I just need to vent.

One thing that made my life a lot easier when we combined incomes & set up the budget & then when I started being a a SAHM is we each have allowence. Every month $150 goes into my personal account & nothing can be said about how it is spent. If I want to blow it all on an Itouch when my Zune works just fine, that is my business. Same for him. Years of arguing over shoes, toolsets, purses and why we would possibly need 3 chainsaws ended with the allowances. :)
 
Stacey42 said:
One thing that made my life a lot easier when we combined incomes & set up the budget & then when I started being a a SAHM is we each have allowence. Every month $150 goes into my personal account & nothing can be said about how it is spent. If I want to blow it all on an Itouch when my Zune works just fine, that is my business. Same for him. Years of arguing over shoes, toolsets, purses and why we would possibly need 3 chainsaws ended with the allowances. :)
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We do this too. We have 2 bank accounts...we use the main one to pay bills etc.. and then DH deposits a certain amount for "household" stuff into the other account which I use. It works pretty well b/c as long as I don't go over he doesn't ask any questions :p
 
I love my DH. But he's the most FRUGAL man ever, and it really bugs the crap out of me.

Example: he orders the .99 burger on the fast-food menu. He never orders a drink because he "has one at home". When the kids are with us, he frequently won't order ANYTHING because "they'll have leftovers and I'll eat those". WHAT?? Can I add that he will SIT THERE staring at us while we eat, waiting for said leftovers??
He hasn't purchased an article of clothing for himself in about 3 years. (except a pair of jeans, because one of his old pairs ripped at the knee). He hates it when I buy stuff for him so I don't.
He is a SAHD, so he really doesn't need clothing the way I do, but it all comes down to the fact that I appreciate THINGS and I get excited by new THINGS and want to enjoy it on the occasions where I chose to indulge. He was such a downer to me with this stuff for a LONG time.

It's not that I even spend a lot, it's just the difference between something and nothing!

Then we did what Misty and Stacey have said - we agreed that I could spend $xx per month and not have to explain or justify any of that.

I used to feel so "judged" for spending money on stuff, and now I just roll with it. And you know that "don't go to bed mad" thing? Screw that - it totally works. I go to bed irritated all the time and it's really for the best. Women get emotional over stuff that guys would never fathom. Sleeping on it often lets me gain perspective and I realize that I usually don't even care to pick the point/issue the next day. If I still care, I do, but it's better because it's not emotional and in the heat of the battle.



Good luck! Sorry you're so stressed :(
 
Mine's pretty frugal too...except for big purchases...like he sees nothing wrong with spending 1500 dollars on a tv..but when I come home from buying groceries he wants to know how much something costs to like the 1/8 oz. Drives me nutty.
 
I went to Dick's, tried on 3 pairs, and bought 1. On sale for $75. I'm going to search online now to see if I can find them cheaper. If not, tough schnookies for him. I called to see if that was ok first, and finally he just gave in and said "I don't care." Well obviously you do care or we wouldn't have been arguing over this for several days. Oy.
 
nikkiARNGwife said:
Mine's pretty frugal too...except for big purchases...like he sees nothing wrong with spending 1500 dollars on a tv..but when I come home from buying groceries he wants to know how much something costs to like the 1/8 oz. Drives me nutty.
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OMG...this is my DH totally!!!! but we are both bad about splurging on things and we really shouldn't..I splurge and but the kids a movie or scrapping stuff and such and then he goes and buys a $60 cideo game/computer game/etc!! but he will NOT hesitate to spend $$$$$$ on big items like TV's computers, etc!
 
Mine is the same way! he drops $1800 on a motorcycle with the justification that the gas mileage is so much better than his truck & how he'll use it at least 6 months a year. Maybe. but whatever, how much mileage do you have to put on a motocycle to justify $1800? Like 3 years of riding it for 6 months a year!

I buy the kids a couple Star Wars toys and he's all "Geez how much did those cost?! Do they need more Star Wars toys?!"

I bet they get $11 worth of play out of them LOOOOONNNNGGG before the motorcycle money has been made up :)
 
Men are freaking crazy, lol.
The other day Jordan came into the room, and was like yea, when Joey leaves I want to move that big tv down there, and then get a flat screen and mount on the wall so we can rearrange the living room.

Thankfully, he didn't actually go buy yet ANOTHER new tv (we have a 62" in the living room, and a 42" in the bedroom, and a regular 27" hulk in the downstairs bedroom). But he's TOTALLY thinking about it, Lol!
 
OMG...we just bought a $317K house and Matt is talking about how HE is going othave his OWN PS3 and then the kids can have the other one....then he wants to buy a BIGGER TV for our bedroom when we don't even WATCH TV in the bedroom!!! Funny how men are!!!!
 
I'm so glad to know we're not the only ones with giant tvs all over the house. When we moved in here..we already had a 42 in flat screen for the living room and DH was all "i'm going to go ahead and get us a new flat screen for the bedroom" which I was fine with b/c we previously had a 15 y/o relic in there..so I thought he'll go and come home with like a 27" something or other...nope...42 inches in the bedroom too!!! I am so embarrassed by that tv...and it's like a freaking spaceship has landed at night when he's watching it and I'm trying to sleep...it ginormous. Men.
 
I must have the only man in the world that puts off TV buying. *I* want a flat screen. He wants a flat screen. He has flat screen envy of his friends. A nice 46" one woul dbe perfect for the living room. We still have old school cathode ray TVs, though one is HD. I know he wants one too because everytime we are in a store that sells them I have to drag him away from them. I was 95% sure we'd get one with our tax refund but suddenly he came over all frugal & thought it would be better to make a couple mortgage payments with it.

I was like "Dude that is so unnatural. What? Are you going to be asking for directions next?" :)
 
Stacey42 said:
I must have the only man in the world that puts off TV buying. *I* want a flat screen. He wants a flat screen. He has flat screen envy of his friends. A nice 46" one woul dbe perfect for the living room. We still have old school cathode ray TVs, though one is HD. I know he wants one too because everytime we are in a store that sells them I have to drag him away from them. I was 95% sure we'd get one with our tax refund but suddenly he came over all frugal & thought it would be better to make a couple mortgage payments with it.

I was like "Dude that is so unnatural. What? Are you going to be asking for directions next?" :)
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*giggles* Omg that's hilarious Stacey! Asking for directions, Bahahahahahaha!!

I thought the 42" in the bedroom was completely unnecessary. It has a whole surround sound system! Lol! But, it's nice, and he didn't spend a huge amount of money on it. And it makes him happy. So, that's a plus, lol. I can watch tv from the opposite end of the room while I'm crafting, which I couldn't really do before. I want to convince him to wall mount it now to clear up some space in that room.
 
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