I'm traumatized...Warning--SAD!

J

Jennifer

New member
Something very, very sad happened after we went to a football game yesterday. I've gone back and forth about writing about it, but I always feel better after I write. I wasn't able to sleep last night and today's been tough, but I'm hoping I will feel better now that I've written. I'd love for some of you to read and maybe give me some suggestions about how to "get over this," but I want to warn that you shouldn't read if you have any problems at all reading about death.

If you do decide to read, it's here:

A Sad One

I would seriously appreciate any advice...
 
Wow... how terribly sad. I am so sorry you had to witness that.

I don't have any real advice on how to get past those images in your head. My DH is a firefighter and has seen a LOT of horrible things happen to people and he still has nightmares about it now and then. It will probably take some time for you to get past this but know that there were people that loved him and that it was his "time" to go. :( So heartbreaking still.....

And for those people who let their children watch, shame on them. I hope my children never see anything happen like that in front of them and if it did you can be sure that I would distract them and get them away from the situation as fast as possible.
 
No advice, just a hug.

I'm so sorry that you had to see that.

But I want you to think about what you saw. You saw a man loved by his sons.
 
As a nurse, I've been both witness and a participant to events similar.

A few months ago we had an older lady have a massive heart attack. the aides and I worked on her for what seamed like hours before the paramedics got there to take over and even then, I continued to help. and between the medics and myself, we did the sllight shaking of the head and the looks between all of us. we knew she wasn't going to make it. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on her face as we worked on her.

I know I'd never let me kids stop to watch. no one needs to see that kind of stuff.

I don't have any advice for you other than to continue to offer prayers for that poor soul. It's most certainly a terrible thing to witness. Sometimes being CPR trained just isn't enough. Sometimes it is.

Are you CPR trained?
 
Thanks for the hugs and advice...I just want to rest well tonight, as selfish as that sounds. I am so thankful we didn't take the kids to the game yesterday...that's a huge blessing to us.

wildblueeyez said:
Are you CPR trained?
Click to expand...

Yes, I am. It's been a while since I've had a refresher (since DD was born, and she's 3) and DH and I decided today to sign up for the one day refresher that our local community college offers. We'll have it in January. Thankfully, I've never used it, but I was trained as a young teen for babysitting, then again for my lifeguard certification in high school, and then again after DD was born as a preemie. I highly suggest EVERYONE has the training...you just never know. :(
 
Big Hugs Jennifer. I'm sorry you had to witness that. I hope you are able to get some rest. {{{{Hugs}}}}
 
Hugs! That is something that no one should have to see. Perhaps writing about it may make things better. Sometimes I find that holding things in just makes it harder to process. Other than that, just prayers and time. Shame on the young kids watching! While death may be a natural part of life, that is not the way to experience it at a young age if it can be avoided.
 
I think maybe this kind of experience is something that you just might never get over. Thats not to say the "raw-ness" of it all won't dissipate over time. But I think experiences like this, as traumatic and horrible as it was, can be a good thing. It all depends on what you take away from the experience.
Yes, a man died. Yes, he was somebody's husband and father and brother and so on. I can only imagine how terrible it would be to witness something like that.
But maybe what you take away from it is not the tragedy, but exaclty the opposite. Perhaps it can serve as a remind to you how fragile and uncertain life is. And how lucky you are to have the life you have. And that you need to treasure every moment and make ever second count because it could all be over in the blink of an eye.
Don't let this man's death be the end of the story. Someday, you can tell your kids or grandkids or even a friend about this horrible thing you witnessed and how it changed your life for the better, made you look at life differently. made you appreciate life more.
I dont know. Thats just my opinion.
 
I have no advice to offer. I've seen things like this before and I know how you are feeling right now. Hugs.
 
oh my word, jennifer! we love you...you will get past this with the grace of God! HUGS!!! i'll be thinking of you!
 
(((hugs))) Jennifer!

I've never been in a situation where I've actually seen someone pass away in front of me, but I was about 15 years old and with a friend who was a nurse, we were required to stop when we came across an accident. I got out of the car and helped until the ambulances arrived (I was trying to calm a child who was involved) and while nobody was critically hurt, there was a lot of scary things for a 15-year old to see and hear! For a LONG time afterwards I would freak out when I heard the ambulance (and it was often, it was an "old" town and we lived in a tourist area for mostly eldery people, lol). Eventually, though, it got better and this is probably the first time I thought about that event in several years.
 
WOW! That is such a sad story and a terrible thing to have to see. I'm sorry Jennifer.

I am stunned that people with kids would stop to watch though. Maybe they thought there would be a better outcome, a happy ending?
 
Thank you all. You are just the most kind, warm bunch and I appreciate you all! I rested better last night. I took a couple of Tylenol PMs to get me there, but only a couple of bad dreams. DH and I talked about it this morning and it helped me to know that he's struggling with it, too. Now I won't feel so strange talking about it to him.

Jenny, I love what you said about making it into a positive. I certainly saw first hand how quickly lives can change and I know that I'll carry that with me.

I just want to hug you all! Thank you!
 
=(
It's really hard to see something like that, my grandfather decided to pass in our home with hospice care and it was really difficult for me, I still can't shake the image of the way he looked after it was over and that was 6 years ago in a couple of weeks.
Now that I have a family, the very thought of our own mortality can sometimes consume me.
For me, I'd plant a tree, having a way to nurture my pain always helps.
 
Lilcameronsmommy said:
I think maybe this kind of experience is something that you just might never get over. Thats not to say the "raw-ness" of it all won't dissipate over time. But I think experiences like this, as traumatic and horrible as it was, can be a good thing. It all depends on what you take away from the experience.
Yes, a man died. Yes, he was somebody's husband and father and brother and so on. I can only imagine how terrible it would be to witness something like that.
But maybe what you take away from it is not the tragedy, but exaclty the opposite. Perhaps it can serve as a remind to you how fragile and uncertain life is. And how lucky you are to have the life you have. And that you need to treasure every moment and make ever second count because it could all be over in the blink of an eye.
Don't let this man's death be the end of the story. Someday, you can tell your kids or grandkids or even a friend about this horrible thing you witnessed and how it changed your life for the better, made you look at life differently. made you appreciate life more.
I dont know. Thats just my opinion.
Click to expand...
I couldn't have said it better. I agree with Jenny.
Maybe it's not really the man and the event that you saw that's bothering you....maybe it's something deeper than that. Like life and death in general, like what Jenny said. Personally I have complete peace about this because according to my faith I know where I'm going if I die. Of course I don't wanna die, but I'm just saying that's what makes it a bit easier on me individually. When I was a teenager I was petrified of death and anything remotely realted to it....funerals, etc... just couldn't handle it.

I was in the room when my father in law took his last breath. It bothered me for a while but the shock does wear off. Anytime you see death or it happens to someone you know, it can make you see life at a whole new angle.

I'm sorry you saw that Jennifer and I hope you'll be able to have some peace about the whole situation very soon. ((((HUGS))))
 
A friend of mine witnessed a horrible accident(was almost in it himself) coming home from work one night. He and his friend stopped to help ( he has some EMT training & CPR certified) 3 people ended up dieing, one right in front of him. I won't go into details, but we'll just say they are really bad/gross. He had nightmares for a couple weeks. Once he started talking about it, cried about it(don't tell him I told), & prayed about it he stopped having nightmares. I would just talk about it with someone you feel comfortable with. Maybe you writing about it will help. I pray that you get a good night's rest tonight and find peace in your heart and soul.
 
Ohmyword. I have no advice, but I do have lots of hugs. Let us and those who love you and God support you as you process this. ((hugs))
 
Lilcameronsmommy said:
I think maybe this kind of experience is something that you just might never get over. Thats not to say the "raw-ness" of it all won't dissipate over time. But I think experiences like this, as traumatic and horrible as it was, can be a good thing. It all depends on what you take away from the experience.
Yes, a man died. Yes, he was somebody's husband and father and brother and so on. I can only imagine how terrible it would be to witness something like that.
But maybe what you take away from it is not the tragedy, but exaclty the opposite. Perhaps it can serve as a remind to you how fragile and uncertain life is. And how lucky you are to have the life you have. And that you need to treasure every moment and make ever second count because it could all be over in the blink of an eye.
Don't let this man's death be the end of the story. Someday, you can tell your kids or grandkids or even a friend about this horrible thing you witnessed and how it changed your life for the better, made you look at life differently. made you appreciate life more.
I dont know. Thats just my opinion.
Click to expand...

I really couldn't put it any better myself. This really would have helped me a few years ago. I had a similar experience and I was in rough shape mentally for several months. There was a woman who we later found out had a siezure while driving and went off the road behind my house. (I live at the end of my street and at the bottom of a hill) Her car went off the road, down the hill and was upside down in my backyard (wooded area). A man came to my house for me to call 911 and once I called I ran to the car to try and help. We tried and tried to get this poor woman (who was unconscious and we thought was dead because we couldn't get a pulse) out of the car. The car was upside down, the windows and glass were all shattered and there was blood on the roof of the car. It was the worst situation I had ever experienced in my life. She ended up being alive but passed away at the hospital. The worst part of it all is that she had been in my back yard for nearly 2 hours and we had NO CLUE. :( It was winter so the snow had dulled any noise. The picture of this poor women was burned in my brain for months. I blamed myself for a long time. It was heartbreaking. I had never met her brother before this and I would run into him every where I went it seemed. That was so hard. Every year on the anniversary of her accident I always think of her.
 
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Wow, that is a difficult one. I'm sorry you had to see that. A previous poster is right though ... he had people there with him who loved him. And maybe you can take the experience as a reminder of life's fragility and turn it to some good in your own life. It's easy to get wrapped up in the little stuff and make it bigger than it needs to be. I am not saying you do this personally, but maybe it will make colors seem a little brighter and things of that nature, kwim?

Hugs,
Melinda
 
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