking about moving clearly across the US to VA LOL!!!!! I am not sure what we will end up having to do, our house is only 3 years old and I know we could never sell it for what we owe on it, but I know it is an option.....I just love living here and it truly is the 1st place my kids have called "home" after traveling with the Navy the last 20 years.....plus the consistency is so good for Peyton....
 
Angie, my heart hurts for you so much. What a terrible thing to watch your child struggle like that and feel so out of control. I hope you find a good solution and one that will benefit Peyton as well.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2026 XenForo Ltd.
Back
Top