Journalling help

[arenee]

I am doing a family book for my family.....I am working on the dedication page....
Journaling is not one of my strong suits. I have an idea of what to say but I need to make it tighter. The book is a photo book of 30 years of family reunions. On the page, I have a tree and a journaling block that matches the facing page.

This book is dedicated to those that made our family tree.
To Gammer and Grandy for the deep strong roots they gave us.
To their children for the straight trunk
To their grandchildren for the branches that allow us to sway in the wind but always keep us attached to the our family.

This makes it dedicated to all my elders. I am in the great-grandchild group.

Any help would be great and I have a thick skin so if you want to change it up you will not hurt my feelings.

Thanks
Renee

 

[Nettio]

I'd probably switch it around so it goes: grandchildren (branches), children (trunk) and then the roots. I think it makes the metaphor stronger since the roots are kind of the heart and soul of the tree.

 

[xboxmom]

I don't think you have anything to worry about it sounds GREAT to me and I am sure they will all love it!

 

[Joan]

I think it is great just the way it is too. The tree starts at the roots so, to me, this is just perfect.

 

[DawnMarch]

Here are some suggestions which you can take or leave!

This book is dedicated to those who made our family tree.
To Gammer and Grandy for the deep strong roots they gave us.
To their children for the straight steady trunk
To their grandchildren for the branches that give us the freedom to move in the wind but always keep us secured to our family.

 

[arenee]

Thank you Dawn~~that is what I needed.....
I am really nervous about this project and really like bouncing things off you ladies....
Thanks for all the help!!