Kids and Social Media

Keira is 9, will be 10 in May, she doesn't have anything social media related or even a device yet. She's getting a kindle fire for Christmas, I've already set up all the parental blocks on it.

She will not get access to facebook or instagram until she's at least 13. As far as a phone goes, I've been thinking around 12 a crappy pay as you go phone might be nice, but not a smart phone.

She's my oldest, so I'm learning as I go. One of Keira's friend's parents told me last week that some girls in another class had started a I hate such and such club on instgram. They're 9, there is no excuse for that.

And Instgram, totally not appropriate, I've stumbled across very adult material on there before.

And when she does get a social media account, I will have the password and she will be my friend.
 
Mine are 12 and 8 and no social media. They have Facebook accounts for games but no idea what passwords are to actually use Facebook. It's just to connect to in games. My 8 year old asks if she can use Facebook because "all her friends do" but nope. The 12 year old chats with his friends via Steam and it's ALL about Minecraft.
 
mariewilcox said:
We had a scary and sad incident happen a couple years ago when Cheyanne was 12, where a 14-yo girl in our town friended an older boy she didn't know and then snuck out to meet him. She was kidnapped and killed and found a couple weeks later in the woods about 5 miles from her home :crying: Cheyanne is very aware of how to conduct herself and not to friend anyone she doesn't know extremely well. It was a hard way to learn but learn she did. (And no, I didn't shield her from that whole incident because life is life and you learn from other's mistakes as well as your own).
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I think these real situations as tragic and heartbreaking as they are really good opportunities for kids to learn. It' s not 'Mom and Dad' just saying so...but real life.

My son (8 years old) is in a small school. One day, one of the boys in his class broke his wrist because a couple of the other kids dared him to jump from too high. Everyone was there, everyone saw it. It turned into a really good teaching moment (or should I say several weeks) to talk about 'daring' & bullying behavior with the kids. Having a real experience made a huge difference.
 
mariewilcox said:
Our schools do - starting in elementary school they teach the kids about the internet in a non-scary way - just reinforcing what "most" parents tell their kids at home. For some kids it's the only teaching they get on the subject due to their home situations, for others they might listen more to someone other than their parents (just because you know, parents are stupid and never right), and it's preparing them for when they'll start using devices in school, which in our district can be as early as 4th grade for some things.
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Our elementary schools do, too. It's built into their regular computer and technology curriculum.
 
My children also use the internet at school. Our district's web filter is so strong that there really isn't a whole lot students have access to. Each student and parent must sign a Technology Use Agreement and the parent has to authorize the use of the internet for every student. If they don't say yes, they don't use it. Shoot...as a staff member of said school district...even we have some pretty strict filter.
 
kristijoy said:
I think these real situations as tragic and heartbreaking as they are really good opportunities for kids to learn. It' s not 'Mom and Dad' just saying so...but real life.

My son (8 years old) is in a small school. One day, one of the boys in his class broke his wrist because a couple of the other kids dared him to jump from too high. Everyone was there, everyone saw it. It turned into a really good teaching moment (or should I say several weeks) to talk about 'daring' & bullying behavior with the kids. Having a real experience made a huge difference.
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Exactly Kristi! It really hit home because we live in a small town and everyone knows everyone - this girl was 2 years older than Cheyanne but she knew her and played sports with her and hundreds of us helped search for her the weekend it happened - through woods and fields and all coordinated by the sheriff. It was definitely a teaching moment for all the kids - boys and girls.
 
My 10 yr old daughter doesn't get a phone or a FB account until she's 13. She's begging me for it already though, because some of her friends already have them. She did recently get a tablet of her own, but it's with parental control and we set limits on how often she gets to use it. We are ok with it that she uses Skype with her friends from time to time and she watches YouTube movies. She does have a Pinterest account on which she pins craft ideas and hair styles. I don't see any harm in that.

She also plays games on Moviestar Planet (don't know if you have that as well, here it's a Dutch version of the website) and at first that worried me a bit, because there is also a social aspect to it, it uses chat. She and I have talked about the dangers and about internet safety and she is only permitted to chat with the friends she knows irl. I did some research on the website and it is very well monitored and child safe. I do keep an eye on it constantly and I also know her password. Whenever something unusual happens, she comes to me and asks me if things are ok.

I do believe this is the age where we need to teach children about the internet and how to be safe. At this age they still value and believe what we say. They need to have opportunities to go on the internet with guidance. I teach technology and ICT in elementary and this is what I do at school, so I do this with my kids as well. :)
 
mariewilcox said:
Exactly Kristi! It really hit home because we live in a small town and everyone knows everyone - this girl was 2 years older than Cheyanne but she knew her and played sports with her and hundreds of us helped search for her the weekend it happened - through woods and fields and all coordinated by the sheriff. It was definitely a teaching moment for all the kids - boys and girls.
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Wow. Searching through the woods. That would really drive it home. You are a great Mom Marie!

In fact, I think all the women here are great Mom's!
 
Rachel just turned 9 and is wanting a cell phone, but DH and I don't plan on getting her one until she hits middle school (7th grade here) with after-school activities.

As far as social media, no. She has played games on OUR FB pages in the past, but doesn't anymore. And no way will we allow her to have her own account until she is at least 13. She knows that it's the age required by their TOU and we aren't going to break it for her.
 
My kids got there first phone when they were going to another school, at the age of 12.
they are 12 and 16, and have fb, instagram and the oldest ine twitter, not using it much.
 
My kids are 9 and 12. They both have facebook accounts. They were started because the kids would NOT leave my facebook games alone and I got tired of having constant notifications and such from games. The 9 year old has only family members and a few close friends of ours as his friends. I have the password, he doesn't even know it. He asks me when he wants to log in. I hide people from his news feed so that he doesn't see much. My brother can be a jerk sometimes so I hide his stuff, for example. My son never looks at his news feed anyway though, just plays games. My brother plays some of the same games or I wouldn't let him be 'friends' with my son. Anyway, it is basically MY account with his name.

My 12 year old has a facebook account also. She has some friends from school as well as our family and some of our close friends as her facebook friends. I have the password. I randomly check her private messages. I see every picture she posts, etc. I monitor it very strictly and will continue to do so until she is much older. She has recently asked for Instagram. I haven't let her get it yet. I am not worried about what SHE would post, but what she might see. Some of her friends follow me on instagram and I see their pictures and all is well at this point, nothing provocative... but who knows when that might start changing.

My 12 year old also has a phone. She got it for her 12th birthday. It was a necessity. She is in the marching band at school and goes on lots of field trips with them as well as with the church youth group and other groups she is part of. I was always getting calls and texts from strange numbers because she would randomly borrow a phone here and there to contact me. It wasn't working well. There were times she NEEDED to contact me and couldn't without having to go through several different people. I had contact numbers for the adults she was with, but when they were at a theme park or something - separated into groups - it wasn't so easy. So we got her a phone. She has talk and text, no data. She can use wifi at home and connect to facebook and such but not while she is out and about. We check her phone often. Sometimes we use her phone instead of ours because hers gets service in places ours do not.
 
Our school district talks to the kids about Internet safety and has them sign a paper saying they understand how to be safe on the Internet and will abide by the rules while at school. The middle school and high school kids all have school email addresses. Before they can access their email address they had to do an Internet safety program online. It only unlocked their accounts upon completion. I thought that was pretty nifty.

I am the computer person at the 2nd and 3rd grade level. I talk to the kids about being safe online, but they don't have any access to any sites where they could give information about themselves out.
 
mariewilcox said:
We had a scary and sad incident happen a couple years ago when Cheyanne was 12, where a 14-yo girl in our town friended an older boy she didn't know and then snuck out to meet him. She was kidnapped and killed and found a couple weeks later in the woods about 5 miles from her home :crying: Cheyanne is very aware of how to conduct herself and not to friend anyone she doesn't know extremely well. It was a hard way to learn but learn she did. (And no, I didn't shield her from that whole incident because life is life and you learn from other's mistakes as well as your own). In all honesty she censors herself very well and is always asking me if she can go on a certain website or if it's okay to watch certain things on You Tube, etc. (and I'm not talking inappropriate things either, she's just very modest and very conservative for her age, which is a good thing). Of course they have their school laptops and she has a Kindle Fire and an old iPad here at home. Most all her school work involves doing her work on the school laptop.
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I was about her age when a friend of mine was kidnapped whens he snuck out to meet a boy one night. She was found alive, thankfully, but it was pretty traumatic. I told my daughter about it a few years back and it definitely scared her.

My daughter is the same way, very conservative and modest for her age. Her friends are wearing mini skirts and sheer tops and my girl is wearing turtle necks and maxi skirts (and looks adorable, I might add!).
 
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