junebug
New member
is starting to fall apart at the seams. Sorry if my posts are depressing or annoying, lol.
Most of you know the crap we've been going through, with me trying to find a job, and DH having PTSD and just trying to deal with that. He's been taking his meds. but its like after awhile they just don't work as effectively. So i don't know if this is just his depression talking, or if he's really serious this time. but he is thinking sometime after the first of the year he wants to do a trial seperation.:crying: He feels like he needs to work some things out on his own and it would be for the best if the kids and I weren't here. He's still help me out obviously, even with our car payment, since as he said, its his debt too. he'd help me look into low income housing around here, and help me move and get settled and watch the kids when i found work, and that he wants us to just take things slow, kinda start to 'date' each other again. He says it's really not me, its him (cliche, huh?) and that maybe after awhile we can move back in together again, but he's not sure. he says he still loves our kids and just doesn't feel like he's as in love with me as he used to be.
that he doesn't feel like he gets the affection that he used to from me. that may be because of the way he freaking talks to me sometimes. would you want to be really affectionate with someone who disrespected you? and its not like i don't give him any. Geez, how much does he want? we have 3 kids, sorry if my attentions are a little less than before the kids. we sit and watch tv together and cuddle and occasionally hold hands when we're out together so i don't know what the hell he wants from me. i did tell him that i hope he doesn't go and get someone else, even if we are legally seperated. he says not to worry because he wants to be alone and that like he said, we'll still do things together he just wants to live alone for awhile. i hope i can trust him. it would kill me if i found out he brought someone else home. i know i won't be looking for anyone else.
part of me understands; there really is nothing that i can do to make him better. i have been here for him but thats apparently not enough. i hope that maybe we never even have this happen, but only time will tell, since it's not happening immediately.
i'm going to just take things a day at a time and hope i can find work, cause if i'm to be out on my own, i'm going to need $$.
maybe i need to get in touch with my friend, Amanda. she's the only friend i know that lives near me. we just don't talk much. and she is on low income housing herself with her son, so she may be able to point me in the right direction.
thanks for reading this. i just needed to get this out.
Most of you know the crap we've been going through, with me trying to find a job, and DH having PTSD and just trying to deal with that. He's been taking his meds. but its like after awhile they just don't work as effectively. So i don't know if this is just his depression talking, or if he's really serious this time. but he is thinking sometime after the first of the year he wants to do a trial seperation.:crying: He feels like he needs to work some things out on his own and it would be for the best if the kids and I weren't here. He's still help me out obviously, even with our car payment, since as he said, its his debt too. he'd help me look into low income housing around here, and help me move and get settled and watch the kids when i found work, and that he wants us to just take things slow, kinda start to 'date' each other again. He says it's really not me, its him (cliche, huh?) and that maybe after awhile we can move back in together again, but he's not sure. he says he still loves our kids and just doesn't feel like he's as in love with me as he used to be.
that he doesn't feel like he gets the affection that he used to from me. that may be because of the way he freaking talks to me sometimes. would you want to be really affectionate with someone who disrespected you? and its not like i don't give him any. Geez, how much does he want? we have 3 kids, sorry if my attentions are a little less than before the kids. we sit and watch tv together and cuddle and occasionally hold hands when we're out together so i don't know what the hell he wants from me. i did tell him that i hope he doesn't go and get someone else, even if we are legally seperated. he says not to worry because he wants to be alone and that like he said, we'll still do things together he just wants to live alone for awhile. i hope i can trust him. it would kill me if i found out he brought someone else home. i know i won't be looking for anyone else.part of me understands; there really is nothing that i can do to make him better. i have been here for him but thats apparently not enough. i hope that maybe we never even have this happen, but only time will tell, since it's not happening immediately.
i'm going to just take things a day at a time and hope i can find work, cause if i'm to be out on my own, i'm going to need $$.
maybe i need to get in touch with my friend, Amanda. she's the only friend i know that lives near me. we just don't talk much. and she is on low income housing herself with her son, so she may be able to point me in the right direction.
thanks for reading this. i just needed to get this out.
