How Did You Plan Out Your Family?

LeeAndra

LeeAndra

Sweet Shoppe SugarBabe
It's been on my mind this week as we had a scare this past week (just a scare thankfully!), and I'm looking for some insight from other ladies as to how you planned out (if you did *lol*) the spacing between your kids. I think we've had a thread abt this before, but I couldn't find it when I did a search.

How many months/years are between your kids? How did that affect you physically and emotionally and more specifically how did you handle the pg(s) with other kids to take care of? How did that affect your spouse? How did that affect your other kids? Do you wish you'd had kids closer together in age or wish you'd had them farther apart? What is your general family dynamic like with the spacing you have between your kids? If you are finished having kids, what advice would you give someone who's still adding to her family?

TIA! You know how much I love these survey-y topics. :)
 
We didn't plan Karsten, but when he was about 8 months old, I was sad that I didn't have a baby anymore (HA!!) and we decided to try for Josiah so they would be close together. They're 20 months apart and it's hellacious most of the time, honestly. I wish we had waited till Karsten was 2 to start trying for another because *for me* having two babies was just too hard.
 
We wanted ours to be 2 years apart, and I did get pregnant in the right time frame to have them be just at 2 years apart, but I ended up having 3 miscarriages and my kids are 33 months apart, we have one of each and I had my tubes tied.

I think it works well, they play good together, Keira was old enough to understand about the baby. And still remembers me going to the hospital and having Cooper.
 
Well my second 2 weren't planned. There is 9 years between 1 & 2 and thats just way too much. There is just about 3 between 2 & 3 and I think its just about perfect! #2 was potty trained so I didn't have to worry about diapers, he was old enough to help some and yet still adore his sister. They still play well together now (8 & 5) even though they are opposite sexes.
 
We planned and planned but nothing worked at first lol. We started trying when I was 27 and DH was 29. We got pregnant right away so it looked like the plan was working for 3 kids roughly 2 1/2 yrs apart. But I lost that baby at 13 weeks and then could not get prenant. We went through fertility treatments for 3+ years until finally giving up...which is of course when I got pregnant. I was 1 month shy of 31 when DS was born. DH was deployed until DS was 18 mos and by then I was 32..we started trying immediately when he got home...I wasn't too surprised when it was 2 years later and we still weren't pregnant. By then though I was okay with it just being the 3 of us...until we got surprised again with DD.

So plans go awry..I really always wanted at least 3 but by the time DD was born I was almost 35 and just couldn't see another prenancy in my future...(both were difficult). Soo...they are exactly 3 1/2 years apart and so far it's been a wonderful age difference. DS is old enough to still want to play with her and stuff..but he's also a great big help with her and loves to be so.
 
Emma was a rough baby. She was colicky, she was allergic to every formula we tried, she was extremely needy...like i said, she was rough. My husband had pretty much decided he didn't want any more kids because she "ruined" him. By the time she was about 6 months old, I had forgoten all about the 'bad' times because they were happening less and less. When she turned 1, I kinda started hinting that I would like to have another baby. I grew up in a big family, and I wanted the same for Emma. FINALLY about a month before she turned 2 he decided we could start trying. The girls are almost exactly 2 1/2 years apart and it has been the perfect distance for us. Like most kids, they are totally different. Emma was a very mature 2 1/2 when Madelyn was born and they are just now starting to have the 'sibling rivalry.' I know that I personally couldn't have handled them being much closer than they were.

I think the fact that I was chasing a 2 year old around really helped me to stay active during my pregnancy. I was more tired the 2nd time around, but that just sorta prepared me for things to come LOL
 
I had 2 the same year - One in Jan and one in Dec (not planned)- I DO NOT recommend it - I am in the Traci school - It was hellacious - (perfect word) I don't even remember most of it - I waited 9 years to have another - Planned and It was great - I do think If I had done it again I would have at least 5 to 6 years in between each one, then for me you have the time with each one. It was so nice that when the other 2 went to school, I was home with Dylan and had that time with him.
 
5 years between my two. I am one of those who has horrible pregnancies--I have to get IV nutrition and hyrdration from about 6 weeks to 6 months. It's so freakin' annoying. I could handle it mentally when I was pregnant with my first, but I knew there was NO way I could handle a bad pregnancy and a toddler. So we waited and got lucky on the first try when we were finally ready.

The pregnancy was even worse the second time around, and I was in the hospital for several family birthdays, holidays, school parties (pre-k) and more. I hated it so much. We had the tubes tied during my c-section and figured that if we felt like God wanted us to continue to grow our family, we would adopt.

I've never regretted the five year difference. I think it was a healthy emotional gap for Avery...to understand that she was still sooooooooo important to us even though there was a new baby who required lots of attention. I think toddlers can't really grasp that as well, which is what leads to a lot of terrible 2s and birth order stereotypes that you hear about.
 
Our first wasn't planned, we just figured it happens it happens. The 2nd wasn't planned & although we avoided relations to prevent it from happening too close together, it eventually just happened, they are 24 months & 4 days apart. And now the 3rd...definately NOT planned, in fact we were good with 2 & were planning for hubby to have a V this winter when his work is slower...never got that far...the 2 younger kids will be 13 months & 4 days apart.

The 2nd pregnancy was probably most difficult as far as heath-wise, I was on insulin shots from about 12 weeks until delivery. We were also going through lots of other family/household changes at that time, lost our business/house with the down turned economy. So it was stressful. Emotionally though, pregnancy was pretty easy. DD still liked to nap & was pretty easy to entertain.

This pregancy has been the best healthwise, except for the morning sickness the first 2 months (didn't have with the other 2). A lot harder to keep up with 2 active toddlers (the little one started walking at 9 months), its a lot more tiring & the belly is a lot bigger, therefore creating a hazard of sorts. The little one is the right height to be in my 'blindspot' so we run into each other a lot, also doing simple things like cooking dinner or reaching into cupboards is more difficult because the belly is in the way. The oldest doesn't 'nap' daily, but will have quiet time, so I don't get to rest during the day, if I did, I would wake up to something cut up, colored on, painted, or who knows what else...the little one does nap, so we at least get to have some quiet time. That being said, getting a shower or accomplishing anything that requires me to be away from the same room as them is difficult, & must be done before they wake up (before 7am) or after the dad gets home (5pm+). I would say the hardest part was the first 2 months & the last 6 weeks.
 
JJ was not planned.. like AT ALL.. but they are 2 years and 3 months to the day apart and it is okay for us. I'm glad they are not farther apart.
 
My oldest two (Wes and Claire) are 19 months apart. Love it! The first six months w/ Wes being a toddler and Claire being an infant were a little tough, but it's been great ever since. They adore each other. Definitely fuss a little w/ each other, like any brother and sister do, but they do genuinely love each other and usually play well together.

Then Sadie is 3 3/4 years younger than Claire. I love that they are both girls since they are spaced further apart than I would prefer siblings to be. I think that will help them to be closer than had Sadie been a little boy, ya know.

I love the ages and spaces between my kids. I love the closeness between the first two and the gap between #2 and #3. When Sadie (#3) was born, the older two were old enough to do most everything for themselves, and they could play together and entertain themselves while I tended to the baby.
 
We planned on Chloe, but it took awhile. i was on the pill for the first few years of our marriage but when i got off the pill it still took around 2 years to get pregnant for some reason. We weren't really planning on having Emma but we weren't trying to prevent it either. we just were like 'whatever happens, happens'. we knew we wanted another but didnt have a timeline really. Chloe was almost 3 when Emma was born. Now Aidan was a whole other story! right after i had Emma i got on the pill. well, it obviously didnt work cause when Emma was 3 mos old we found out i was pregnant again with Aidan. so he was a huge surprise. i remember crying cause i didnt want to be pregnant again. i hate it, lol. so i was a tad bit resentful :o but i wouldn't give him back for the world. :wub: he's such a character. i think boys are easier than girls, lol. we're done now. i had DH get fixed when i was still preggo with Aidan :D i didnt want anymore accidents! but i still get baby fever sometimes. my brother's fiance is pregnant and i'm SOOOOO excited!!!
 
We planned on Jillian 3 years after we were married. All it took is one shot - LOL - and I was pregnant. I know I wanted my kids close together in age. My sister and I are 4 years apart & we never got along and we are not close. I wanted my kids to have something that I did not. Shortly after Jillian turned 1 I got pregnant with Evie.

Now - I thought it was going to take longer to get pregnant, but my girls are 20 months apart & I love it. They are close and play together really well, and they do have their moments, but it is good. It hasn't been easy raising the two close in age, but it's never dull.

We are done with babies. I don't think I could ever go through it again and neither did DH. I will admit that the second one was hell on my body and mind. I was extremely sore, sick and psycho with Evie. And Evie - well, she is an entirely different being than I have ever anticipated.

We have our hands full, but I cannot imagine it any other way.
 
When we decided to start having kids, it took us three months to get pregnant. Then, when DS was 14 months old, we decided to try for another one. Well, actually, we were supposed to start the following month, but I got pregnant that same month. So they are 23 months apart, which was good, since my second ds was a hard baby. He cried ALL the time. Seriously.

DS number 3 was not planned, we were in the middle of renovations and my kitchen was totally ripped out when I learned I was pregnant. At the time DS 2 was 11 months old. They have 20 months apart. I found it more difficult to go from 2 kids to 3, because you don't have enough arms! lol! 20 months of difference is just a little bit to difficult for me.

We might be trying for a 4th in 2012, so my youngest will be 4 years old and my oldest will be 8 years old. We'll see. :p
 
Well, I come from a big family so I always wanted a big family with kids about 2 years apart. Then I had #1. It was the hardest year of my life. By far. No one could have ever prepared me for motherhood. Fortunately, it got better all the time and once she was sleeping through the night, I felt rested and refreshed. However, I was terrified of having another baby because the first was such a huge adjustment for me (and she was totally planned). So honestly, we prayed about it, felt like the timing was right to try again and we just put our faith in God and His plan. So I got preggo with #2 and was stressed/worried about having 2 the entire pregnancy! And let me tell you... for me, #2 was a MILLION times easier than the first. Because I knew what to expect for the most part. Not that it was easy, but SO much better. Oh, and they are 2 years apart.

They are BEST friends. They spend so much time together. I know it helps that they are both girls, but it is great. I love how close in age they are and what good friends they are. I liked the spacing so we tried it again with #3... she is 2 years and 4 months younger than #2. And I'm loving that spacing too. The oldest two play a lot so I am able to take care of the babe. Once she sleeps through the night, I'll be good again.

Pregnancy is tricky. I have a rough first semester, but fortunately, the girls would play together and entertain themselves so it was okay. And for the second child, my oldest was independent enough and little enough that she was okay. I slept on the couch during the day a LOT while they played. It is harder, but somehow it works out.

My spouse is the best ever. He picks up where I am lacking. When I couldn't do everything I needed to as a housewife and mother, he would pick up the pieces.. play with kids, make dinner, clean, everything.. .and he was great about it. We both love the spacing.

I couldn't handle being pregnant and having a baby (less than 8 or 12 months). Babies are so demanding and pregnancy is exhausting. But, if my babies slept through the night sooner, that might make a big difference. For us, this 2 or even 3 year spacing seems nice. Past the baby stage but still close enough that hopefully the kids will be close.

There's my novel.
 
We decided to start trying to get pregnant about 7-8 months after we got married, and got pregnant with Kaylie right away. Then when she was about 18mo old I think we decided we were ready for another baby and got pregnant with Kelsie right away. So they are 27 months and 1 day apart and for us it was perfect, Kaylie was an angel of a toddler and potty trained a few months after Kelsie was born so we didn't have two in diapers for very long at all. I was pretty sure I wanted another baby but DH was fine with just the two girls, even though everyone repeatedly asked us when we were going to try for a boy. When the girls were almost 5 and 2.5 we got a little surprise thanks to a slight date miscalculation on my part lol, I was happy to be having another baby but was SO nervous to tell DH but he was actually super excited when I told him! So when Kyle was born the girls were 5.5 and 3 which was actually great since both of the girls were older and could entertain themselves and Kelsie had been potty trained for almost a year so we just had the one in diapers. But I will say that boys are SO much more work than girls, but even though he's such a handful I wouldn't trade Kyle for anything but we often say it's a good thing he wasn't our first baby or he'd be an only child lol!! We were definitely done after him so I had a tubal right after he was born and neither of us have ever regretted it. Luckily though I have 2 nieces and a nephew that are under a year old so I get my baby fix from them and then hand them back to their parents when I'm done!
 
We have 3 boys. Jordan, the oldest, wasn't planned. At all. We were newly married and I was still in college but my birth control didn't work and along came our little surprise.

There are 3 1/2 years between Jordan and Carter (my middle child) Carter really wasn't planned, per say, but I ran out of BC and he was the result of that "one time" before I could get it filled again. 3 1/2 years was perfect though. Jordan was out of diapers before Carter was born and he was such a good little helper. They are still close at ages 11 and 7 1/2 - sometimes too close. Carter has a hard time understanding why Jordan will get certain priviledges, such as staying up later, than he does.

Since we ended up with 2 boys first, we knew that we would try one more time for the girl. However, money was tight and having 3 in daycare wasn't feasible. It wasn't until Carter was in school that we felt like we had a handle on things well enough to try for the third. It took longer to conceive this time around. Then when we did, I miscarried at about 5 or 6 weeks. Finally we conceived again, only to find out at our 20 week ultrasound that it was another boy. I was devistated and bawled like a baby because I knew that this would be our last. Avery (our youngest) is almost 7 years younger than Carter but I wouldn't trade him for anything - even a girl.

It was hard having an infant and 2 older children who are active in sports. He gets dragged (well, not literally) to every practice and every game for his two older brothers. And now at 2 years of age, he is not interested in sitting for a whole game.

I really wish that I could have kept going to get my girl but my boys would have to sacrifice their activities because money would be too tight and I just don't think that there is enough of me to go around to work a full time job, raise more than 3 kids and be a good wife to my DH. So the baby factory was shut down 3 months after Avery was born with a sterilization procedure called Essure. I still get baby fever and still get emotional about never being able to have a girl, but I know that we did the right thing for our family.

Wow - sorry about the novel!
 
Mine are 2 years 7 months apart, and it is perfect. They play together and love each other, of course they have the perfect mother, so I don't know why they wouldn't. ; )

I found out I was pregnant with Max right after Jack turned 2, and we were sitting in a restaurant later that week and Jack was just sitting there coloring and we were having this normal conversation and I couldn't stop crying because I thought we were CRAZY for starting all over! But Max was a totally different kind of baby...he loved to sleep and hardly ever cried.

We want to adopt a third because I just don't think my mind or our marriage can handle another 9 months of crazy.
 
My first 2 are only 13 months apart. Seriously, Katie was the easiest baby EVER (and she's still amazingly good), so we decided, "This parenting thing isn't so hard! Let's get this over with!" The first 6-12 month after Paul was born were insane. Seriously. Now life is still crazy, but they are best friends. They play so well together, and I love it.

Paul and Averi are 2 years apart. I think that's a perfect age gap. Young enough that there's no jealousy or rivalry, but old enough to be somewhat helpful and a good example.

We're planning on having about 3 years between Averi and the next. 4 kids in 5 years is just a bit to much for this mother. I think if my first 2 weren't so close, I might have tried doing each 2 years apart because I love that gap. But that's not going to work. And Paul is more than a handful. If he were a girl and like my other 2, I would probably already be pregnant.
 
Carrie and Molly are 18 months apart. Carrie, my first was unplanned, but she is a true joy. I love her so much. We wanted the kids close mostly because my DH was 40 when Carrie was born and he didn't want to be too old. So we had Molly right away. I wished they were a little further apart just for my sanity. It was really hard at the beginning because Carrie is a high maintenance child (although that has gotten better with allergies, which was a source of issues for us) and she didn't always understand that the baby needed tending to. Molly is more clingy and Carrie is more selfeliant which helps. But I would love not to change two sets of diapers! I now have Mirena in because we are done (which has been concreted by the fact that my DSD (20) is now pregnant!) My advice would be to do what feels right for you and no one else and that you'll know when your family is complete!
 
We didn't start trying to get pregnant until we had been married about 3 years. We got pg immediately but I had a m/c at 13 weeks and it took us another 6 months to get pregnant again. When Corbin was about 18 months we started thinking we were ready for another. I went off b/c and we got pg the first month. DD #1 and DD #2 are exactly 2.5 years apart. The decision to jump to #3 was a little tougher for me to make. We had always planned to have 3 but DD #1 was really hard. She was sick a lot and had two sets of ear tubes and her tonsils out by the time she was 2. Thankfully, DD #2 was super easy and made me think I could probably do it all over again. Plus, we wanted to try for a boy too. :) I went off b/c and found out I was pg again the next month, right after dd #2 turned 2. She and ds are 2.75 years apart. Dh had a vasectomy at the beginning of last year and we are done, done, done. :) That spacing has been about perfect for us really. The kids are far enough apart that I haven't had 2 in diapers at once but they're close enough that they play well together and will have things in common as they are growing up. For me, the adjustment from 0 kids to 1 was definitely the hardest. It turned my world upside down. After that crazy time, the move to 2 and then to 3 seemed like a piece of cake. :p
 
My first two are 19 months apart. I was an only child and dh is not close with his brother who is five years younger, so we wanted them close in age. (Plus ds was *such* a good baby!) The baby/toddler stages were actually okay - unless I've blocked that out. It's the current stage - 11 1/2 yo boy & 10 yo girl that is making me miserable. They fight All. The. Time.

Number 3 was a 'bonus' (we were on the fence about adding to our family; weren't trying/weren't not trying) that arrived when the older two were 7 and 5 1/2. That age gap has worked out fairly well overall. #3 has spent a lot of time getting drug to her siblings' practices/games/meets/events and it wasn't always fun trying to pay attention to them and keep her quiet and occupied. And I used to be a little sad that she'd be like 10 or 11 when the oldest went off to college; now I think it will be nice for her to be an 'only child' for a few years. Overall though it has been fine and the big kids are so helpful with her.

DH got snipped when #3 was 9 months old. Financially he was not comfortable with anymore children and I respected that. I get twinges now and then but 99% of the time I know it was the right decision.
 
My boys are 15 months apart, which was planned. They would have been closer together had my cycles returned sooner.

It took DH and I 10 years to decide to have kids. Partly because we knew we wanted them as close together in age as possible. I'd rather have everyone in diapers and get it over with than finally get one potty trained and have to start over again. Not to mention they would be able to do the same activities & maybe be on the same teams if they were the same gender.

I was 33 when we started TTC, 34 when DS1 was born and 35 when DS2 was born. Both pregnancies were easy. The recovery was hard. DS1 was demon baby. Non sleeping, constantly screaming demon baby. But that didn't deter us! I'd had a cs and my doc said wait at least 4 months, so we did and when DS1 was 6 months old I got pg again. DS2 was angel baby. He was the constantly sleeping, placid & happy baby. Which is just as well because I contracted bronchitis in the hospital and was run down and fighting it for over 10 months. We thought about another but the bronchitis was just too much for me and I was 36, I'd be at least 37 when the next was born & the risks were getting to high for my comfort.

They are 6 & 7 now and we are looking into adoption through the foster care system, ideally of a child in the 3-6 range, younger than DS2 anyway, which make take a couple years.
 
Anthony & Ellie are 2 years and almost 3 months apart. It really is perfect, especially now that they are both in school.

I had said for a while that we were not going to have anymore, but I have baby fever right now. I have an appointment at the end of March to see what is going on. IF I am pregnant then Anthony will be almost 9 years old and Ellie will be just over 6 1/2 years old. I see them with other babies now and I think the age gap will be interesting to say the least LOL.
 
We tried for five years to get pregnant. We decided to adopt, and then got pregnant. We were told that we would never get pregnant, so it was a complete shock to us. Six months later, I found out I was pregnant again! (again, a complete shock!) We never in a million years thought that we'd get pregnant again so easily. My first pregnancy wasn't bad, but my second was an absolute nightmare. I was throwing up 24 hours a day. I was admitted to the hospital with kidney stones. It was AWFUL ... especially when I was trying to take care of another child.

We knew that we still wanted to adopt, so we started the adoption process when our oldest was 1 and our youngest was 8 months old. We were told that it would take 18-24 months. It took 8. :huh: Needless to say, I'm busy and have my hands full. My boys are 16 months apart, and my daughter (youngest) and middle son are exactly 12 months apart in age. When we brought our daughter home, our oldest had just turned three, our middle son was 1 1/2 and our daughter was 8 months. They are now 5, (almost) 4 and (almost) 3.

I have to admit, I do like having my boys so close in age. They play so well together. I wish the adoption process would have taken 18-24 months like our agency said, because having three this close in age (especially with our daughter - attachment has been very difficult) is really hard and draining.
 
This is such a personal decision and based on so many specific intricacies. My brother and his wife very carefully planned their own children to be 3 years apart - because my SIL believed that my brother and I (3 years apart) got along better than her brother and she (2 years apart) did. She got her girls 3 years apart and they fight like cats and dogs - it's horrible to watch the older one be so mean to the younger one. That being said, personalities of the kids and family circumstances can make a big difference.

Anyway - our situation

21 months between Alex and Henry. We started trying for #2 when Alex was 8 months old and lost a baby, then got pg with Henry. Their age difference has been great. They are the best of friends.

19 months between Henry and Jack. Pretty much the same as 21 months - great age difference, they get along great and love to play together.

2 1/2 years between Jack and Sam. This is an ok difference although not my favorite. They were really in different places - Jack very big boy and Sam a tiny newborn, not into the same things at all. Jack really did adore Sam though and still does.

3 1/2 years been Sam and Hazel & Gracie. This is not my favorite, I wish they were closer together.

YMMV. I'm all about having kids close together and being in similar stages at the same time. Makes life easier for me.
 
My first was a fairly easy baby, so we decided at 8mths to go again. Got pg straight away but miscarried. We ended up with a 19mth gap. DS was such a different baby to DD, I was really shocked at how hard it was. Everyone told me that the second is easier because you know what you're doing, etc, etc, but nothing could have prepared me for the differences between DD and DS. DS was 4 months old before he would even sit with DH without screaming (he was never out of my arms up to that point....and I mean NEVER....I had to take him to the bathroom with me, lol). It was more months before he would let anyone else near him. We had lots of issues with silent reflux and frequent night wakings (which went on until he was 11 months old). He refused to take a bottle, and nursed every 2 hours or so. It was so completely draining that even a year on, I'm still completely exhausted all the time. He got a bit better after about 8mths as the reflux started to improve, and we only turned a corner with him at around his first birthday. Now he's 19mths old and DD is 3. They've done a complete reversal of personalities - DS is such an angel now, and his sister is the one who is causing all the headaches these days! If I could do it again, I'd leave a bigger gap. DS is now the age that DD was when he was born and I just cannot imagine bringing a baby home to him - he's such a baby himself. I feel so sorry for DD, and feel that I missed out on a lot of time with her. Pregnancy (both times) was very tough for me, so I feel like I really missed a lot of her early days (from about a year old up to about 2 and a half, and that's a big chunk of her life :(. And I always feel now like I have to make it up to her. Parenting is just so hard, that I think, no matter what you do, you'll feel guilty or feel like you did it wrong...
 
We tried for Gunner & got pregnant right away- he was born 9 weeks early because I had pre-eclampsia, so that kinda scared us! We decided to have another one after we bought our house after Gunner turned 3... after 2 months we got pregnant & Lydia was born 1 week before his 4th birthday. I'm sad that they won't be in high school together, but at the same time I love that Gunner is old enough to want to be a big brother!

The pregnancy with Lydia was great in the sense that I didn't get pre-eclampsia again, but I was sooo tired! I often nodded off & woke up over and over during our morning cuddle time when he was watching Blues Clues! It was awful!

I'm not sure if we'll want anymore kids or not yet....
 
We never planned anything, after our first (a total surprise) we would just start trying to get pregnant when DH would get tired of listening to me gripe for another baby :D As far as have many kids to have we felt and thought we were done at 4 but that didn't quite work out for us and we were blessed with baby #5. I do know that I am done because the thought of seeing another positive pregnancy test sends me into an anxiety attack!! :D :D :D

My kids have this spacing:

#1 born in May 1998
#2 born in April 2002
#3 born in Nov 2004
#4 born in Jan 2008
#5 born in Sept 2009

My oldest 2 (both girls and almost 4 years apart) get along fairly well and I think it will only get better with time (this is the same age difference between me and my sister and we are BEST FRIENDS). Girl #2 and Boy #1 (2 year and 9 month age difference) fight like cats and dogs!!! Boy #1 and Boy #2 ( 3 year and 2 month difference) play well together but boy #1 gets frustrated when we tell him he has to basically bow to the every whim of the boy #2 (2 year old). Everyone loves the baby, boy #3!!! I am hoping when boy #3 is a little older him and Boy #2 will play well together (18 months apart) and not hate each other because they are so close in age!!!
 
Owen wasn't planned at all. IF we have anymore they'll be atleast 6 yrs apart (owen's 6 in Nov) and that's a big if. My sister and I are bout 4 yrs apart and we didn't get along growing up (mostly ... ok fully ... due to my mother) and my brother and I are about 8 years apart and I can't stand more than a day with him. But he is 16 and in that I know it all stage.

I wanted my kids to be 3-4 yrs apart but yeah we're living in my sister in law's basement and most days I hate Jeff so there really isn't the right place to bring a baby into.
 
So far, we just have Avalynne, and she is 2 years, 2 months. We tried for a couple months for #2, but it didn't happen at that time, so we are waiting a bit to try again.

DH and I decided a long time ago that we didn't want to put pressure on ourselves to have baby #2 by "such and such a date" because we know things don't always work out that way. DH's mother on the other hand was pressuring us that we should have our kids no more that 2 years apart. Her reasoning is that the 2 kids will be close in age and also close as friends.

Unfortunately, I know first hand that her reasoning is completely untrue. One of my sisters is 2 years older than me, and we haven't got along since I came home from the hospital (she bit my fingers so hard she left indents, lol). As we grew up it got worse, and now that we are in our mid to late 20's, we no longer speak to one another. Another of my sisters is 10 years older than me, and we are best friends. So age makes no difference, its personality.

Anyways, that was long and somewhat pointless. My point is that I decided to go with my feeling of when the right timing was, and didn't get wrapped up in the whole idea of planning for a second. When it comes, it comes. And we will be thrilled!
 
the only one of my four that was planned was the last one, Quinten. lol I definitely didn't plan on getting pregnant with Cody at 17 and not in a serious relationship. And I didn't plan on getting pregnant with Jenna at 21 and not even being with her bio-father. When Des and I started dating, and then got married, more kids wasn't something we really discussed, although I knew he wanted "one of his own" eventually. So I wasn't surprised when I got pregnant with Xander at 25. And well, Quinten, we decided that if we were going to have any more children, I wanted to be done before I turned 30. I had him when I was 28. lol

So my kids are almost 4 years apart, other than the last two, who are 2.5 years apart.

I come from a family with 3 siblings - my brother and I are 11 months apart (I was born 6 weeks early), the next in line from me is 10 years younger (my dad's second marriage), and then 4 years later my baby sister arrived. So 15 years between the oldest and the youngest.
 
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We first decided we wanted our kids young. We wanted to enjoy running around with them. (and I'm thankful for this) It took 3 months to get pregnant with DS aka Thing 1. I puked the whole 9 months with him, but it was a science, I had it timed and it didn't really bug me. The hard part was he came at 36 weeks.
Then we decided talking about #2 after he was about a year old. We decided to try again and after 3 months again we got pregnant with DD. But my fears came true when I went into labor at 31 Weeks.
They are 20 months apart and Super super super close. I love it, and they love each other. People constantly ask me if they are twins. They were both great babies and have never been horrible kids really.
After two early labors, I really can't bring myself to knowingly risk a third baby, even with smooth pregnancies. We have one boy and one girl, we have our perfect family. I think its a personal decision though, everyone has their right to what they think.
 
My girls are 3 years apart. It's a great age gap IMO. The older one is able to help out when the baby arrives, and even now at 3 and 6yrs old, they are best friends.
 
I got pregnant with my oldest within the first 30 days after my health insurance for my first *real* job kicked in. Our 2nd was conceived right around his 1st birthday, and was a total shocker. I remember sitting in the car after my test and being unable to believe it. I was in grad school, I had a one year old, and my husband was making $200/week -- before taxes. It was one of the darkest periods of my life. Luckily, the pregnancy was easy, and she was an amazing baby. So my first two are 21 months apart, and still very close. My son is now a sophomore and his sister is in 8th grade and they are very much a unit (often against me). I actually liked having the two so close together.... diapers, potty training.... they went through it all together.

We decided to try for a 3rd after I graduated and was established in my job. The first two conceptions had been so easy, that I thought we'd try, and pregnant I'd be. No. I had a m/c and it took us awhile. So my youngest was born when my son was 5 and my older daughter was a few months from turning 4. I was ready for the whole newborn thing and enjoyed it so much. The plan was for us to have a 4th child that would be about 2 years younger than Chesney (our 3rd), but my pregnancy and in particular the delivery were so medically involved that my mom, who is a physician's assistant, told me that she'd shoot me if I got pregnant again. Honestly, juggling 3 kids was insane, too. It was just too much for me for awhile. By the time I was back on track (which would be when she was 4 or 5), the idea of going through the whole baby stage was not appealing.

Now they're 15, almost 14, and 10, and I've got no desire in the world to add another child. It's still possible I guess, although I turn 40 this year, but we feel complete.
 
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