Homeschooling Mamas.. help?

kscwgirl

kscwgirl

New member
I posted this on FB but I would love some input.

my 9 year old is really struggling with math. Like..crying every night struggling. Math is a struggle for me too, so we dont' mesh well. Her dad tries to help her but he gets frustrated and then she gets more frustrated and then I want to scream. She's stuck on addition in rocket math and everyone else in her class is on subtraction and she tells me she's too stupid to figure it out which breaks my heart. How do I help her? To me it's just.. this plus this equals this and that's just how it is and she is a "why" kid... and I don't have answers. I don't know how to make this click in her head. HELP!!!!
 
have you tried doing games with her like adding dominoes or dice?

I've gotta get some zzzzzzs, but I'll try to think of stuff tonight
 
The rocket math is a timed sheet of problems and she has a goal she has to meet to move on to the next level. I think it's the timed thing throwing her off but she insists its not.
 
Oh, that's so hard! Not believing in yourself often trumps the knowledge and abilities that you do have.

I would probably find ways to build up her confidence by practicing easier problems.

I'm not sure what size of numbers she is dealing with, but does she know the little speed tricks? Like 18+36 is the same as 10+30+8+6 is 40+14 is 54? Or if she's adding up chains of numbers look to make the easy 10's?

I'm a huge math nerd. If you post an example of what she's working on I can see where I can help. Addition is math that I literally use every day. Watch where you use it, and include her in the problem.

Also, to see if it's the time that's messing her up, can she do one untimed? Going through it without the pressure may help build up her confidence, and from there you can teach her how to speed up. Is she "slow" because she gets hung up on one or two problems and doesn't know to skip them and come back? Is she relying on her fingers or dots? Both are helpful tools, but teaching your brain the tricks will generally yield faster results.

I wish I could come help. I love empowering kids with the ability to do math.
 
I'm not a homeschooler yet but we are planning on starting when DD enters kindergarten. Has she gotten the basic concept down yet? If so have you thought of breaking the sheet down into smaller blocks to start with? Let her do 15 or 25 to start with. See how that impacts her time. Maybe she is getting discouraged by the sheer number of problems she has to complete. If she completes that first block in an acceptable time then let her know and encourage her to keep going by then doing half the sheet, etc, etc.

As far as the 'stupid' part...hmm. Maybe set aside Math rewards. Make a goal sheet/achievement chart. Make the goals small (10 problems in x amount of minutes, 20 problems in x amount of minutes, etc.) As she achieves each one she is awarded Super Smart Math Points. The points could then be converted into something she enjoys (extra time added on to bed time, special dessert, or something else that will motivate her.) At the end of the week she could add up her 'bank balance' and choose her reward. This will help her work toward a goal, see her improvement and hopefully combat her feelings as she moves toward the goal.

You could also start a progress chart for her showing her times. Even though she is not completing the entire sheet right now if you track her performance and she sees that her time is improving that may be an incentive to keep plugging away it. Maybe a little mountain chart with her in a car chugging up the side as her times increase. (Maybe corny...9 was a long time ago;)

Dealing with her frustration is probably the biggest thing. I totally went through the same thing with multiplication back in the day! I cried, I gnashed teeth (sadly there were photos taken), but in the end I learned. Math was my struggle too...still is. But the frustration of 'not being able to do it' held me back. My Mama worked with me relentlessly but my mental block of it being too big of a task, and the fact that it wasn't easy for me made the whole process more difficult on the both of us.

As far as why. Here is a little project you two could do together. I plan on making one for DD as we head toward addition. This will take it from just numbers on a page to a visual of what combining is. Even if you just used marbles, pennies, whatever. I guess that could be a why as to how addition works. They why of 'why must I do this' is a different story. I guess explain that addition is something that she will always need. Point out how you use math daily (your bank book, recipes, making change, etc.).

Here is a tip I found online that you might want to look at.

Like I said I don't homeschool yet but I do empathize with you because I was your daughter 20+ years ago! Good luck and I'll say a prayer for you both:)
 
Oh dear... that is tough! I remember those days of timed tests... the pressure of it when you don't know it cold! And I remember being tortured with flash cards from my mom until I was in tears and she was so annoyed with me... haha :unsure:

I just came across this article on how to help a child who is struggling in math - http://letsplaymath.net/2008/05/06/struggling-math-student/

I'm probably going to be coming at this from a "too young" level... my son just turned 6, so I'm in that mind set :D However he insisted last month that he wanted to start learn double digit addition since he was getting bored with single addition *sigh*.

My son is a very visual learner, so as much as he loves math, we struggle with just plain ol' "worksheets"... I found we had the best success if he could see the numbers broken down using tally marks, poker chips, etc. For example, having color coded cards and using legos to "see" the numbers... http://kidsactivitiesblog.com/6413/lego-math-activities

Another fav of his is coloring... so we do a lot of worksheets like this where he does the addition to find out what color to use - http://www.arsanto.me/addition-color-by-number-printables

Learning Wrap-ups could help, too... we are just starting to use these... they have others besides addition and there are workbooks, etc.

Games... my son loves to play games too... Here are game ideas using a deck of cards... http://pepnonprofit.org/mathematics.html and another link for other games with items around the house - http://learningideasgradesk-8.blogspot.com/2012/07/ten-fun-math-games-for-kids.html

Could create an adding bingo game or like Heather mention, dominoes.

I'd go back to the "basics" and try to make it fun and have those single digits become second nature... so that when adding 34+78... you are looking at 4+8 on the right and 3+7+1 on the left... smoosh the numbers together and what do you get? This seems to be working well with kiddo...

Here is my pinterest board for math (equations)... maybe something here will help you... http://pinterest.com/mamabee/hs-math-equations/
 
Oh, that's so hard.

One of my daughters struggles with math, too. We're supposed to do timed fact sheets daily, but I stopped timing them because it just wasn't the stress and struggle for her.

If there any way you could speak to her teacher and see about her trying it without being timed and see if that makes a difference?

Maybe you can practice at home with rewards so that it gets easier for her. Also, you can try having her add objects (M&Ms to practice the concepts).
 
Another idea: don't tell her that the sheet is being timed but then watch the time anyway. Take the pressure off and see if it makes a difference. The pressure of the timing might be what is causing the block.
 
I struggle with the opposite problem with my son--that timing him is sometimes the only thing that will bring him back to earth. LOL!

There is some GREAT advice here. I hope that you find the perfect thing to bring back her self confidence. I would suggest you find a few games to play and yes--as boring as it might sound--it's always good to go all the way back to the beginning. I did that with my daughter's spelling because I had not found the right program until she was nine! We started with Book 1, even though it was a total walk in the park for her. LOL! At least she felt successful! And we were also able to systematically hit every rule, which I felt was totally worth the risk of boring her to death. :D
 
sorry, i am not a homeschooler but i am in a group on pinterest, where they share a lot of stuff, also on learning math:
http://pinterest.com/smith6342wecarl/kindergartenklub-com/
there might be some approaches that work for you? i know, it is not the age group but still quite cool ideas.
sometimes it's good to start over again and set up the basics. you don't have to stay there long, but it might help. i did that when i went to university in my late thirties. i had to tackle math and my last exam was like 20 years ago lol.
 
I just thought of another game. Does she like to jump rope, hula hoop, dribble a ball, swing, run laps, ride a bike in laps, etc? Maybe you can come up with an incentive for every 100 or 1000 times she does it. Have her count iterations until she messes up and write then down each time. Then you can turn those numbers into addition problems that she can practice untimed with that reward to look forward to.

I know DH has trouble doing simple addition in his head, so his mom had him play cribbage with her a lot. He's an engineer, so it hasn't held him back at all.
 
Another thing...if she is in a classroom setting how is the teacher tracking the children's progress? I read somewhere a while back that a lot of teachers track progress by sticker charts or some other visual in the classroom. Students that complete daily tasks in a set amount of time, to a certain accuracy rate, or to some other performance indicator get stickers/recognition. Those that don't get nothing. This tracking system can further discourage students that are having a harder time with a particular concept. It could be that your little one is trying to compare her progress to that of her friends and that is bringing her down. In the short term while she is still mastering this topic feelings like that are hard to deal with and drag her confidence down.

Maybe a conversation with the teacher is in order? Just a thought I had this morning.
 
I'm definitely not a home schooler, but have you talked to her teacher about it? Maybe she could give you some tips and tricks, or give your daughter a little extra assistance. My son is in first grade and is a very young first grader. He still is working on his fine motor skills and he struggles with handwriting. His teacher recommended some exercises we can do and also modified his homework. I think most teachers would want to hear if a student is really struggling and would be willing to help.
 
I ditto what Nicole said, get a simple "back to the basics" math workbook and start with the foundations again. You can use counters, and other manipulatives (here on lakeshore learning) to visually play out the equations. That has been a big thing for DS, to see the math in front of him and to touch or move objects around. :)
 
There are lots of great suggestions here. Just another one from me - my kids really enjoy Dreambox learning, and it really reinforces the basics in a game-type way. I'm so sorry because I know how frustrating it can be. I have that sort of thing going on with at least one of the kids all the time!
 
I talked to her teacher this morning and she said that in her opinion, Abby has a mental block against the timed aspect. She said on their next testing day she was going to tell Abby she wasn't going to time her, but actually time her, and see what happens. Abby struggles with anxiety issues and her teacher said she gets stuck on one problem and totally freaks out and loses it for the rest of the page, so we're going to work on concepts here and hopefully that will stop the freaking out.

I have bookmarked a ll these links and will look at them when iNSD isnt' stressing me out a nd I really really really appreciate all the help and advice, seriously.

Thank you!!!!
 
I just talked to DH about this, and he said it was ok if I shared his story with you.

He still can't do math quickly in his head. He has always struggled with it, and his report card had to be held back when he couldn't pass the subtraction timed test. His parents would drill him with flash cards (which he hated and kept hiding), and his mom made a bunch of copies of the timed tests that he had to do every morning at breakfast for a few years. In the end he memorized strings of answers (because he has an amazing memory) versus actually being able to do the problems in the allotted time. The principal and the teacher knew that he was a bright kid and thought he was just goofing off, so they didn't take it seriously because he excelled in everything else, but it was and still is a big problem for him.

So, he struggled with it, there were tears, his parents did everything they could, he worked really hard, and it's just not something in which he excels.

So keep encouraging her, but don't let it ruin her self-esteem. DH has never really had self-esteem issues, and it wasn't that he couldn't do the math, he was just slow at it. But guess what? He became Valedictorian in high school with all sorts of academic awards (as well as being a leader in the band and in drama) and got a full ride scholarship to an out of state college that he kept all four years. He is now an engineer, building laser sights for the military, but one of his dreams is actually to be a math teacher, perhaps at the community college at night. Aside from him telling me that he can't do math in his head, I would never have known based on how successfully he's done as long as I've known him. When we started dating he was taking Vector Calculus, which I had to take twice, and he worked so hard and got all of the help from the tutoring center, and he succeeded.

Timed tests do NOT tell her whether she's smart or not. Just remember the Tortoise and the Hare. Slow and steady still gets the work done, and chances are she will perform better given her time.
 
Megan, that story is great! I never learned to do math quickly in my head either. A series of weak math teachers in Elementary school and lack of interest on my part... well, and the fact that I memorized (like you say your DH did) instead of learning. Smart enough to get around it, LOL.

I will say that I've chosen to do Singapore math with my DS. It's all about the WHY before the HOW. It makes things go much smoother and more naturally. I love their approach to math, it's genius. I wish I had been taught math that way. It's teaching me again as I teach him which is great! Maybe I will be quick at math someday after all... :)
 
YepBrook said:
Megan, that story is great! I never learned to do math quickly in my head either. A series of weak math teachers in Elementary school and lack of interest on my part... well, and the fact that I memorized (like you say your DH did) instead of learning. Smart enough to get around it, LOL.

I will say that I've chosen to do Singapore math with my DS. It's all about the WHY before the HOW. It makes things go much smoother and more naturally. I love their approach to math, it's genius. I wish I had been taught math that way. It's teaching me again as I teach him which is great! Maybe I will be quick at math someday after all... :)
Click to expand...

:)

Yes, Math teachers make a big difference. I was really lucky in high school have really good teachers 3 out of 4 years. My precalc and calc classes were taught in such practical ways that suddenly I was able to see where all of the math I had ever learned was describing the world around me. My mom stopped with math after she worked so hard that she got a sympathy C from her geometry teacher. She wishes that she had been taught more practically now that she is crafting and using geometry all the time.

I also like to point out that even though I'm a math nerd and engineer, I almost passed out when DH was in surgery prep because I just couldn't handle the yucky talk. I still don't get statistics (they are cut and dry enough for me. I can do them because I have to, I just don't get them). I also failed nearly all of my AP US History multiple choice tests. I only passed because I could write really good essays. It wasn't that I didn't understand the concepts, I just get really confused when I take multiple choice tests. We need all types of people in the world. Being slow at math is not the end of the world and it just means you are a different type of smart, and that's ok.

Sorry...you hit one of my passionate topics. I'll be quiet now...for a little while. ;)
 
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