How social are you?

[tjscraps]

I love reading all these responses, I can relate to so many of them, I love when that happens, so often we think we're the only ones to feel a certain way, so finding out that someone else does too is always perfect.

 

[JennNtheBoys]

We really do have a lot in common because I've been told that I am intimidating. I figure my resting b!tch face must be fierce. And, oh boy, does my family like to talk about me! Nothing I do is ever good enough, so I did one thing that made a huge difference and just stopped talking to most of them. The ones I am close to, I keep in touch. The ones that were always mean to me, I could care less about. I moved away from where I grew up in 2005 and have not been back to see any of them since then. When I do go back, which has been like three times, I go to the cemetery to see my parents and then visit with the one aunt and cousin I adore. My son goes back with my sister more often and the aunts and uncles who were always mean to me, just adore him. They think he is the best things since sliced bread, which is surprising since his is my kid, but whatever.

Being more chatty in the forum is something that I wanted to do, so I made myself do it. In the beginning it was hard and I felt stupid if no one responded, but it has gotten easier over time. I still feel stupid sometimes, but that is me. LOL I hope you will chat more, because I am sure everyone would love to get to know you better and hear what you have to say. I know I would.

Family life is so relatable... I got the point of family being what I make it... a few actual family members, close friend and their family.... my online family... it all doesn't have to be by blood. <3

I'm over here reading through the replies with my cup of coffee humming along to Rudolph and Hermie's "we're a couple of misfits".... "we may be different from the rest...... but who decides the test.... of what is really best?..." <3

Have a good day everyone :wub:

 

[LJSDesigns]

So so I'd say. I love chatting with people I enjoy at work, but I'm not big on going out. I'm a homebody. I don't really have close friends, I'm not from where I live now, I've made some friends, but not ones that I hang out with a ton.

Mostly I hang with the hubby, his parents & sister if we socialize. And I just went back to offices last week, so I've done the first socializing I've really done in 18 months outside of zoom.

Honestly, I get enough of other people at work, so I am happy going home to the quiet. I've lived in Indiana since 2005 and I only made a few friends in that time, but again, that is me. I don't actively pursue a social life.

 

[LJSDesigns]

I have turned into the most people hating person since covid started. I wasn't very sociable before anyway. Talking to people always made me sweat and be so uncomfortable. Making me think in my head what I was going to say exactly and then finally finding the courage to say it... and then sounding so dumb! Sometimes I sound very abrupt and forward, and after, I realize I probably shouldn't have spoken.

It took me 3 storytime to finally find the courage to go talk to a French speaking mom (from Quebec) at the local library. She then became one of my best friends but how dumb am I for passing on those opportunities!? What's the worst that could happen? Sounding stupid and never seeing that person again... but it is so much work. Same for phone calls. I dread them. I never understand fully (being from another country) and end up making decisions I didn't want to make and having to call again to change my appointment or whatnot...

Having moved from where I finally had found friends after living in Tacoma, WA for 10 years, I have to do it all again and I can't stand it! I have no friends, or just acquaintances and I haven't found people I click with or just laugh with. It makes me so sad and discouraged because it's hard.

I'm very close to my mom and we sometimes call each other every day. We have very strong differences but somehow she's still my person. I have a big sister too but we don't manage to call each other very much. We get along though. And of course I live in the US and my entire family is in France so that makes it hard. We don't see each other.

One day I'll find a job after all my kids have gone to school and am really hoping the people there can become friends because I have no other outlet.
But when I have close friends that I can share anything with I am not shy at all!

It is surprising how much work it is to make and retain friendships. Just thinking about can be exhausting for me and I am not taking care of little girls. I can imagine it is hard to be away from your family and in a foreign country, but I am sure once you have time to meet people, you will draw some good ones into your circle. In the meantime, I am glad that you are here and part of my on-line circle of friends. :wub:

 

[LJSDesigns]

I'm an introvert. Enough said. lol
I have my circle of close peeps and I'm fine with that.
I observe all and interact little. I am content to sit in the shadows and watch everyone even at work in meetings.
As an adult I don't live near any of my circle except hubby and kids so I'm usually at home with them and I'm ok with that.

Being an introvert and a writer, I excel at expressing my thoughts in written form, so online definitely works better for socializing.
I have made some close peeps in these forums and I'm content with that too! ♥♥
You're my peeps for sure

I know from experience with my son, that writers are big time observers, so I am not surprised to hear you are. But I am super happy to be one of your peeps. <3

 

[LJSDesigns]

I am definitely better online. I am an introvert by nature. My husband and son are both extroverts though so that's always weird.

I come from a family of introverts, so when my son married an extrovert, it took some getting used to for all of us. She was overwhelming at first for us and we felt standoffish to her. But we worked it all out successfully. Thank goodness. I can't imagine not getting along with my DIL.

 

[Neverland Scraps]

I have turned into the most people hating person since covid started. I wasn't very sociable before anyway. Talking to people always made me sweat and be so uncomfortable. Making me think in my head what I was going to say exactly and then finally finding the courage to say it... and then sounding so dumb! Sometimes I sound very abrupt and forward, and after, I realize I probably shouldn't have spoken.

It took me 3 storytime to finally find the courage to go talk to a French speaking mom (from Quebec) at the local library. She then became one of my best friends but how dumb am I for passing on those opportunities!? What's the worst that could happen? Sounding stupid and never seeing that person again... but it is so much work. Same for phone calls. I dread them. I never understand fully (being from another country) and end up making decisions I didn't want to make and having to call again to change my appointment or whatnot...

Having moved from where I finally had found friends after living in Tacoma, WA for 10 years, I have to do it all again and I can't stand it! I have no friends, or just acquaintances and I haven't found people I click with or just laugh with. It makes me so sad and discouraged because it's hard.

I'm very close to my mom and we sometimes call each other every day. We have very strong differences but somehow she's still my person. I have a big sister too but we don't manage to call each other very much. We get along though. And of course I live in the US and my entire family is in France so that makes it hard. We don't see each other.

One day I'll find a job after all my kids have gone to school and am really hoping the people there can become friends because I have no other outlet.
But when I have close friends that I can share anything with I am not shy at all!

I feel this and understand you so much!! I loved the aspect of moving to a new area and being able to explore see what was there, the types of food, etc. The friends . . . that was and is always the worst! It's no wonder you see time and time again on the military wives pages "friend application" where they list everything about them in hopes to find ONE person to be their "friend" while they are stationed there. And then even if you get a "friend", you know that person, or yourself are going to be leaving shortly so you don't invest everything in to that friendship so that when it's time to move, it's okay and doesn't hurt to let another friend go.

Making friends is difficult. Keeping them is more difficult. But if you can get through all of that and gain a friend for life, that's priceless and worth the tears that you shed to get there :wub:

For what it's worth, you can always call/text me! I would love to be your friend even offline and hope we can meet up one day! Baltimore isn't too far from me (just a 2.5 hour drive). You have an amazing aquarium in your city and I've heard some amazing places to eat as well as a graffiti alley that I hope to visit!

 

[bcgal00]

I’ve learned so much about everyone and isn’t it great how our online friendships are so meaningful to us regardless of how social we are or are not IRL.

 

[LynnZant]

I have no IRL friends and married an introvert, but my sister calls me once a week to socialize me. LOL I came out of my shell when raising my kids and chatted with people mostly for information gathering. I didn't want my kids to be left out or suffer because I didn't know something. Now that they are older, I'm slinking back under my rock. I did meet a lot of nice people through my kids that I'll chat with if I run into them but no one I would call in an emergency. I feel that there is just something about me that people don't like, so I don't want to impose on them. At my age, I'm finally okay with that. I am definitely better online.

 

[just_jo]

Add another "extroverted introvert" to the list. The extrovert part had to be learned. I remember in college almost passing out if I had to give a speech or something similar. I would have never led a group or been in charge. Perfectly happy to exist in the shadows. To now - I'm a leader in our homeschool group of over 450+ families. I have no problem getting up and talking to a bunch of people - but I'm usually VERY prepared if I do so. I plan activities for the junior high/high school kids and am also the Senior Class Coordinator - we have 90+ home school grads this year so far!! This is my last year to do so (since my last child is graduating this year :thumbup: ) but I'm sure I'll find something else to do. Because I've held a position in the group for so long I find that people "know" me and I don't know them (some I've never met )

Friends - I've found over the years that having a few good friends is much better than having a lot of friends that you don't really know. I have several that I know if I called them, or they called me, we'd drop everything to help. That means a lot. One of my friends (of 30+ years) we refer to each other as sisters and our families treat each other like family. My kids call them Aunt and Uncle and their kids are like cousins to mine. That is something I try to teach my own kids....to cultivate those relationships that really matter. What is that saying about friends - Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.

and in reference to that procrastination thread - this here is a very good example of me procrastinating I should be finishing up my lists and running my 3,000 errands for the BTS party and grocery shopping for the family :blink:

 

[bienejen]

When I was younger I was 'Julie the cruise director' from the Love Boat. I was the organizer of so many friend outings. Let's get a group of friends to go to the movies, the bar, whatever festival was going on in town. I loved hanging out with friends. I'm not sure what happened. I think I got tired. With some friends, I felt like I was putting all the effort in to get together and if I didn't reach out, they didn't either. I especially felt this way after I got divorced. I was exhausted. Exhausted from my divorce, being a mom to 2 little kids and feeling like all the effort in my friendships was on my side. I still enjoy going out and doing all kinds of activities but my circle of friends is much much smaller. I enjoy hanging out with by kids, my family, my boyfriend, but I only have 1 or 2 people outside that circle that I see/talk to on any kind of regular basis.
We've been working from home since March 2020 and will keep doing so indefinitely. There are parts of it I absolutely love, esp since I hated my commute, but I do miss the social aspect. I worked in a huge office (450 employees) and it was nice to have a few friends I could pop by their desk and say hi or go for a quick walk with on break. But I do find that I enjoy the quiet and larger chunks of uninterrupted time to work.
I really became active at SSD once the pandemic started. I started doing the monthly challenges and commenting in the galleries and feel like I've gotten to know many of you more than I know what my 'IRL' friends have been up to. Like many of you, I like having the chance to 'think before I speak' online as I tend to run off on verbal diarrhea and 18 tangents along the way. Keep asking questions, Lorie! I'm always game to share!!

 

[knittingbec]

I love to socialize with people I know and like and in small numbers, haha.
I don't love the small talk that comes with meeting new people, but once I know someone a bit, I won't shut up
I would much, much, much prefer to hang out with people in groups of 5 or fewer. We used to get together on Fridays with our neighbors, three families. Then a 4th, then a 5th joined in and I don't even know how many there are now, because I stay home. LOL. It just got to be too many people and I'm so drained. My husband goes, but I usually have something really quiet to do at home, lol.

 

[lovely1m]

I come from a family of introverts, so when my son married an extrovert, it took some getting used to for all of us. She was overwhelming at first for us and we felt standoffish to her. But we worked it all out successfully. Thank goodness. I can't imagine not getting along with my DIL.

For real! That would be awful. My husband doesn't always understand my introvertedness even now though, but he does warn people when I am going to meet them. Cause if I am uncomfortable, I do not speak, at all.

 

[SeattleSheri]

I'm super extroverted (which I know isn't your question) - but a correlative indicator Ironically, I was voted shyest in high school. I love being around people, but I also cherish my "me time". I have a crew of friends, but I know other people that are more "connected" than I am. I would say I'm in the 75th+ percentile on a scale of socialability, lol. I'm the type of person that will naturally just step in and lead.

I have a very small family (grew up an only child, but found siblings later in life) and was always super jealous of people who had lots of family get-togethers, etc.