Jengerbread88
New member
...I've been in college for 5 years now, with 2 more to go, and all I really want to do is be a mom and housewife.
What's yours?
What's yours?
My dirty little secret is...
- Thread starter Jengerbread88
- Start date
kristijoy
New member
I had that same secret!!! I have a Master's Degree and worked outside the home for 10 or 12 years. It wasn't until I was 37 that I had my son. When he was born, I knew that being the SAHM was going to fullfil what I had really been longing for!
My Dad even came to me after my son was born opened his heart, and said a bunch of kind things about how all he wanted me to be was happy. And was always worried I had done all that school just to please him. He wanted me to know that he loved me in whatever roll I chose. I was speecheless.
Hang in there. The right thing will come along. And believe it our not, the fact that you went through college and made it through WILL be important!!
My Dad even came to me after my son was born opened his heart, and said a bunch of kind things about how all he wanted me to be was happy. And was always worried I had done all that school just to please him. He wanted me to know that he loved me in whatever roll I chose. I was speecheless.
Hang in there. The right thing will come along. And believe it our not, the fact that you went through college and made it through WILL be important!!
Davita
New member
Wow, Kristi, that sounds so similar to my story. I have an MA and a school psych credential that I went after mainly because I thought that would make my mom happy. In all honesty, it took me quite awhile to find a good man as well. I met him in graduate school and when he talked about having kids I kept saying that I needed to focus on my career. But...in my heart, like you I had that same secret. I had always wanted to be a SAHM with a house full of kids. Finally, after working for over 10 years and as my 30's came to an end, I realized that I would never be happy without children. I was going to go back to work but after my dd was born, I just could not leave her. Once the boys arrived, it was too hard to find daycare for all 3, lol!
I agree that it will be good for you to have your education and I also hope that all of your dreams come true!
scrapsandsass
New member
I'm just finishing my MFA and wish I could keep going to school forever. I love it. I just have no idea what I should do now. :blink:
Jengerbread88
New member
I want to close my daycare. Now.
My mom did daycare for 15 years. Her doctor said she had to take 6 months off for her rotator cuff surgery, so she quit and now works full time finding homes for exchange students. Sometimes she misses it and wishes she could take one or two kids to watch, but she definitely doesn't want to go back to the whole 10 kids thing!
Jengerbread88
New member
I feel the same way. Can I just stay in school forever? I took 4 years to get an associates' degree, because I knew when I got a degree everyone would expect me to get a job. I just kept changing majors and taking classes... after I got my AA, I decided to go for a BA in Fashion. And part of me still wishes I had spent time studying photography or creative writing.
I'm thinking what I might do is take some of the continuing education (no credit) classes from our junior college. They're usually only like $50 each, and they have everything from cooking to ballroom dancing to math and writing... I may do it just to get out of the house once a week until I figure out what I'm doing with my life!
Lauramarie
Member
I got my BS and now I have to pay back the money that they loaned me to get it. But I now am a SAHM and never want to work again, at least not in corporate america. Been there done that and not really into the drama anymore.
I am not sure my BS has done anything for me besides give me debt!
I am not sure my BS has done anything for me besides give me debt!
color of my heart
New member
i just want to be a mom and a wife and work from home. and my biggest fear is that it'll never happen.
Leah
New member
My mom did daycare for 15 years. Her doctor said she had to take 6 months off for her rotator cuff surgery, so she quit and now works full time finding homes for exchange students. Sometimes she misses it and wishes she could take one or two kids to watch, but she definitely doesn't want to go back to the whole 10 kids thing!
I'm just ready to move this show out of my house. I want our home back. It was great when our kids were little and in the same stages. I thought I wanted to teach preschool and now I'm not so sure. Every few months I think "oh I've got holidays coming up, I'll feel better after that" and then they come and go and I don't feel any differently. I've applied for jobs with our school division, so that I can be home when my kids are home, but if that doesn't work out, I will probably continue daycare but follow the school calendar and be closed when my kids are home.
NeverendingJen
Active member
I want nothing more than to be a sahm. I am really hoping that in 6 months I will officially get to transition to being one!
rach3975
New member
Can I join the club, too? I have a Masters of Public Health, and my main reason for going back to school for it was so I could make enough working part time once we had kids. I got the degree and worked for a year, then we started our family and realized that we could make it on just DH's income after all. By the time my youngest starts school and I go back to work (after 10 years out of the work force), I may have to go back to school all over again. :thumbdown: The one saving grace is that I worked through most of grad school and don't have any debt from it.
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I would LOVE to be able to afford to be a SAHM! I went to college for 8 years and have a doctorate in Physical Therapy. I do work only part-time (3 days/week) and have AMAZING benefits and fairly good pay. Unfortunately, living on Maui there is no way we could survive here financially on a single income. DH makes only decent money as a Social Worker in adult mental health / crisis intervention - but Maui is INSANELY expensive. Also, all of our health insurance is provided free for our entire family through my employer and it's an unbelievably good health insurance plan - I mean that alone is worth continuing to work at least 20 hrs/week (in Hawaii, employers are required to provide full-time benefits for anyone who works at least 20 hrs/wk). Not to mention the really good pension / retirement plan my company provides to Exempt employees (which includes PTs). When I weigh the pros / cons, as much as I'd LOVE to be a SAHM - it would just be a stupid decision for our family for me to not continue working part-time, as much as I hate that. And if I've got to work, it's not too bad of a gig (at least it's rewarding). Still, I dream of winning the lottery or something! ha!!
If we lived pretty much ANYWHERE on the mainland, we could afford for me to not work. But the benefits of my son growing up on Maui are also worth it to me. (you know what they say about the price of living in paradise). So for now, I'll just keep plugging away a few days a week and dreaming!! (and living vicariously through the rest of you SAHMs out there!).
If we lived pretty much ANYWHERE on the mainland, we could afford for me to not work. But the benefits of my son growing up on Maui are also worth it to me. (you know what they say about the price of living in paradise). So for now, I'll just keep plugging away a few days a week and dreaming!! (and living vicariously through the rest of you SAHMs out there!).
cardinalskate
New member
I guess after reading most of the comments on this thread, my dirty little secret is I feel like a bad mom because I KNEW I never wanted to be a SAHM. I would go INSANE. I worked hard for all my degrees and knew from the start that I wanted to USE them! Even when I take vacation, after 3-4 days, I'm itching to get back to work. Now don't get me wrong, I love my daughter with everything I have and love spending time with her, but being a SAHM just isn't for me.
Jengerbread88
New member
Haha, that's not being a bad mom at ALL. That's being a person-- it's good that you recognize it's not for you, and find something that is. Your kids will probably appreciate it more knowing that you're doing what you know is best for you AND for them
Jengerbread88
New member
The crying thing made me think of another secret. I cry during standing ovations. It doesn't even matter what people are standing and clapping for. It just makes me cry uncontrollably.
scrapsandsass
New member
Most of the time, the ovation thing makes me cry too. And weddings. Or if I'm watching a show where someone is having a baby. Or if a guy starts to cry. Or the commercial where the polar bear goes and hugs the guy for buying an electric car. Ugh. I'm just a big crybaby all of the time now. It is ridiculous. :blink:
Jengerbread88
New member
Flash mobs. Any commercial with a baby. Larger groups of people doing pretty much anything together (dancing, clapping, saluting the flag).
cardinalskate
New member
Wow, I truly thought this was just me! I am such a crybaby. Weddings. Births. Dancing. Standing Ovations. Hugging. Ugh.
scrapsandsass
New member
littlekiwi
Active member
when I was working my dirty little secret was I would rather take a few short vacations from work than one long one if I didn't have anything planned - I'd rather be back at work after 3 or 4 days off
Ethereal_sheep
New member
Me too! I'm working on my 8th year of college. My last graduation ever happens in less than a year. I don't want to go straight to work - I'd really like to take that 6 month grace period after loans and have a baby. *sigh* My husband's not on board with that plan since he's a phD student...and babies just aren't conducive to finishing your dissertation. *nope* Just had that talk...now initiating panic mode in the hubby...followed by an hour of sitting on the couch staring at our respective computer screens in silence.
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