I need some help/advice

scrapmommaof3

scrapmommaof3

New member
I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys (ages 11, 10 and 7). For years I was the mommy of 3 little boys that drove me crazy all day. Well now they are all in school all day. My youngest is in 2nd grade. Last year we were building a new home, so I was super busy with that. Now the home is finished and decorated. I don't know what I should be doing now. For years I thought once I got them all to school I could just relax in quiet for hours on end. While that has been great, I'm not sure what I should be doing now.
I don't need to work for an income. I don't think the money I would bring in would be worth missing things the kids do need me for (to help at the school, be here when they are sick, be home for holidays and summer vacations).
Cleaning house and grocery shopping only take so much time in a day. Especially because when you do it alone it doesn't take as long. Of course I love photography and scrapbooking, but I feel guilty doing that too many hours in a day.
Is there anyone out there in this situation? Does anyone have any advice?
I am not complaining about the blessing of staying home. I just want to not waste this opportunity.
Thanks for listening.
 
What a great problem to have. :)
Is there somewhere you can volunteer some time during the day, once or twice a week? Hospital, animal shelter, women's shelter, church, ... I am sure there are lots of opportunities, and they would be blessed to have you share your time!
 
i was going to suggest volunteer too.

i still have my kids at home & you know what i would LOVE? if a mom asked me if she could watch my kids for a few hours so i could go to the store alone or run errands on my own. it's crazy how much faster they go when it's just you. i trade with playdates every week but i've had 1 mom who's in your situation ask if my kids could come over to her house & it was the best thing ever! best service she could ever have given me. just a thought.
 
Sounds like bliss! LOL Maybe find a cause that feel strongly about and check out what you can do locally to volunteer your time.

If you would like to bring in a little income, see what you can do from home. Do you like to cook? Set up a small home cooked frozen meal biz for busy families.

Take on a new active lifestyle, take up running, or become a gymat.

Start making more items from scratch for your family. Bake your own bread, learn how to make fresh pasta.

Start planning a garden for the summer, learn how to can your own food at harvest time.
 
thanks for the ideas ladies. I wish I would "like" your comments like on facebook. I think volunteer work is a great idea. I live in a small town, so I guess I will ask around. I volunteer alot at church and the school, but I haven't gotten out of my comfort zone on that yet.
 
oh, I think volunteering would be a great idea! I wish I could do that... if you like talking/visiting... what about setting up time with shutins? My mom did that for awhile before their dog got sick... I'm sure your church would have more ideas as to where to volunteer.

haha - I'm with marla... I would go to the gym. I homeschool, so my kiddo is always around and it's getting harder to do my fitness classes because the Y has an age limit on drop in or growth classes...
 
I tried homeschool last year. We did an online school and it was awesome! The only problem is the 3 boys just constantly fought and I just couldn't stand it anymore. I guess they needed alittle separation from each other and different friends.
 
I can't imagine schooling more than one kid and boys, none the less... the only one that my kiddo has to fight with, is me... *sigh* I could total use some quiet time... :o
 
I was wondering all of this myself not too long ago. I figured I'd get really active in Girl Scouts with my daughter, Cub Scouts with my son, do more with the PTO, etc. Then I went to our first PTO meeting of the year last (school) year, and the principal asked me if I wanted a job. LOL Long story, but after much debate and me not being willing to give up ALL of my alone time after having spent 11 years at home with kids hanging on me all day, I did take the job but only part time. I now have 4 hours a day to myself. The sad thing is, I'm always behind. The house is always a mess, I always have more layouts to be done, shopping to do, projects for Scouts and PTO, etc. I can't get caught up. There are times I wish I didn't work (and I LOVE my job!) just so that I could get caught up for a change. LOL

Everyone gave really good suggestions. :) I had planned to do some of those very things and now I just don't have time. My 4 hours a day goes by fast, especially when I'm always having to run to one of my childrens' schools to take them something, attend a meeting, have lunch with a kid, go to a class party, etc.
 
Maybe you can do bigger projects at the school for volunteering? Get on the PTO board, do the yearbook, head-up a festival, etc.

One thing I always wanted to do was this: Baby Cuddlers but I never did because I went back to work when the boys got into school.

Or is there a flexible job that you would have fun doing? For a short period of time (like 6 months) I worked in a scrapbook store (Recollections, they are all closed now) and they were great with being flexible with my hours so I never missed anything with the boys.

For me, I make sure I always have an excuse as to why the house isn't completely clean and dinner might be last-minute. ;)
 
maryinaz said:
For me, I make sure I always have an excuse as to why the house isn't completely clean and dinner might be last-minute. ;)
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Hahaha that's the best!

I honestly always wondered what my mom did at home all day long. Right now I'm in the midst of toddlerhood/Preschool, so life is as crazy as can be.

Things that I'm always working on but think will be 5000 times easier without the kids are:

Get on a really good cleaning schedule

Get into the habit of exercise and eating healthy

Study! I love learning, and wish I could put more time into the learning portion of photography/photoshop. I do a lot now, but I'd love to devote more than an hour at a time. I'd even love to go back and relearn all that I learned in college. I'm a mechanical engineer and haven't been using much with my small kids, so I would love to refresh. Have you thought of taking classes at a community college?

Serve others. I feel like I'm flailing around in the ocean and there are so many people who help me that I dream about being on the giving end of service.

Sewing/quilting/crocheting/knitting

Get my house completely organized. Things are so crazy right now.

Have weekly get-togethers with other stay at home moms. I guess I'm assuming we will have a second car by the time my kids are all in school.

Bake! And cook. I love to do both but get really stressed out with the kids involved. I know I need to loosen up, but sometimes it's just not worth it to me.

Build. Ana-white.com is amazing and I love it! It saves money and counts as exercise. I highly recommend the Kreg-Jig.

Good luck! DH talks of homeschool but I really dream about the day that I can send my kids to school. Although when I think of their education I worry about how much teachers are limited by tests these days (or so I hear from all of my amazing teacher friends on facebook), so I may be crazy stressed out by my kids forever, thus I'm working on all of these things all the time.
 
Well, I'm a SAHM mom and I recall days when I felt like my brain was going to mush. I've found enough stuff to keep me pretty busy but not running all the time.
--volunteering at a few of our local schools 10-20 hrs/week, more if there's a special event going on (I'm also PTO VP so there's always something for me to do with that)
--taking a class
--walking the dog (about an hour a day...good exercise for us both)
-eading books for ME (it's great to go to the library and not be stuck in the kids section)
--a standing mommy's day each week with a photog friend...sometimes we hang around the house, sometimes we go thrift shopping, sometimes scout new photo spots
--some crafty time...scrapping or (and I need to work on this) needlepoint.
Add to that the grocery shopping that I do without Rachel tagging along, housekeeping, and the daily drives to and from the school, and that's about it. It gives me some time for myself, and yet not so much that I sit around getting bored.
 
I haven't read all the responses, so I apologize if this has already been said.

Honestly, I wouldn't feel guilty about taking some time to yourself each day...especially of all the 'chores' are done. You've put in 11 years of non-stop mommy-ing AND the mommy-ing commences when they get home from school and all weekend. You deserve a break.

With that said, I think the volunteer thing is a good idea...maybe even at the kids' school?
 
Laura_A said:
Honestly, I wouldn't feel guilty about taking some time to yourself each day...especially of all the 'chores' are done. You've put in 11 years of non-stop mommy-ing AND the mommy-ing commences when they get home from school and all weekend. You deserve a break.
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This!!! Also, you are in a transition time of life, so although it's a "good" problem to have I'm sure it feels like a lot of pressure! I hope you can find the perfect thing to fill your day times!
 
You got some great advice here. I always think I would like to be able to stay home and do whatever I want, but I discovered after my surgery a few years ago that about two weeks of it is all I can handle, enough time to get the house spotless and do some goofing off, and then I am bored and looking for something to fill my time. I think if I had the time, I would take some design classes, learn about photoshop, I use PSP, and a general art class. Something that feeds my soul. And I would volunteer for sure. I'd love to do the baby cuddlers. I would also like to read to and visit with the elderly in nursing homes. Honestly, I should be doing all this now, job or not, cause life is too short not to do as much as you can. :)
 
What about going back to school yourself? Not sure if you have a degree or anything, but you could do it very slowly. One or two classes a semester.
 
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