Its finally happened

M

Milmomma

New member
We moved back to the states from South Korea. Its so good to be around people that speak the same language as you. We hit US soil two weeks ago and stated with family for a week, then came down here. We have a place and are unpacking.
My husband just started inprocessing this week. And got orders to be deployed..... I think I'm in shock. We just got to the states after 3 years in South Korea. I know there's a couple other military wives around here, any advice. Anything you wish you would've done before they left. We have a few months of him training before he goes.
Today kinda sucks. I didn't post on FB cause we haven't told anyone yet, trying to let it sink in. :unsure:
 
ugh!! You must be having such mixed feelings right now!! So happy to be home, but I'm sure you weren't expecting him to be deployed so quickly. No advice...just a ((HUG))!
 
Where are you guys at now? Big hugs, the deployment thing sucks. Spend lots of time together, get to know your new area, etc. We barely dodged the deployment bullet this year due to an upcoming PCS. My PM box is always open if you want to talk military.
 
((HUGS)) We've been there, done that.

In our case we expected he would deploy when we chose to come back from Korea instead of extending for a year, but I don't know that that made it any easier. He ended up being home for about 7 months but only because at the time Ft Carson required soldiers coming from tours in Korea to be given 6 months dwell time before deploying. I'm sure they would have deployed him right away if they could have. We chose to look at it as it was just our time and instead be thankful we got to spend that first year of marriage together in Korea instead of having him be deployed like everyone else we knew. As it was he spent half of our first 3 years of marriage overseas.

As far as things I'd do differently...well I don't think we would have bought a new construction home because as much as we loved it, by the time we were able to move in, he only got to enjoy it for a month and half before he left. But that's probably not relevant to you. :D Mostly I'd just recommend doing as many things as he wants to do as you can - eating at his favorite places, visiting places, spending quality time together, etc - and try not to stress out. I know, easier said than done but it really does help. And I know it might not seem like it in the face of this news, but the fact that you've been able to spend the last 3 years together makes you really lucky and I do think it puts you in a stronger place when it comes to dealing with a deployment. It'll all be ok and we're all here for you anytime you need to chat. :)
 
We're on our 3rd deployment right now...yeah they suck. Big time.

Honestly I've got to the point that when we find out he's got to deploy I just want it start so we can get it over..the months before with training and stuff drive me batty b/c he's not home but he's not gone and it just seems to drag by. The 3 mos he's been in Afghanistan seem to have passed - not quickly but more quickly than the 2 mos he was training before he left.

I try to make sure he takes care of stuff that could come up while he's away...vehicles get serviced, house gets a once-over for repairs and stuff...things are still going to come up but after the first couple of times you kind of get an idea of what exactly could go wrong that would be a pain for you to deal with.

DH is AGR - which is active duty national guard so our deployments tend to be every 2-3 years but last 10-13 mos each time. This is a 13 month deployment and it feels like 2 years. I just try to stay busy..not think about it too much (which isn't easy). My kids being older this time has helped b/c they keep me busy with school and stuff.

His first deployment was in 2005-06 and just in those 7 years the technology has gotten so much better as far as being able to stay in touch. This time around facebook messenger has been our main way of talking everyday. He has his iphone with him and he uses the (spotty) wireless where he's stationed to text and sometimes even facetime with us if he's got a good connection. The first time he was gone I only got an email every 5-6 days so talking to him every day is a blessing. So my point in all of that is think about things like that that he'll be able to access while he's there. Some guys have better access to computers and internet than others. DH is special forces and they usually don't but since he's an officer he stays in the same spot a lot of the time.

You'll make it..it's hard but it will come and go and he'll be home again.
 
I do not have personal experience just wanted to add some support. Ive got family in the military and I think that is what gets them through deployments is lots of friends and family support and encouragement. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Take advantage of any of the programs offered to you by the military. And IMO dont try to look at the bigger picture of how long he will be gone but more one day at a time thing. Again this is just what I see works for family. And it was kinda how I got through my husband being in the hospital amd the weeks afterwards. Sometimes it came down to taking it just an hour at a time at that time
 
Oh, goodness, Brittney, that's harsh. Glad you are back home, make a goal of yours to make at least one new friend before he deploys. Get involved in things as much as you can while he is here so you can still go to those things while he is gone.
 
Welcome back to the states and sorry to hear that your husband will be leaving again shortly that doesn't seem fair. :(
 
That's a lot to deal with. : ( I hope you soak up your time together in the States before he heads out. Thank you for the sacrifice you guys make for our country.
 
dang that is quick.....that sucks Britt, I say spend as much time as you can together and a friend of mine did this for her girls when her husband deployed anad I think it is sooo cute!!!!!!!!!
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That really stinks :(

We've had three deployments between the two of us since we've been married. I think the thing I was the most grateful for while we were apart was having pictures of us together to look at. Other than that I don't really have any advice. I'll be around if you ever want to chat...
 
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