I just need to vent.

ColleenSwerb

ColleenSwerb

Brodo gettin her Swerb on
I'm feeling 89043289403289340% overwhelmed by life right now.

I'm a bridesmaid in my girlfriends wedding, which is in April.
The week before the wedding I have to take a huge massive 8 hour long exam for my professional engineering license.
I'm taking a class 2 nights a week from 6-9 to help prepare for the course. I don't get home until 10 those nights.
I constantly feel exhausted.

Work is CRAZY. My girlfriends bridal shower is this saturday. I was supposed to have 2 submissions due on friday. Yesterday one of them got pushed up to thursday. I discovered today that my boss failed to inform me of 3 additional sheets that I need to update, and 2 of the sheets are completely wrong and the calculations need to be redone. And then I have to build 2 sheets. From scratch. By thursday afternoon. I had to be pulled completely from my other submission to get all this done, which leaves my coworker totally overwhelmed too and I HATE that.

I want new running shoes and Jordan is being a huge butt and arguing over them. I even found acceptable ones for SUPER cheap ($45!!) and he's still arguing. I hate it. I just want to run and not be in pain. I don't understand why he doesn't understand that. My shin splints are already acting up.

I want to curl up in a ball under my desk and cry.

::sigh::

This too shall pass, right? :unsure:
 
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k firs toff buy the shoes. $45 is totally worth not having shin splints and tell Jordan to shove it.

I can't help with the rest! Hugs!!
 
ITA with the others about getting the shoes. First, because you know the running (particularly safely and comfortably) will release some of the stress from being overwhelmed. Second, it is not like you are not contributing income - you should be able to spend that amount on your well being (it's not like a $300+ TV or something else that is expensive enough to be a joint decision purchase). Jordan needs to understand that your health is a priority and he should be supportive of that.

As for the overwhelming, I know I've been there before. Question: are you hosting the bridal shower yourself? If not, I would put that stress aside until Saturday morning. As for the work/school stuff, vent away!!! And imagine us here giving a (virtual) shoulder to lay your head on....
 
(((hugs)))

Definitely get the shoes, you need them, I had a similar issue with OH, he got new ones and complained when I wanted some, but I told him to deal with it, and got myself some!
 
Thanks guys. I'm going to buy the shoes tomorrow. He doesn't think that there is a difference between any kind of sneakers. He thinks they are all the same. He also thinks he knows everything there is to know about running because he ran cross country in high school. And he twice as stubborn as I am, so no amount of discussion will change his mind.

I've been running in a pair of gym shoes (like literally, sneakers made for going to the gym, not even cross trainers I don't think), but that was just temporary until I found time to go get sneakers. I have 2 pairs of walking sneakers that I bought to do my 60 mile breast cancer 3day 2 years ago. One pair is worthless, but he wants me to try running in the other pair before I spend any more $$ on another pair of sneakers. Because he ran track in sandals (exaggeration much? yea, I think so) he thinks it's crazy for me to go out and buy a pair of running sneakers when I own walking sneakers. Again, he thinks there is no difference between the 2.

We are trying to save up money to build a deck this year, so I get the desire to not spend any more $$. I just did not expect him to be SO against me getting the sneakers, when I went out of my way to find a cheaper pair to make him happier. Seriously frustrating. I will probably buy them tonight after I run in the other ones and tell him they hurt like balls, like I'm sure they are. Nothing like wasting time that I don't have to do something to satisfy his ridiculous demands. (Yes, I mildly resent this right now. I don't need this extra stress, and he of all people knows this.)
 
ColleenSwerb said:
I want new running shoes and Jordan is being a huge butt and arguing over them. I even found acceptable ones for SUPER cheap ($45!!) and he's still arguing. I hate it. I just want to run and not be in pain. I don't understand why he doesn't understand that. My shin splints are already acting up.
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Does he realize how expensive doctor's visits can get? You can really do some damage if you're running with the wrong shoes. $45 is completely reasonable. I just spent $100 on my last pair, and it was worth every penny.
 
Chelsey, see my other response about Jordan being a know-it-all stubborn jerk. LOL!

As for the bridesmaid stuff, I'm stressing on that because it's taking up weekends that I would otherwise be studying (the next 2 weekends in fact). This test is a really big deal, but I also want to make sure my girlfriend has a wonderful bridal shower and bachelorette experience because her MIL is turning into a Monster-in-law.

I just feel like I'm being pulled in 17 different directions and it's getting to me. :/
 
BIG HUGS Col! I am sorry you are so overwhelmed at the moment! I definitely know the feeling!

And I agree... buy the shoes!
 
Leave it to a bunch of women to say "Buy the shoes!" ;)
Thanks ladies. I'm feeling a little bit better now, I just needed to get all that off my chest I think.

No class tonight, so I can go home and go for a run, and relax. I've got a bunch of hybrid goodness waiting for me too, so that'll be good for the soul. :) AND the dress I ordered for the shower this weekend (and another shower, and at least 2 events this summer - only way I convinced him to let me get it on sale, lol) arrived today. So I can try it on and feel pretty.
 
If your shin splits are acting up, you are past the stage of NEEDING new shoes. Its completely necessary. I know from total experience. ;) Get them. I hope things get easier with everything you have going on!
 
Id say buy the shoes and let him be mad. I know how it feels to be overwhelmed and even though it feels like so hard right now it will eventually pass.
 
You know that ol' saying it is better to ask forgiveness than "permission?" Just sayin'...
Enjoy your new shoes! ;)
 
(Hugs) Col! Enjoy your dress, enjoy your shoes and let us know when exactly should we keep thinking of you because of the test.
 
I'll add to the chorus of 'buy the shoes' :)

As an additional thought, DH and I are big live-by-the-budget people. However, built into the budget we each have a certain amount of fun money we can each spend however we want. It really saves us from feeling like we have to get permission from one another in order to buy something that is just for ourselves.
 
Misty Cato said:
I'll add to the chorus of 'buy the shoes' :)

As an additional thought, DH and I are big live-by-the-budget people. However, built into the budget we each have a certain amount of fun money we can each spend however we want. It really saves us from feeling like we have to get permission from one another in order to buy something that is just for ourselves.
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We're new to the whole shared budget thing. And I'm AWFUL with money. So I feel like I need to ask his permission because I've had such horrible money issues in the past.

Having said that, I ran in the walking shoes today, and it sucked, and I'll be going to try on a few pairs at Dick's tomorrow during lunch. Because then he decided that I shouldn't just buy the cheap pair I found, I should go try a pair on somewhere and make sure they'll be comfortable. He's all over the freaking place on this issue and it's driving me INSANE.

We were arguing again today about them, and I asked if he had ever had shin splints. OF COURSE NOT. So he thinks it's just some cocamamie (sp??) scheme that shoes stores came up with to sell more shoes. I was like right, so all the articles I was reading today on shin splints are just a bunch of hooey too huh? :glare:

I got home, put on the dress, and it doesn't fit. It's too big. I know I should be excited that it's too big, but at this point, today, it's just another thing that went wrong that I have to deal with. So tomorrow after work, and before class, I'll be going to The Limited and trying on another size. Hopefully they have this dress in stock, because I got a SWEET deal on it.
 
ColleenSwerb said:
I got home, put on the dress, and it doesn't fit. It's too big. I know I should be excited that it's too big, but at this point, today, it's just another thing that went wrong that I have to deal with. So tomorrow after work, and before class, I'll be going to The Limited and trying on another size. Hopefully they have this dress in stock, because I got a SWEET deal on it.
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Cross fingers! Luckily you have a store close by that you can go to. If they don't have it there, ask if there are any other stores that they can call around to. I know I've done that several times, and it's often successful.
 
Okay If you found the perfect shoes for 45$ get them! That is an amazing deal. I only wear certain kinda shoes for running. And have even had medical professionals tell me they were the best for my feet! Running shoes are so important for running! Shin splints are real and not fun. I've had them several times! They can keep you from walking/running and even sleeping.
Budget... it takes getting use to. You will do fine with time :)
The test... good luck and trust your gut.
The wedding, I hope they have the dress in a smaller size(congrats on needing a smaller size by the way!)

And my motto for life that is tattoo'd on my arm actually is- Un passo alla volta. It means one step at a time. I too get overwhelmed and have to remember to live for today and we never know if we will wake up tomorrow. :) Everything will work out in time.
 
scrapmonkey said:
ITA with the others about getting the shoes. First, because you know the running (particularly safely and comfortably) will release some of the stress from being overwhelmed. Second, it is not like you are not contributing income - you should be able to spend that amount on your well being (it's not like a $300+ TV or something else that is expensive enough to be a joint decision purchase). Jordan needs to understand that your health is a priority and he should be supportive of that.

As for the overwhelming, I know I've been there before. Question: are you hosting the bridal shower yourself? If not, I would put that stress aside until Saturday morning. As for the work/school stuff, vent away!!! And imagine us here giving a (virtual) shoulder to lay your head on....
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I TOTALLY TOTALLY agree with this! Goodness you are doing something that will help you stay HEALTHY!!! Tell him ok then...no $45 for shoes but you'll take $45 in truffles and $100 in diet aids ... and a doctor visit to tell you that you're gaining wait and should start running with good athletic shoes... seriously ... joining a gym to get yourself BACK in shape is expensive ... I spent $1500 to lose 70 pounds ... PLUS had to buy vitamins, protein supplements and such so probably another $1000 in a year's time for the supplements .... he should be happy you only want $45.

... and speaking as a wife of 25 years (26 in May) ... you MUST insist that things are not "permission based" ... discussing things ... and things like health should take priority. I *HATE* it (sorry pet peeve here) when the man feels like he can be controlling like that. Don't let it start this early ... get it figured out! I'm a SAHM and therefore we don't have a second income ... and as long as we can afford it, anything is pretty much ok with mine. ....$300 purses or something like that I am sure would bring along a *discussion* (LOL) ...

Maybe if you point out that "medical treatment" (doctor visit, medications, and then medical supplies) for your shin splints will far outweigh that $45 shoe purchase ... maybe he will see the light.

I am sooooo pulling for you on your test ... be sure to let us know how it went ... that is a long long exam!
 
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Aww, BIG HUGS Col!! I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

Misty Cato said:
I'll add to the chorus of 'buy the shoes' :)

As an additional thought, DH and I are big live-by-the-budget people. However, built into the budget we each have a certain amount of fun money we can each spend however we want. It really saves us from feeling like we have to get permission from one another in order to buy something that is just for ourselves.
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I was going to suggest the same thing. The other key is making sure your budget balances the needs of both the nerd (aka the budget nazi, haha) and the free spirit in the relationship. I'd say when you're fighting over spending $50 on something that's pretty practical, it might be skewed too far in one direction. I only say this because we went through the same thing when we were first married and making sure our budget satisfied both of us not only made each of us much happier but we were also much much more likely to stick with it.

And I'm sending extra hugs for having to deal with all that test prep. My sister is taking her comprehensive exams for her Ph.D this week (4 tests in one week) and she's been studying for months so I know just how stressful that kind of pressure can be. Just try to hang in there and don't stress out too much! :)
 
And it's funny, because I did my run (in the walking shoes - which sucked, just as I expected). I told him they were uncomfortable (they're big and clunky and I felt like I was running in clown shoes, plus there wasn't a lot of support under the ball of my feet, so those were hurting by the end). He snapped at me over some gardening nonsense. I went and did an ab workout, and after he was done in the shower I went and got on the scale (for the most part I ignore the scale, I try and focus on how much better I FEEL than on the #'s - I don't know why I decided to get on it on such an emotional day, lol). I hadn't heard him come in the bedroom, and he was standing at the door and asked how it was going. I was all teary (seriously, SO emotional yesterday) and said that it's not really moving, but that it's ok, and he came over and was all lovey and telling me that it's working and that I look great and he's so proud of me for doing all this. He's really good about being supportive of my efforts in getting healthy and losing weight.

But he still doesn't want me to spend $$ on new shoes. SUCH a disconnect! Lol! He was very focused on the fact that I have other sneakers and should just use those, and doesn't understand that I CAN'T just use them. He doesn't "believe" in shin splints, and doesn't think that the different types of sneakers are actually different at all. He kept saying "that's a lot of money for something you're not gonna wear everyday." Which is totally hypocritical of him. He was saying how he got his pair of Nike Shox on Ebay for only $60, well he only wears those like 1 day a week. So how does that compare to running shoes I will be using 3-4 times a week. :blink: Plus he was like, yea you should get Shox. Good idea, except I used to own a pair of Shox and they were the most uncomfortable shoes ever, and I will NOT be getting a new pair to run in. Telling him that might have made him realize that he doesn't know everything, but of course he'll never admit that.

Now he wants me to go to Dick's and try on a bunch of sneakers so I know whether or not the cheap ones I found will be comfortable. I'm going to go during lunch, and if I find something reasonably priced there, I'm just going to get them. I'm half tempted to just buy the $100 Nike ones that I was fitted for, but that will send him into a rage. ::sigh::

I know the budgeting will get better (and I have been doing far better since we did a joint account and only use 1 credit card). Normally, this wouldn't be such a big deal (I mean, he didn't even blink when I bought the dress last week and I was expecting to have to convince him that I needed it). It's NOT a lot of money in the grand scheme of things. I think part of it is because our garage doors are finally in, and getting installed on Monday. So that's a good chunk of change going out the door. So maybe that's why he's being so weird about the shoes. IDK. One way or another, I will have new running shoes by the end of the day, and that's all I really care about right now.
 
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