Showering: Man v. Woman
How to take a shower like a Woman:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, and delicates.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and walk a little faster.
3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror- make mental nots to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes…
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap wet hair in super absorbent towel and twist into a perfect hat shape.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to room wearing long dressing gown and hair turban.
17. If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas and walk a little faster.
How to take a shower like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a rumpled pile on the floor.
2. Pull underware down to ankles and then flip it with one foot across the room at an imaginary target.
3. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making a “woo-woo” sound.
4. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.
5. Get in the shower.
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
9. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower stall.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those course butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Spend the majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
12. Shampoo your hair.
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Pee.
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on the floor because shower curtain was hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17. Admire size of weiner in the mirror again.
18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor, light and fan on, medicine cabinet door open.
19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the “woo-woo” sound again.
20. Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone who didn’t laugh at the truth behind this email, there is something so very wrong with you!
How to take a shower like a Woman:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, and delicates.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and walk a little faster.
3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror- make mental nots to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes…
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap wet hair in super absorbent towel and twist into a perfect hat shape.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to room wearing long dressing gown and hair turban.
17. If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas and walk a little faster.
How to take a shower like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a rumpled pile on the floor.
2. Pull underware down to ankles and then flip it with one foot across the room at an imaginary target.
3. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making a “woo-woo” sound.
4. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your weiner and scratch your ass.
5. Get in the shower.
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
9. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower stall.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those course butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Spend the majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
12. Shampoo your hair.
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Pee.
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on the floor because shower curtain was hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17. Admire size of weiner in the mirror again.
18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor, light and fan on, medicine cabinet door open.
19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and make the “woo-woo” sound again.
20. Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone who didn’t laugh at the truth behind this email, there is something so very wrong with you!
