Everything he is telling you is BS, Corey. Grown responsible men who are husbands do not need to live alone, do not kick their wife & children out of the family home, & do not treat their wives with disrespect. You need to realize and know that.
I also think he decided a long long time ago that he 'needs' this separation and nothing you say or do will prevent it from happening. Though he may put it off later than the new year and/or seem to hedge on whether it's necessary, he has already mentally decided that that is his Happily Ever After and that everything will be perfect & wonderful & amazing again if he could only live on his own for awhile. We all know how deluded he is on so many levels. Thinking about being separated is how he is able to deny responsiblity for the problems he is causing today as well as cope with those same problems on a daily basis.
There is a big black hole inside of him, Corey, that continues to grow and grow, and nothing but his own determination and insight and emotional work is going to fill up that hole.
You need to meet with an attorney ASAP. I know you do not want to get divorced, BUT you cannot expect a mentally ill man to keep his promises and especially not one who wants to live by himself and, therefore, make it impossible for you to keep him accountable on a daily basis. No matter what he says today or tomorrow or the next, if you do not have him legally bound to paying you child support, there will be a day when he goes off his meds (will he really take them regularly when you are not living together?!) and decide you don't need his money anymore or that you are being a bad person/mother for doing X, Y, or Z or simply decide he doesn't owe you anything.
On a 'positive' note, since I believe he is truly incapable of holding down a job, it will be easy for you to pin down child support since his money comes from the government. It will be easy for your attorney to file with the VA and get money withheld from his checks and come directly to you.
It is ridiculous for you to move out of the house, and you should not do it since you are the one who will be taking care of the children.
I am most concerned abt your high car payment. I'm not sure what you could do with that aside from being able to turn it in somewhere up there doing one of their special promotions that they pay off your remaining loan in order for you to get another car, but if you know anyone up there who works for a car lot or might even, as crazy as it sounds, 'trade' you cars temporarily so that they take on your payment and you take on theirs, it would behoove you to look into that.
I hate to say it, Corey, but I truly believe your DH is headed for a mental breakdown and will 'push' himself into doing so if he does not have you as his enabler and support system living with him. You MUST put things into place so that you and your children will be taken care of during this time WITHOUT relying on him and his empty promises and fragile mental state.
