How do you get your kids more involved

lauren grier

lauren grier

you're like stars
In well anything ?
Bribery? Lol

Connor did farm league baseball for 3 years, this year the only two coaches he liked (and felt comfortable with ) are no longer coaching. So of course he didn't want to participate. I'm ok with this as the farm league was ... Run poorly. He has no interest in the little league ( it's a bit overly competitive for his liking. Have I mentioned he's a bit emotionally delicate :p )

And ... He wants to do nothing else. Not hockey. Not soccer. Not martial arts. Not art classes. Not swimming. Not lacrosse. Nothing.

It doesn't need to be sports I just want him to leave the couch occasionally :p


If there was a minecraft club I'm sure he'd join that :p
 
How about music? Any interest in learning to play anything? I forget how old he is, but up here even the elementary schools start band in 5th grade. If he's not old enough yet a private lesson here and there to learn an instrument of his choice?
 
My 4th grader isn't a joiner either. He did baseball for a few years, but the last year the coach pushed too hard and demanded too much time. Turned him off completely. J is an all or nothing kid; if he doesn't truly love something, he has no interest in spending his free time on it. So for now he's doing nothing. He learned how to play chess during all the indoor recess this winter, and he says maybe he'll do Chess Club next fall. But I think it's hard at this age; there isn't much beyond overly competitive sports. Do you have a rec center or YMCA? Jason has taken a few classes through our parks and rec department in things like robotics and computer game design.

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I have basically dragged my kids to soccer, karate, bowling, swimming, and dance. I kept thinking they would find something that would stick....no luck yet!


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I have to say that Becca likes to play a few very select things, Volleyball is the main one. But she hates the competitiveness as well, like your son. So we have a happy medium and she has found a love for playing on the YMCA teams... its group sports but fun. She really enjoyed it and wants to go again. Maybe something at a local Y?
 
As the parent of an Eagle Scout, I would feel bad about not suggesting the scouting program for a young man. It taught my son a lot of maturity, responsibility and leadership.
 
I was going to suggest the Y too. Or maybe your city has some programs he can join? I found a few when my girls were little that weren't as competitive.

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We have no Y here so I get him involved through the city. Josiah wants to play ALL THE SPORTS but Karsten only wants to play soccer and basketball. So we got him involved in the Pokemon club through the local library and such


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Does the school have any clubs he might be interested in? Ours has Lego, chess, robotics and Spanish. Occasionally my son opts for one of those when he wants a break from sports.

Maybe you two could volunteer somewhere together?

Maybe ask him to pick a summer day camp? That might be a good way to try something new without having to commit for a huge length of time. Around here they have summer camps for everything; paintball, drama, archery, horseback riding, etc.
 
I was going to suggest the library too. Ours has a Minecraft club and a Lego club that a lot of the elementary age kids here like. Maybe you could find something like that.
 
Thanks for the suggestions girls ! We do have a family membership at the y - I need to look into what sort of kid classes they have. And.. Try to convince him something is cool. Lol. Band is one of the classes school offers before school .there were more programs ( and after school ones too) but he wasn't interested in any (ugh). They even had a Scrapbooking class haha. They're really trying to get more kids involved but clearly my kid is just stubborn. :p I'll check the library too - if they had a minecraft group he's be stoked lol.
 
My kid isn't much of a 'joiner' either. He did martial arts classes for awhile, but got bored with that. (I'm still going though because I like it! :unsure:) The main thing I was concerned about was that he get exercise. He's only 7 and going to first grade was a big step for him socially and energetically, so I was inclined to let it slide.

Then my DH took him skiing in December and he sparked. That's all he wants to do is go skiing. DH likes skiing so they've been out every weekend on the mountain. It's great Daddy son time.

When I think about this I think of a couple things. If my son doesn't like it he isn't going to want to do it. Awakening enthusiasm seems to be the ticket for him. And I'm not sure if I could rely on my kid to awaken that enthusiasm all by himself. I think he could like something (like dancing) but if the teacher or coach is a loser, he's not going to do it. Doing something with Daddy really made the difference. Daddy loves it, Daddy inspired kid because they get to spend time together.

I think if my kid was older (a teenager) I would have a different comment!
 
Zach is convinced all organized activities - sometimes even scouts - is a stupid, pointless, waste of his time. So... we don't even try to get him involved anymore. He knows if he wants to sign up for something he can, however he also has to stay in it the whole time and can't chose to quit. He's always been this way and we're constantly amazed each year when he chooses to continue in Scouts.
Ryan however loves signing up for things and at one time our week looked like:
Sunday - Choir, Monday - do all of the week's homework, Tuesday - Soccer then straight to Scouts, Wednesday - church, Thursday - Soccer, Friday - Open, Saturday - soccer practice/games and Scouting stuff.

After that I told him that he could only have 2 commitments at a time - choir and scouts won.
 
But for bribes - Zach works well to be bribed with XBox gift cards and things he collects like certain book sets or pricier lego sets.
 
What about Boy Scouts?

Cooper really wants to do Scouts, but he has to be in first grade to do it.

He's not a big sports kid. He likes soccer and floor hockey, but he doesn't focus enough at this age for me to keep paying for him to do it.
 
my kid is way too competitive... and throws a fit when he looses... and then everything is stupid. :glare: So, yeah... I keep him classes that are more for social than competitive. To get him to go back, I usually have to use guilt... not my most proud parenting moments... but it works on him. :o

How about volunteering? Walking the dogs at the humane society... sitting with younger kids as they practice their reading... I don't know what they have, but maybe there would be something he would like and be able to give back, too. :)
 
I know you said no art, but we have cartooning, maybe that would be an option.

We also seem to have off the beaten path classes/camps. Star Wars, Hunger Games and another one is Half-Blood (games and things inspired by the books and movies of Star Wars/Hunger Games/Percy Jackson). We even have an Amazing Race one that meets on Saturdays and uses the shows as inspiration and they play games, scavenger hunts, puzzles, and learn about the world. Maybe something based on a show he might like.

What about a Chef's class or camp? or a Grow, Harvest, Eat - grow, and eat what you grow? Scavenger Hunt camps and day trips? Photography? Mad Science? Zoo/Animal?

Good Luck.
 
I have one that is just not interested in being involved in organized activities. I worried about it for a while but now we've kind of just given in to that being who she is. She does a few short term things that she enjoys, running club and art club. We've decided that as long as she's not sedentary or closed off it's okay. We make it clear that if she's interested in something we'll give it a go. I think she's going to do a cooking camp this summer.
 
Two of ours are in soccer and the other two don't do anything. The oldest did t-ball for a couple seasons when younger and soccer for a couple seasons. But it's just not his thing, so we don't push it too much. Same with the youngest son, he tried soccer once, but he's not much of one for being told what to do. :P I think he would love some of the science type classes the community college offers in the summer, but they're so darned expensive. Honestly, I'm somewhat relieved that they aren't in something because I can't imagine trying to get all 4 of them to various activities.
 
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