I'm scared and upset about a new neighbor...

schock77

schock77

New member
A family moved in next door a few months ago and little did I know how much it would impact me. Our neighborhood is upper middle class (we're the poor folk in the neighborhood and we're not poor if you get my meaning). It's very family-friendly too so I guess the "false sense of security" is very likely in a "nice neighborhood" like mine.

They moved in a few months ago with 3 teenagers and I instantly thought oh no, but surprisingly, the teens are rarely out and not causing any trouble at all.

Then I was peeved because they seem to be breeding dogs. I know they have at least 6 dogs and they often get out of their yard, bark, etc. That's beside the fact that in our city limits you're limited to 4 animals, but I have yet to report it. They don't keep their front yard up very well and our HOA I'm sure has cracked down on them for it. I can live with those things...

Now I find out the "man" of the house is a registered sex offender!!!! His offense is listedc as "Sexual Perform Child Induce/Authorize" victim: 13 year old female- risk level: moderate.

Can you say freak out!!! I think they're leasing to own and so my fingers are crossed they default. I e-mailed our old neighbors to let them know what's up and hope for a response today (I'm SURE she wouldn't have let this family in had she known). My husband is livid and today is going for more deadbolts, making me park on the side nearest our door, etc.

I know offenders are all over, but I share a fence with this man. I think about all of the times my kids are in the backyard playing in the sprinkler in swimsuits, or when I help DH by mowing the backyard in a sports bra... ick... it makes you rethink and question everything you do. That feeling of security is totally gone. Now we know wjy our neighbor's house hasn't sold.

I could cry...
 
Oh wow...talk about getting your world rocked! I can see why you're freaked out!! I'm not sure if you can do anything about it but pray that they move out FAST!
 
You are justified in freaking out! You are right, these people are everywhere, but to share a fence...*shudder*!!!
 
I'm sorry this is happening to you. But, you're right - it's everywhere. This is the THIRD time that I've lived near one. I just take extra precautions with my kids and had a long talk with them about the "man across the street" and how they aren't allowed to go near him and it was ok.

I would push the dog issue though - that might be your ticket to getting them kicked out.
 
Omg honey Im sorry, that must be terrifying. I agree with Paula about pushing the dog thing, hopefully you can do that announ. so that you dont have to worry about him knowing. I realise its everywhere but it never gets easier being close to home and having small children. Big hugs sweety!
 
Oh my Lord. I hope you don't mind, but your family will be in my prayers. That would scare the fool out of me. Family watchdog is a site I check regularly just to make sure there's nobody close to us. I can't imagine...
I don't know how people feel about this, but if it were me I'd make sure every single person in the neighborhood was aware of it immediately. You might wanna check your state and local laws about this sort of thing, see how close you are to schools and parks, etc.....could be some loopholes that are very helpful to you and your neighbors. Like the others said, push the dog thing, well, push everything you can.

I am just crushed for you right now. Stay safe (((HUGS)))
 
Its so frightening, isn't it? We had a sex offender living two houses down (and we also live in a nice neighborhood) for three years (he's gone now, thank god). But I was feeling the same things you were. Like the others said, really push on the dog and yard thing to the HOA and police. Basically, try to "run them out of town" so to speak. I have no compassion for sex offenders of any kind. They don't get rights, in my opinion and should all have to live together on the outskirts of town (or in another country lol) like lepers. But, again, thats just my opinion.
Look at it this way.... at least you know who he is. In this case, ignorance is NOT bliss.
 
I know how scary it is but the thing you should realize is how many men (and women) are sexual offenders/predators who are NOT listed on the registry. It could be your neighbor or the person who gives your kids cookies at the grocery store or the pastor at your church. These people are very good at making children be silent and they are also very good at masking what they do. The fact is your children and you are more likely to be assaulted by a friend/family member then a total stranger and while I would totally not be non-chalant about having him next door I also would not let my gaurd down around other people just because I think I know them. I might sound like Im just a little too paranoid but trust me when I say Ive been there. done that and I learned you really cannot completely trust anyone
 
Thanks ladies... I am just beside myself with worry. I am going to make flyers for everyone on our street, e-mailing a group of neighborhood mommies that will spread the word and posting it in our neighborhood online forum. I contacted our neighborhood security guy and asked for any advice- I'm hoping he can help with notification too.

I talked to the kids "There is a guy next door who is not a good guy." My 5 year old son then proceeded to tell my daughter "If he says help him find his lost cat or something, you just yell NO! and punch him in the eyeball and kick and bite." I told him that I just wanted them to stay away from him (but it's good to know he listened to the danger talk). I really wonder about those teenagers in his house... It sounds awful, but I really think I'm going to push every issue I can to get them out.

I've checked family watchdog before and haven't for a few months... I swear I'll be checking at least once a month now. I linked it so you can check your neighborhood for my friends stateside. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.
 
You know, you may be playing with fire making up those fliers. What exactly are you going to put on them? I know it's hard to deal with especially with little ones, but I would highly recommend that you don't go publicly outing this man. ANYONE can find out for themselves by going to Family Watchdog.
 
Oh wow, that is so scary. I'm sorry you have to feel so uncomfortable in your own home/yard :( Thanks for providing the link, I hadn't checked out that site for a couple years. The nearest one is > 6 blocks from us (we live in a very metro area).
 
Paula said:
You know, you may be playing with fire making up those fliers. What exactly are you going to put on them? I know it's hard to deal with especially with little ones, but I would highly recommend that you don't go publicly outing this man. ANYONE can find out for themselves by going to Family Watchdog.
Click to expand...
I tend to agree w/you Paula. I wouldn't want him retaliating in any sort of way. I'd probably just spread it via word-of-mouth.
 
I would ditto paula.. and whoever said mentioned the UNregistered sexual offenders..

I had to google, because I Wasn't even sure what that offense MEANT-- but from what I read it means that no actual contact was made-- if you are concerned I would contact your local police department and get more info. Those sexual offender list sites can obviously only tell you so much. Instead of sending yourself and everyone else into a panic find out the details first. Obviously if he has children (teens) in his home etc things might not be as the appear completely. Also the fact that he is registered- I don't know, gives me a little more peace of mind in general. There are people out there, a lot of people, who are registered offenders that pose no risk whatsoever to the public kwim. So.. don't tweak yet, find out more info.. and just take the same care you would ordinarily with your kids :) If anything it's a wake up call, and a great opportunity to discuss with your kids the dangers out there.
 
I agree with Paula...don't send out fliers. In my community since we are in a very small township, the local sheriffs department comes to all the houses and lets us know when a registered sex offender moves into the neighborhood and gives us a flier. It's very scary to know that they live soooo close.

I would maybe just raise awareness with your neighbors about Family Watchdog, and to check it regularly. You certainly wouldn't want any retaliation against your family.
 
Yeah... I should clarify... I know enough loud mouths such as myself that I think I can spread the word pretty easily. I was thinking flyers just with the website- I'm certainly not going to name names for fear of retaliation. You'd be surprised how many DON'T know where to check. I've not done that yet so we'll see...
 
Also just wanted to add that being a "registered sex offender" DOES NOT mean he poses a threat. For instance in Florida a man mooned someone and because there were two children present he was charged with a sexual offense and if convicted he would be registered for a lewd act on a child I believe. He was an idiot for sure and probably a little immature but I would be more afraid of the person who is actually TRYING to harm a child.

And another example a man was filming people at a public venue I believe it was a fair of some sort of fair or carnivaland he was filming up women's (and little girls) dresses and they DID NOT charge this man with a sexual assault!! Something about it being a public venue and not having the right to expect privacy...I dont know anyhow he did not have to register as a sexual offender although he was charged with a crime just not sure what that crime was.

That is why you really should be aware and look for red flags from anyone who comes into contact with your children and make sure to tell your kids that no adult should ask them to keep a secret from their parents alo9ng with good/bad touches etc etc. Enabling children with knowledge and giving them the right to say no and speak up when they are uncomfortable really is your best defense against anyone who would try to harm them
 
Oh my goodness, that's a mom's worst nightmare. SO terribly sorry you are having to deal with this, I too would be completely uncomfortable. I know it's everywhere and who knows could be in my neighborhood too and wouldn't doubt it but until you actually find out for sure and it's your direct neighbor, that's just plain heart wrenching. I sure hope they don't stay, I would report him for his dogs and see where that goes. {{HUGS}}
 
I would be freaked out by that. Your post made me go check the family watchdog site for the first time in about a year. The 2 sex offenders nearest me seem to have moved. :)

One of them though I really wouldn't consider a sex offender. He was convicted of accesory to statutory rape I think, but what actually happened was his 18 year old son had sex with his 15 year old girlfriend, in his car, parked behind the house.The girl's father filed charges against the son and the dad because the dad was in the house at the time and 'should have prevented it'.

One thing about the fliers - here in VA, possibly elsewhere, though it really depends on your local police's desire to enforce it in my experience, putting up fliers & handing out notices that the guy is a regular sex offender can be taken as harassment & intimidation and that, here, is a Class 1 misdemeanor.
 
Last edited:
That's the great thing about the reporting sites. You can see, in general, what charges they were convicted of and know if they pose a general threat or a specific one.

I'm sorry you're dealing with it. I think it's a really great idea to keep everyone alerted through your playgroups, etc. Give them the information that can keep them informed, too. And definitely - if they're violating the law and HOA policy, report them ;)
 
jessica31876 said:
Also just wanted to add that being a "registered sex offender" DOES NOT mean he poses a threat. For instance in Florida a man mooned someone and because there were two children present he was charged with a sexual offense and if convicted he would be registered for a lewd act on a child I believe. He was an idiot for sure and probably a little immature but I would be more afraid of the person who is actually TRYING to harm a child.
Click to expand...

Exactly!! Case in point - the man that lived across the street from us in Reno was a registered sex offender. What was his offense? He was 19 and had consensual sex with his 17 year old girlfriend (whom he later married once she was of age). Her parents pressed charges and he was found guilty. As part of his punishment, he had to register as a sex offender.

I agree 100% with La! Do some research and talk to the local authorities if it scares you that much.
 
wow. thanks for the link to that site. there are TONS of little red boxes (crimes against children) here in Kokomo. Luckily, we live on the very outskirts and there are none near me, maybe a few blocks down. but still, i couldn't believe how many there are!
 
I can totally understand how scared you are...there a few registerd who live in our vicinity. It's very scary. I would, however, agree with everyone else. Please be careful with what you do, flyers, or even spreading things by word of mouth could bring much more trouble to you. I am sure you are scared and worried, but I would hate for this to escalate into something that would put yourself in trouble. Please be careful.
 
Yes- and those are just those who were caught and made to register!

I agree with Paula and LA though to check the actual offense. One guy in our neighborhood that is registered is 19 had a 16 year old girlfriend, dad pressed charges of statutory so he's on the site.

My neighbor doesn't seem so innocent. I'm calling about it to get the whole story as to what the offense actually means too. Not that "just a perv" is much better than a molester, but it would be better.
 
Just so you know also, what they are charged with may be a lesser offense than commited also, not just the other way around. I know firsthand it happens and it sucks.
 
Oh my gosh, how scary for you! I can't imagine next door...I can only imagine how worried you must be. Thanks for the link to the site...I've checked it before, but it's been a while. There are several in my area, but luckily none very close... Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 
ooh this is kinda bad ..I KNOW for a fact there is a registered sex offender on my street....it made front page of the paper all summer last year. He installed cameras in his teenage step-daughters room and was into kiddie porn, etc. He went to jail for a short time and briefly his house was for sale so I thought he would leave but he couldn't sell the house so he is still here. The kicker is, he's not on the family watchdog site at all! That's scary!

I can imagine how you must feel and how insecure it makes you...I feel that way with him 3 blocks down the street, i can't imagine being his next door neighbor :( For your sake I hope he defaults on his lease.
 
I am one of those super paranoid mothers. I would be completely freaked out if I were you. HOWEVER, I think you are very smart to do the research and be very very careful how you disseminate information to your neighbors. You don't want to do anything to violate HIS civil rights and get into trouble. Personally, I think that sex offenders against children shouldn't have any rights, but that's because I am currently living with a sibling who is trying to survive this. And the WOMAN AND HER SON who molested my sibling have never been charged or convicted of a crime. They are just living their happy little lives and probably molesting more kids. And we can't do a darn thing because we weren't the ones who actually went through the abuse and my sibling can't mentally handle pressing charges. We can't even tell mutual friends with small children because THE MOLESTERS' rights will be violated and we can be sued/charged. It just plain sucks! Be careful!
 
schock77 said:
Yes- and those are just those who were caught and made to register!

I agree with Paula and LA though to check the actual offense. One guy in our neighborhood that is registered is 19 had a 16 year old girlfriend, dad pressed charges of statutory so he's on the site.

My neighbor doesn't seem so innocent. I'm calling about it to get the whole story as to what the offense actually means too. Not that "just a perv" is much better than a molester, but it would be better.
Click to expand...

Yeah, the 16 and 19 thing, even though it's pretty dumb of the 19 year old it goes on all the time and I've always wondered why those are even listed. I mean the consentual stupid teenage relationship type stuff, you know. Most of them are no danger to anyone. Hopefully the local PD can tell you more. I don't think I'd be passing out flyers right now either, but it sure can't hurt to make your neighbors aware and use this as an opportunity to talk to the kids. Good luck on this.

Meredith- I'm right there with you. There were things that happened to me and it really does change your outlook on the whole situation.
 
Last edited:
I would be freaking out too, but at least you know about it. I would much rather know, that not know, because you can take the necessary precautions.
For your sake, I hope they move ASAP!!!
 
Oh I would be completely freaked out as well. And that feeling of loss of security is sooo understandable. It is terrifying for a parent. I think you've got your head on straight and it's good you're doing your research but at the same time taking measures to protect your family. GL!!
 
I'm sorry you're dealing with this! I hope the dog and HOA angle has good results for you and they decide not to buy.

Thanks for the link--I hadn't checked before. We seem to have 1 guy listed who's only a couple of streets over, but "luckily" his conviction was for posession of child porn and not something scarier. Like some of you, we live in a densely packed suburb and it didn't surprise me to see lots of boxes on the map. I'm going to make more of a point of checking in the future, especially as my kids get older and begin to wander the neighborhood without me.
 
Well I can completely empathize with you! I knew at one time we had a registered sex offender living in the neighborhood a few streets over, but since it wasn't immediately in our area I wasn't too concerned. Well I checked that site you posted and found that the family that moved into the house that was for sale back in May on the street that runs perpendicular to ours (so they are next door to the people that are caddy corner across the street from us, it's kind of hard to describe lol), well there is a registered sex offender living there!! I casually met the woman the day they moved in when the kids and I were walking home after getting Kaylie from school when her dog came out to say hi to us as we passed by. She seemed really nice and I've seen kids around my girls ages playing in the driveway. The man on the list has a different last name than what is listed in the phone book for that address so I'm not sure how they're actually related. But I'm seriously freaked out now! We don't ever allow our girls to play out front because our driveway slopes down and also people drive way too fast down our street. So we make them play in the backyard since we have a privacy fence and all that. But I walk right past this house every day to walk the girls to/from school! Which the elementary school is at the end of the street they live on so I'm surprised they can be so close to the school. The man's crime is listed as a green square or "other offense" and says under conviction "Conviction date not reported AGGRAVATED CRIMINAL SODOMY; SODOMY W/PERSON WHO CAN'T OR DOESN'T CONSENT Offender's age at conviction not reported". I don't know what type of thing that all entails but I know my kids won't be going anywhere near there! I absolutely love our neighborhood and have never wanted to move in the 7 years we've been here, but man I'm wanting to pack up and move now!
 
(((HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!))) i can NOT imagine what you are going through!!!! i will keep your family and your neighbors in my prayers for safety and peace of mind! hopefully he'll be outta there REAL soon!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2026 XenForo Ltd.
Back
Top