Mommy's that don't immunize or delay immunizations **I NEED YOUR HELP**

M

mummytothree

New member
OK I know this is a hot topic and I don't want this to turn into a debate. We all do what is right for our kiddies and we all do it because we love them!!! So let's all be friends...k!?!?! :wub:

OK when my older son was born (almost 4 years ago) I decided that I didn't like the way doctors gave them shots..... it was easy then because my son was so sick his first year (in and out of the hospital with breathing problems) that he was never well enough for any stretch of time to get a shot. By the time he was well my doctor didn't like that I only wanted 2 shots a visit but they respected my choice and agree that with his past problems it wouldn't be a good idea to "tax" his immune system anyways!!

Well we moved and then G-man was born and I have had nothing but problems with our new doctors (starting on the day he was born when I refused to let them give my 6 hour old son a HEP B shot....ummm he's not gonna be having s.e.x. or doing IV drugs *just yet*!! :cursing: )....to the point that I am reduced to tears at each visit and I avoided going from 2 months on (I still took him to the health department for weight and measurements). At first it was just the nurses but today I was jump by one of the doctors who basically said to me that **THEY** were concerned for my sons well being!!! Like I'm not (insert momma bear growl and bring on the claws), I told him how insulted I was that they were implying that I didn't care for my son's well being and that is the furthest thing from the truth, if anything I usually care to much!! There was so much more exchanged but really it ended with me telling them "I will call you when I am damn good and ready to call you!!" I mean my son has snot pouring from his nose and it sounds like a lung is coming up every time he coughs but my doctor tried to insist that he was "WELL" enough to have shots today :blink: I told him I though he was smoking crack just before he came in and there was a reason you have to answer that little question on the shot sheet: "IS YOUR CHILD FEELING WELL TODAY?" :cursing:

So I have had it and I need some advice about how you found your doctors. Did you find one that also believed in no immunizations or was OK with delayed immunizations. Do you have one that might not agree with you but respects your wishes or do go through what I do every appointment and just "suck it up".

I believe in shots (I do I know that a few of them do do good in this world)...I just don't believe my 6 hour baby needs them. I bought Dr. Sear's "The Vaccine Book" and planned on following his Selective Schedule and delaying it till 6 months. But honestly if I don't find a doctor that agrees with me or that can a least respect my wishes and choices then I may just not vaccinate him at all just to SPITE my current doctor!!! :D :D

So please any advise you can share on finding a good resource for doctors that are "non-immunization/selective immunization" friendly is greatly appreciated. I live in PA about and 1 1/2 east of Pittsburgh so if there are any momma here that know of a doctor in my area and can share a new THANKS!!!
 
I am a vaxing mom, but I want to say that NO doctor should be able to MAKE you do anything, I don't believe. I researched and made my choice, as did you, so I think it's just time for a new doctor. I'm not sure how to help find one, but they did all look at me like I had 10 heads when I refused the chicken pox vax because refusal just isn't "done" here. We all must do what we feel is right for our kids, and you definitely need your doctor to have your back. Good luck!
 
I am also a vaxing mom, but my doctor respects our wishes with regards to the girl shot for cancer (can't remember the name). LOL
 
Sigh. While I too believe in vaccinating, and DD will be vax per the law by the time she's entered school, after thoroughly researching we too have chosen to delay and selectively vax until that time. I wish I had some advice for you, but being a military spouse using Tricare Prime, our options are limited when it comes to choice.

The doctors we've experienced are not terribly supportive of anything other than vaccinating on schedule since it's their job (generally speaking) to recommend vaccinations...it's what they know, how they are trained and what they typically staunchly believe is the best approach. I have to explain my reasons and assure them I'm not an uneducated whackadoo or that my choice is based on the autism fears, but rather a combination of other valid concerns, every time we are in for a visit. Still, they haven't disrespected my wishes or treated me poorly so far.

You definitely need a different doctor, IMO. Even if your ped disagrees with your decision, beratement for your choices, or taking it to the point of pushing vax on you when your child is clearly sick is out of line.

I hope someone can point you in the right direction! GL!
 
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Ask your fellow moms. I also did a google search and found this list:
http://www.cafemom.com/group/4388/boards/read/2738581/Anti_Vax_Friendly_Docs_List_Directory

I stayed far too many months with a ped. I didn't really care for. I would get SO stressed before every checkup worried to death about weight gains and her formula pushing attitude(not that I think anything is wrong with formula at all, it just wasn't what I worked so hard for to breastfeed to chance formula dwindling my supply). I only recently changed because she left the practice(I'm such a confrontation ninny). So I commend you for looking for someone new who will be a better fit! Best wishes to you!
 
we do selective Vaccinating,I had the Dr. make me a list of the vaccines, what they do and what problems they've been linked to (such as the MMR and Autism) and I then told him which I would be doing. I live in a REALLY granola-crunching, tree-hugging town so my DR expected it out of me, but I would definitely find a new dr. in your case, that is INSANE...kick them in the ass for me!
 
(((((hugs)))) I'm also a vaxing mom (although Mason missed his 5 year shots because he wasn't allowed to because of chemo - he'll be getting them in November after he's been off-treatment for a full year, and he'll be 6). BUUUUT, I've sooo been there. We refused a certain treatment for our son, and the doctors insisted that we were wrong, and eventually had him taken from our custody so that they could do the procedure. Up here in Canada, parents have NO rights over children when the doctors think that they are right, the doctors can do anything to give them the treatment that they want (especially in the case of a VERY sick child - if he hadn't been so sick, we would have taken him to a different hospital). And you know what...turns out that he DIDN'T need that procedure RIGHT that second, but he got it anyway. :(

Anyhow, that's a different situation because that was what the doctors considered life/death, whereas you are dealing with immunizations, but the premise is the same - doctors should NOT be bullying you into doing things that you don't feel are right for your child. So, big big hugs to you for having to deal with that!
 
i totally feel your pain! we do vaccinate, but i do however, refuse to get the flu shot every freaking year (i am an asthmatic) as well as i refuse to pump that crap into ds (who is also asthmatic). those vaccines are proven to only treat one or two strands of influenza. so why pump more chemicals into the body then necessary? anywho, every freaking fall i hear hell for it. hopefully you can find an MD who respects your wishes.
 
Ugh that's just awful. We vax too, but we don't do the flu shot and Abby doesn't get the DTP, and her ped is writing a letter this year so that she can go to school.

You need to find a new ped asap and you need to kick that dude where it hurts. That's ridiculous, I'm sorry you were treated that way. :(
 
Stay strong and do what you think is right. Doctors seem to have a God complex - but the truth is that they don't know everything and every vaccine isn't safe for every child all the time!

I also delayed immunizations with my 3 sons - following the Sears book for the most part. I did have trouble finding a Dr. that would go along. Most peds have intro appts that you can get. I went in while prego and interviewed 3 different Drs. before choosing. One of the three made me feel the way you do - like I was a terrible mother and was endangering my kiddos! Obviously I didn't pick her! I was hot and flustered, shaking and mad as He** when I left that office!

Unfortunately we moved to the other side of town a year later and an hour was just too far to drive to appts - though I did continue to do it until I became prego with twins. When that happened I knew I needed to find a new Dr. closer to home. Luckily the first place I went for an intro appt I liked. And even though they weren't able to give separate vaccines for one of the combo shots, they did work with me to try to find it somewhere in the vicinity, but it just wasn't available, so I did have to give in to that one.

Just so you know, I also refused the Hep shots right after birth. I tried to be very confident about it and just say No - don't hesitate and don't give them a chance to question you about it. It is your baby and your decision!

I have a Ph.D and worked in medical research, and with the knowledge I had at the time there just didn't seem to be any benefit of challenging the immune system of a completely healthy infant hours after birth!

Having said all that, I am for getting vaccines - but at later dates and only one or two at a time....all three of my boys, almost 7 and twins that just turned 4 are completely immunized and caught up. To me it was worth the couple extra nurses visits to spread out the shots.

Good luck finding a new doctor - and if I were you I would look for one that you can be friendly with at least! (((hugs)))
 
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I too am a vaxing mom but just wanted to say that is terrible of your Dr. and you def should look for a new one! You have your rights and they should respect that! They have no right to make you feel like or try to imply that you don't care about your kiddos!!! ((hugs))

I am with Lizzy though, we don't do the Flu shots either. Don't need it LOL! Most I know get more sick from the shot than the flu. LOL! But that is just our personal choice.
 
Find a new doctor. I've vaxed on a delayed schedule and have had no problems. I never have them get more than 1-2 shots per visit. My family has a strong history of allergies and I'd want to be able to isolate a variable if my kids had a reaction of some kind.

Our pediatrician is our good friend and while he vaxes his kids on schedule and doesn't believe there is a connection between vaxing and other issues, has never said a negative word to me about my schedule. My oldest son is now fully vaxed at age 3.5 - but I delayed MMR until he was 2.5. My youngest son is 20 months and has not yet had MMR.
 
Obviously I don't have kids, so I haven't run into this problem. But the subject of shots came up recently and this reminded me.

I had my yearly female appt and my dr spoke to me about giardasil (or however it's spelled). She said, "you have a boyfriend right?" And I said actually we're engaged now. Well that changed her whole tone! She was like oh, well in that case I'm not really gonna push it on you, if you were only dating then I might press it a little more. That cracked me up, because what if it was the worst relationship ever, and one or both of us was cheating? Hello! I mean yes, in many cases, being engaged or married is obviously a more stable situation and you're less likely to be exposed, blah blah blah, but it just seemed weird to me that NOW, I don't really need it since we're gonna get married. But if I had said we were only dating, then she would've pushed it.

Then, we were home in NY and discussing something, and it came up. And my sister was like yea, I got it and it hurts like crazy! And I was like but.....why did you get it? It's not like my sister is a big wh$re who sleeps around and is at risk. I said if I was her, I wouldn't have gotten it, and she was kinda like eh, whatever.

That one is just too new for my liking. In 15 years when I have a little girl and we know more about the side effects then I'll consider it. But it's brand new! And it only treats the 4 most common strains.

Anyway, sorry to hijack, this topic just triggered that memory, lol.
 
It seems like this isn't a vax-ing issue as much as a personality issue with your doctor. I'd find another doc ASAP - one that you're more comfortable with and one that is willing to listen to your concerns as a mother. That would be the most beneficial for everyone in the long run IMO. *hugs*

Hope you find a doc that works for your family. :)
 
emilyscout said:
Ask your fellow moms. I also did a google search and found this list:
http://www.cafemom.com/group/4388/boards/read/2738581/Anti_Vax_Friendly_Docs_List_Directory

I stayed far too many months with a ped. I didn't really care for. I would get SO stressed before every checkup worried to death about weight gains and her formula pushing attitude(not that I think anything is wrong with formula at all, it just wasn't what I worked so hard for to breastfeed to chance formula dwindling my supply). I only recently changed because she left the practice(I'm such a confrontation ninny). So I commend you for looking for someone new who will be a better fit! Best wishes to you!
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That's awesome and there is actually a whole pediatric unit and hour from my house!!!

THANKS TON!!!
 
Well it seems that everyone else here has responded as a vaxing mom .... so I wanted to give you my 2 cents since I am a converted vaxer ... but now I don't.

My son (6 yrs old) was completely vaxed on schedule per the "doctors reccomended schedule" and he has SO many medical problems & I really feel most are related to the vaccines he was given at such a young age.

My daughter (4 yrs old) hasn't had any vaccines. She will not have vaccines unless she decides later in her life to have them. I researched my decision and I am able to tell the doctors exactly why she will not be vaccinated. She is also MUCH healthier than my son BTW.

So that is my reccomendation to you .... know WHY you are not vaccinating or delaying and be firm with the doctor. You should be able to find a new doctor in your area by talking with them. This doctor sounds very arrogant & rude and isn't really listening to you as a mom. With will cause more problems in the long run anyway. Another route maybe to contact a local midwife/birthing center and see if they have any reccomendation.

I hope you find a new doctor soon. (((HUGS)))
 
Heather Roselli said:
Stay strong and do what you think is right. Doctors seem to have a God complex - but the truth is that they don't know everything and every vaccine isn't safe for every child all the time!

I also delayed immunizations with my 3 sons - following the Sears book for the most part. I did have trouble finding a Dr. that would go along. Most peds have intro appts that you can get. I went in while prego and interviewed 3 different Drs. before choosing. One of the three made me feel the way you do - like I was a terrible mother and was endangering my kiddos! Obviously I didn't pick her! I was hot and flustered, shaking and mad as He** when I left that office!

Unfortunately we moved to the other side of town a year later and an hour was just too far to drive to appts - though I did continue to do it until I became prego with twins. When that happened I knew I needed to find a new Dr. closer to home. Luckily the first place I went for an intro appt I liked. And even though they weren't able to give separate vaccines for one of the combo shots, they did work with me to try to find it somewhere in the vicinity, but it just wasn't available, so I did have to give in to that one.

Just so you know, I also refused the Hep shots right after birth. I tried to be very confident about it and just say No - don't hesitate and don't give them a chance to question you about it. It is your baby and your decision!

I have a Ph.D and worked in medical research, and with the knowledge I had at the time there just didn't seem to be any benefit of challenging the immune system of a completely healthy infant hours after birth!

Having said all that, I am for getting vaccines - but at later dates and only one or two at a time....all three of my boys, almost 7 and twins that just turned 4 are completely immunized and caught up. To me it was worth the couple extra nurses visits to spread out the shots.

Good luck finding a new doctor - and if I were you I would look for one that you can be friendly with at least! (((hugs)))
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Sounds like were are almost identical in our thinking!!! It's great to have a kindred spirit out there!!!
 
Thanks for all the hugs and support ladies!!! I know I could find it here!!! Also thanks for letting me write my "rant" post to...it was very cathartic for me!!! :wub:

Why does everyone out side of our little community (the scrapping community) have to act like androids or something......they all need to spend a day here and just see how so many people from different walks of life love and respect each other even when difference in opinion arise!!!

I have nothing but love you you guys!!! :wub:
 
Oh I totally feel your pain! I haven't taken DD to the doctor since her 1 year appointment because I am not ready to give her the MMR shot and I know I will be made to feel like an idiot for wanting to wait. When I asked our Ped. about it last time she said that was fine but they make you sign a statement saying you refused the shot so that if she gets the disease the insurance company won't cover it. Stupid stupid. Its not that I don't want to give it to her ever- just not now.

I despise doctors- don't trust 'em as far as I can throw 'em! Hope you are able to get into the office that is better about understanding!
 
We're on the delayed Dr. Sears schedule, and my doctor is so wonderful about it, they already had the list there in their office. When Phin was born in June, I opted not to give him the Hep B (he won't be getting that until he's 2), because he was 6 weeks premature and already in the NICU!! I couldn't believe they were still pushing me on it!!

Find a doctor that is okay with attachment parenting, for me that was someone who was okay with breastfed only, co-sleeping, and delayed immunizations... the search was hard, but it was so worth it. I love my boys' doctor so much, she really understands and listens. Just do the legwork, and don't be afraid to interview them, they're your kids' doctor, after all, they work for *you*.
 
Well, I am another delay and selective vaccine mom (the very crunchy-attachement type ;) ) We only do 1-2 per appointment, and we outight refuse some. Our children will never get the chicken pox vaccine, nor will they get a couple others. We push MMR back to about 2. Our first family doctor was ok with that because our daughter was always so sick at the time, and our current family doctor is completely cool with it, regardless of whether he agrees with it or not. He knows that we've done our homework, and that we have reasons for parenting the way we do.

We also go against the grain as far as medications, as we're as anti-antibiotics as you can be when your child is chronically ill, like our 2 year old is. We also do not follow the "recommendations" with regards to feeding infants. We do extended BFing. We delay solids, and we skip baby cereals and purees altogether. Again, these are things that our doctor knows, and he doesn't push these issues. It's all about having respect for their patients and treating them like actual people.

I agree with everyone else. It's time to find a new doctor. I know it can be tough. When we found out that our first family doctor was moving, we started the search to find a new doctor for our kids, mainly. Because of Aidan's needs, our doctor suggested actually going to a pediatrician instead of a family doctor, and I met with a few. I was not impressed, as none of these doctors wanted to meet my special needs daughter, whom they would be caring for! :thumbdown: When I called to inquire about our current family doctor, he insisted that he examine Aidan before agreeing to take her on as a patient, and from that first appointment, we knew that he was a keeper.

Okay, sorry for the book. I was just trying to say, in a very longwinded way :p , that it is possible to find a doctor that will treat you with respect, and you should insist that they do!
 
I do immunize, but I can see why you don't. I did research before I did, so it makes sense to me. I would just call around and talk to doctors until you find one you are comfortable with. You aren't going to be taking him, if you aren't. I love my son's pedi. She is awesome and totally respects my parenting style and would never pass judgement if she didn't. She was always quick to praise me on breastfeeding and making it past 1 year. I think you just need to call around and find the right one for you.
 
I don't really have anything to add... just ditto'ing the other gals. we switched ce's pedi after despite me telling the dr I did NOT want ce to receive the chicken pox vac they stuck him with it anyway-- We ended up not going to the pedi for a very long period of time after that. He has a new pedi that I love though (same office I went to as a kid), they don't 100% agree with my thoughts on things.. but they don't argue with me either.
 
no real advice - I found our ped through friends and interviewing - but just a word of support to doing what you feel is right. I went from selectively vaxing to not vaxing (for now anyway) and I am comfortable with my choice. I hate drs or nurses that feel like they need to tell me what's what....I so agree with Heather's comment about drs having a God complex. Oy. :glare:
 
When the twins were born I was very clear that I didn't want them having the Hep. shot and the docs/nurses in the hospital didn't have any problems with that. In my area we really only have one HUGE group of ped's. There are probably over 13 doctors in this one group. And, of course, you got some really really crappy ones, and some okay ones, and one really good one (that you don't get to see too often since everyone loves him). I've had sooooooo many issues with the group as a whole.

The one doctor I love is really getting up there in age...I mean, he was MY doctor when I was a baby and he was "older" back then. But he totally RAWKS! I just love him! I love that he doesn't push meds unless totally necessary and he is just an amazing doctor IMO! He was pleased that I wanted to delay shots, etc. The other doctors didn't "fight" with me but didn't like my decisions.

I guess I should just quote what lizzy said cause it's bascially the same for us...
i do however, refuse to get the flu shot every freaking year (i am an asthmatic) as well as i refuse to pump that crap into ds (who is also asthmatic). those vaccines are proven to only treat one or two strands of influenza. so why pump more chemicals into the body then necessary? anywho, every freaking fall i hear hell for it. hopefully you can find an MD who respects your wishes.
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So they haven't given me that hard of a time with the vaccines. But I'll tell ya what...I've had tons of issues in this area about me not circumcising my son! OMG! That's a long story of it's own! :(

Unfortunately, I live in an area where everyone and their mother does what everyone else does and I'm one of the few who does what I think is right. I make my decisions based on research, where as so many around here think they just need to ask their neighbor what they did and do the same without even blinking an eye.
 
As a nurse, I feel that any Doctor that doesnt give you all the info and let you make your own decision is a tyrant. I would not have a dr like that.
A dr is a part of your child care plan. NOT the one in charge. I have been a nurse so long that I cannot work for Drs like that any more.

Change Drs...................you might have to find a dr outside a typical
dr practice. Drs part of a bigger system (hospital, HMO, community) are graded on how may of their patients are vaccinated.


Megan--I had just the opposite problem...I had to take the phone number of the dr that does circs with me to the hospital and call him myself to get the circ done...........Goes to show how things are different in different places!
 
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I'm having to make this decision right now. Max just turned one and is up for his last round of vaccinations, the one that includes the dreaded MMR. :(

I was BIG on vaccinating till I saw Jenny McCarthy on Oprah and she talked about the light going out of her son's eyes and DANG that spoke to this mommy's heart. I still don't know what I'm going to do.

It's SUCH a hard decision.

Here in Malaysia they do the TB vaccine at birth, and I didn't even KNOW they had given it to my son till he was ten days old and he had this HUGE bubble on his shoulder. We were really freaked about it, but when we showed it to the dr, he was like, "oh that. it's from the tb immunization we gave him when he was born." Then when he was 18 months and tested POSITIVE for TB and had to go through a NINE MONTH long treatment for TB, even though he only tested positive because of the vaccine, I was REALLY commited to not letting baby #2 have the vaccine. But it turns out the type it protects against is the type that is really common in the interior here on Borneo, so I let my 2nd have it too, but at least it was an INFORMED decision.

CAN YOU BELIEVE they gave my child this major vaccine without even TELLING me?
 
Kassi had all of her shots when she was little. I was just too overwhelmed and sick to even think about it- people get shots so I just went along with the flow and did it. But...

We are not going to do the second set of Chicken Pox (whichever one that is) and there is another I can't remember. I just see no need for it. I had Chicken Pox as a kid and it didn't kill me. It wasn't fun, but here I am. Plus, you NEVER hear of kids having it these days. We haven't had to face the docs on this yet. Praise the Lord she is rarely sick so I haven't been in at least 5 months.

I don't know how I'd handle it except just tell them face to face NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you did not give birth to her you will not make this decision and according to state and national laws you have no right to do so. Wanna hear from my lawyer? It really doesn't matter at all what they say. They can run their trap, be pinheads, and insult you 'til the cows come home. Your child is your child and not theirs or the government's and they can't do one stinking thing about your decision. You do what you think is best and tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine while you happily search for a new pediatrician :)

We don't do the flu shots and I get looked at like I have a 3rd eye or something but it hasn't become an issue yet. It's the flu. Not an airborn killer disease for goodness sake! Save the shots for the elderly and the very sick. We'll survive if we get the flu.
 
Thanks ladies!!! For all your personal stories and advice it's greatly appiceated!! I do have a "Meet the Doctor" appointment with another doctor in my area Monday @ 9AM.

We'll see how it goes!!! (crossing fingers)
 
I delayed my twins shot for almost 3 years......yep, you heard it right 3 years!!! Forward to now and I am told that they will NOT be able to attend school unless I get them all caught up. I tried to explain that I DID NOT want them done and they should be able to attend school just like everyone else but that was not the case so at their physical for school they ended up giving them 3 shots each and then we went back 3 weeks later and got 2 more. They still need one more but that can't happen until next year. I was really upset and really protested the MMR (which they BOTH had a reaction from and that has NEVER happened before) but I of course lost what was left of my spine and let them give them the shots. I also DO NOT agree with the Chicken Pox vaccine but it is LAW here in Illinois so I really did not have a choice there.

I am really not one to jump on a bandwagon unless it is something I REALLY believe in but after Jenny McCarthy came with her fight about immunizations I really kinda freaked out. My twins were pretty small when they were born to begin with so I was really scared at the beginning. They got the shots they were supposed yo up until they were 2 then I stopped all together. The only time they went to the doc was for an illness if needed and I always got the EVIL eye from the nurse & doc but fortunately they were sick so could not have the shots anyway. Needless to say I found a new doc but as I said before that I HAD to do it or my kids could not go to school so in a way I caved. I have tried to talk to my DH about the situation and he just does not get it so I am kinda alone here (in my own house anyway) with my views but glad to know I am not the only one out there!!!

BTW, my two older kids got the Meningitis (sp??) vaccine at their school physicals but I was really all for that one because my SIL has had both types and almost died from one of them. With the kids in sports and the older one will be dating and all that other yucky stuff I don't want to talk about so I guess I feel OK about that one!!!

Sorry for my ramblings but I am glad it is out there and we can all talk about it freely!!!!
 
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