I am in such a funk.

N

nikkiARNGwife

New member
17 days left..I ought to be celebrating but I'm so depressed. I guess it's just b/c I'm so huge and so miserable at this point. Last night I had some major braxton hicks that got me kind of worried until they finally stopped. I'm so paranoid that I'll go into labor early and DH won't be here. I'm trying hard to take it easy but with DS that's really hard. I'm thinking I may just have to end up staying with my parents for the next 2 weeks. I hate to do it. I have another checkup tomorrow and I just hope he tells me everthing is still okay.

I broke down on the phone with DH last night. I try not to do that b/c I don't want him worrying about me on top of all the stuff he has to worry about, but last night I just wasn't feeling good physically and I was a little scared and you know, I just need him here and it's so hard and frustrating that he's not.

I'll just be so glad when this is over and I can stop worrying. I can truly say it's been the longest 9 months of my life. I thought his deployement to Afghanistan was hard, when Avery was a baby, but being pregnant with him gone has been so much harder. I just want some normalcy in my life for a change.

I just need to whine some today :(
 
*big hugs for you*

I say if you can do it, go and stay with your parents for a while. My husband travels a lot for work and my mom came and stayed with me a for a while toward the end of my last pregnancy and I cannot tell you how much more at ease I felt with her there. It was truly a huge help. If it's an option for you, I say take it!

I hope the last two weeks just speed on by! :wub:
 
Big hugs sweetie! I hope these last two weeks are Speedy Gonzales for you and just whiz on by.
 
aw Nikki ((hugs))

I so know how you are feeling, my dh was always working in another town/province when I had the last three kiddos (he's not the father of my oldest). I was alone other than my Mom during the last month of each pregnancy. I cried on the phone alot to dh, feeling frustrated, tired, sore - alone.

Just a few more weeks sweetie!
 
I'm so sorry Nikki, I can only imagine how hard this is for you. We're always here when you need to whine!! (((((hugs))))
 
You can come whine here all you want!! :wub:

I can't even imagine being in your shoes. Please go to your parents' house. It's not as if you are just being a slacker, y'know. You are taking care of a toddler and pregnant with no other help. That's the best excuse you could ever need or want to spend a few weeks with people who love you and can take care of you & your babies while you wait for DH to get home!
 
Big hugs, Nikki!! I am so feeling the same way right now too. Fingers are crossed that at your appointment tomorrow it looks like she's staying put!! Hard to believe just over 2 weeks to go till she's here!! You've always got hugs and support here - remember that!! :)
 
{{Hugs}} Nikki... I will be over soon. If I were you I would stay at my parents house and let them help you out.
 
aww nikki honey!! You're not whining! It's all totally understandable, how overwhelmed and tired you must feel. I so wish we could all be there to take turns helping you with Avery, cooking meals and providing lots of comic relief to take your mind off the stres sof it all :( Just know that in 17 days your man and your daughter will be here and the joy of that day will be every bit as overhwelming and the stress you are feeling today. You're a strong woman and you can do it !! Just know we are here for you and please don't feel like you are whining. what are friends for?
 
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Nikki...I hope these 17 days fly by for you. I would def go to your parents house, get some relief from doing it "ALL" for a little bit will sure help out. Hope all goes well at your appt. and that precious one stays put till hubby gets home.
 
I do not have fond memories of the final month of any pregnancy. I can't even imagine how much harder it would be without dh around.

I promise you'll get through this!
 
((Nikki)) Its soo understandable, how you feel! You are in my thoughts and prayers tht the time you have to wait is flying and that your appt. says everything is ok
 
((hugs)) I'm beginning to feel the same, and I'm not even trying to do it alone. I don't know your reasons for not wanting to go to your parents', but if it's just that you feel you shouldn't or don't want to impose, you should go! I know if it were my parents, they'd want to help out and would love the extra time with their grandkids.
 
Maybe this is just normal pregnancy frustration (compounded by having to do it alone for 9 months :( ), but I'll share my story just in case.

About 2 weeks before my due date with DS2 I had a day where I felt like I just couldn't do it all anymore--if the next 2 weeks were going to be as hard to get through as that day had been, I wasn't going to be able to take care of DS1 alone for 11 hours a day while DH was at work. In hindsight, I was in prelabor and didn't recognize it. DS2 was born the next day.

So if today really seems harder than the rest of the pregnancy has been, you may want to try to see your docs just to get checked out! I hope DD holds on for you until DH is home!
 
Thanks everyone..I'm better now..just feeling down this morning.

My only reason for not wanting to stay with my parents is b/c I have a hard time letting people do things for me...I get frustrated that I can't just get up and do it myself kwim? They only live 10 minutes away so if I get desperate it wouldn't be a big deal to get there. And then I'm just afraid time will go slower there...at least here I have my distractions and my own "stuff" you know...if I go there then I'll mostly just be sitting and going crazy lol..but I may just end up having no choice.

Rachel - I'm feeling better physically today than I did yesterday..I think I just over did it yesterday and paid the price last night. I see my doc tomorrow for my weekly checkup..I've been seeing him once a week for 4 weeks now so he's keeping a close eye on me since I had preterm/fast labor with DS. Your story is funny though b/c the day I went into labor with DS, DH came home from work and the first thing I said to him was "I'm done, I don't want to be pregnant anymore," ....well my water broke 3 hours later lol
 
Totally understandable Nikki! I was going through the same with DD2 and 3, except DH was around. But I couldn't wait for the pregnancy to be over, with little ones depending on you in the last few weeks it gets so stressful. Hope you find some peace and solace soon!
 
Nikki, you have every right to "whine" as you put it....There is an end in sight, your hubby will be home and you both will be able to hug and love your new daughter and your son as a family....I can't say that I understand what it is like to have a husband in the Military who is away serving his Country, but I'm sure it must be very hard and lonely (to say the least)....

You mentioned that you could stay at your parent's home for the next two weeks if you needed to....Any possibility that your Mom could come stay with you so that you and your son could be in your own home?

HUGS to you! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow as you go for your Checkup....I'll say some prayers that your beautiful baby girl can hold out and wait for her Daddy to be home to make her arrival....:thumbup:
Sheila
 
You mentioned that you could stay at your parent's home for the next two weeks if you needed to....Any possibility that your Mom could come stay with you so that you and your son could be in your own home?
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I wish this were possible but my mom has her hands full with my grandmother who is a shut-in. That's one reason it's been so hard b/c ordinarily my mom would be able to come over during the day and help me out but b/c she has to take care of my grandmother and can't leave her alone she's not able to come over here much.
 
Aww sweetie I think you are a saint I was feeling fed up and depressed before my boys were born and neither one of them made it past 8 months actually Leo didn't even make it to 7 and I had Mark around. I honestly don't know how you do it. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly for you, and that Avery is super good for you to. ((((hugs)))))
 
I'm glad you're feeling a little better. And it's funny that you had that same sort of "I can't do this anymore" experience right before you went into labor. I hope the next 2 weeks pass quickly for you!
 
I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. I had that feeling for a week before DS2 was born. We were pretty much snowed in, DS1 was 15 months old and DH was working crazy hours & never around. Of course the one time I asked him to work from home & give me a little help was 10 times worse than him not being around because he sat around being irritated all day "just what do you need me to do so badly anyway?" he kept asking. I was ready to lock him out in the freezing cold & snow. The worst day was Saturday and DS2 was born monday moring.
 
(((Nikki))) I sure do not envy you being by yourself...you are a super strong woman though (even if it doesn't always feel like you are), and have a heart of gold (as I saw from our days at TDC together)...you'll make it through the next two weeks and it will all be worth it ;)

I'm sorry I am not up to speed on the situation with your hubby...is he planning on coming home for the birth?

I hope your dr. appt. goes well today!! :)
 
Thanks again everyone..I am much better today..I guess I just had a downer the other day kwim?

Anyway, I had my checkup today and everything is good to go...nothing happening "down there" lol...I have ONE more checkup and then my section on the 4th!!! Finally lol!

Jenn - DH will be home for the birth (if baby girl keeps cooperating and waits til the 4th). He flies in Dec. 3 and will be here until the 15th!!! I'm just as excited about that as I am about meeting my new little one lol I just can't wait until she's here and he's here and we're all home together. That's the best Christmas present I can get! :)
 
Oh sweetie...well I sure do hope she holds out until then!! That is SO AWESOME that he will be able to come home and get to spend some time with all of you <3 I'm so happy for you that the appt. went well today!! :D
 
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