LenaGardner
New member
First of all, I'll apologize to anyone seeing this in more than one place. I want to update everyone on how I'm doing and this is the easiest way to do it! Second of all, because of the nature of public forums, you understand that I may be guarded and I understand that anyone can read this. Anything I share with you....I don't care who knows it.
My husband of 3 1/2 years abandoned us last week. I think that it was simultaneously the worst decision he has ever made, and the biggest relief I've felt in a long time. I think the decision to leave your children is a cowardly one, but I understand why he did it. Our marriage has been unhappy since David returned from the Army in February. He didn't adjust well to living in KY, to living as a civilian, and to facing his responsibilities. He didn't want to keep a job, and he missed his family in Ohio. None of these are excuses, they are just the facts.
Last week, as our savings were beginning to dwindle in an alarming way, I put more pressure on David to get a job (I was previously not pressuring him because he's a grown up and needs to handle his own self). Anyway, I also began looking for work. Mid-week, David was offered a job and accepted it.
Then he refused to go.
I knew at that point that we were in for it. That it was the end. If a man won't support his family when he knows they are in financial distress, then it's not a man I need to be with.
Two days later, he packed up his things, took his check card, took our only vehicle, and walked away without saying good-bye. He proceeded to move in with his mother and overdraw our checking account.
So that's the rest of the story. That's how we got where we ended up. That's how my marriage ended.
I sat around stunned and in shock most of the afternoon on Friday, alternating vomiting and crying, and then asked Tabatha to take me to the hospital. I was having anxiety attacks and couldn't breathe. I realized that I wouldn't be able to care for Parker and Naomi until I could get that under control. I was previously on no medication whatsoever so I didn't even have a medical helping hand to get me through this.
I was admitted and stayed for five days while the counselors and staff helped me cope with what has happened and where I can go from here.
I'm looking for a job and in the meantime, will depend on my income as a designer to provide for me and the kids. I have a meeting with a lawyer in the morning to discuss my options.
I have spoken with David a few times. Once by phone and once by IM conversation this morning. We are agreeing on all points are going to try and make the dissolution quick and as pain free as possible.
I feel sad that my marriage is over. I feel heartbroken that my children do not have a nuclear family. I feel anxious about the future. I feel angry that anyone could do this. I feel angry I let it happen to me. I feel fragile. I feel confident that I can do it alone. I feel proud that I'm that kind of girl. I feel grateful for my family and friends. I feel emotionally exhausted. I feel so much relief that his happiness (or the lack thereof) is no longer my problem. I feel like my load has been lightened. I feel like this is the right thing for my family. I feel hopeful and I dare say that there are moments when I feel happy.
Thank you ALL for your prayers and positive thoughts. Being able to read them when I came home last night made my transition home a little easier and made me a little less anxious.
My husband of 3 1/2 years abandoned us last week. I think that it was simultaneously the worst decision he has ever made, and the biggest relief I've felt in a long time. I think the decision to leave your children is a cowardly one, but I understand why he did it. Our marriage has been unhappy since David returned from the Army in February. He didn't adjust well to living in KY, to living as a civilian, and to facing his responsibilities. He didn't want to keep a job, and he missed his family in Ohio. None of these are excuses, they are just the facts.
Last week, as our savings were beginning to dwindle in an alarming way, I put more pressure on David to get a job (I was previously not pressuring him because he's a grown up and needs to handle his own self). Anyway, I also began looking for work. Mid-week, David was offered a job and accepted it.
Then he refused to go.
I knew at that point that we were in for it. That it was the end. If a man won't support his family when he knows they are in financial distress, then it's not a man I need to be with.
Two days later, he packed up his things, took his check card, took our only vehicle, and walked away without saying good-bye. He proceeded to move in with his mother and overdraw our checking account.
So that's the rest of the story. That's how we got where we ended up. That's how my marriage ended.
I sat around stunned and in shock most of the afternoon on Friday, alternating vomiting and crying, and then asked Tabatha to take me to the hospital. I was having anxiety attacks and couldn't breathe. I realized that I wouldn't be able to care for Parker and Naomi until I could get that under control. I was previously on no medication whatsoever so I didn't even have a medical helping hand to get me through this.
I was admitted and stayed for five days while the counselors and staff helped me cope with what has happened and where I can go from here.
I'm looking for a job and in the meantime, will depend on my income as a designer to provide for me and the kids. I have a meeting with a lawyer in the morning to discuss my options.
I have spoken with David a few times. Once by phone and once by IM conversation this morning. We are agreeing on all points are going to try and make the dissolution quick and as pain free as possible.
I feel sad that my marriage is over. I feel heartbroken that my children do not have a nuclear family. I feel anxious about the future. I feel angry that anyone could do this. I feel angry I let it happen to me. I feel fragile. I feel confident that I can do it alone. I feel proud that I'm that kind of girl. I feel grateful for my family and friends. I feel emotionally exhausted. I feel so much relief that his happiness (or the lack thereof) is no longer my problem. I feel like my load has been lightened. I feel like this is the right thing for my family. I feel hopeful and I dare say that there are moments when I feel happy.
Thank you ALL for your prayers and positive thoughts. Being able to read them when I came home last night made my transition home a little easier and made me a little less anxious.
♥
