Have you ever broken up with someone as an adult?

Valgal

Valgal

New member
Jeremy and I had a falling out and I left for 2 days. Stayed at my brother's and started looking for apartments. We ended up working things out and are making some major changes, but still... my heart was so busted up. Even worse than my divorce. :crying:

Night and day difference than the breakups when I was a teenager, lol!

Anyone else go through anything like that?
 
the only break-up i've had as an adult was with my son's father. he was pretty abusive and i couldnt stay with him as much as i would have liked to for my son's sake.

it hurt to leave him but i more mourned the idea of having a family with my son than anything. i met my now husband 7 years ago, we blended our family together, and had a baby girl. i couldn't imagine being with anyone else ever, and i know he can't either, so we work to make sure our relationship is very strong.

if we broke up, i'd be utterly devasted but would live.
 
All of them have been when I was an adult. It especially sucks when you have to find a new home.

I hope everything is okay for you now.
 
Just my divorce when I was 26. It was a bad relationship so it wasn't hard to leave him but I mourned losing the bond I had with his children and the opportunity to see them regularly. I still am in contact with them via Facebook but haven't seen them in years and am just a friend and not a member of the family like I once was. To be fair, they do not have any relationship with their father so I guess I have more of a connection to them than he does.

Having to tell everyone over and over again that we were splitting up was not fun, either. He immediately moved several states away (temporarily) and I moved a couple of hours away so having to work out filing papers, splitting up belongings, etc. was more cumbersome than it would have been otherwise.

I knew it was going to be okay when I found myself a job and was able to move out of my parents' basement and into my own place. I miss living alone like I did then.

You've moved very quickly in this new relationship. Make sure it's what you truly want and what is truly best for your kids and his kids vs. a rebound relationship after a very long unfulfilling marriage. It's okay to take a step (or two) back to make sure things are right. Better to do it now before you are married and it becomes 10x more complicated for everyone involved. Don't do anything you don't want to do or are not comfortable with just to make it easier on someone else or because you've already gone this far or because you're scared to be alone or whatever the reason is.
 
LeeAndra said:
You've moved very quickly in this new relationship. Make sure it's what you truly want and what is truly best for your kids and his kids vs. a rebound relationship after a very long unfulfilling marriage. It's okay to take a step (or two) back to make sure things are right. Better to do it now before you are married and it becomes 10x more complicated for everyone involved. Don't do anything you don't want to do or are not comfortable with just to make it easier on someone else or because you've already gone this far or because you're scared to be alone or whatever the reason is.
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Thank you. In the beginning I wouldn't listen to a single person that cautioned me to take my time. But, like my sister pointed out, I wasn't at a point in my life where I could handle one more person telling me what to do. Now I'm slowing down and realizing some things. We worked some really tough things out!
 
Sorry you had a rough go there! I hope things only continue to improve from here! I have no experience and pray that I never do, but I can imagine the stress!
 
I have actually gone through it. I know many people feel the need to rush into another relationship right after a divorce, they feel they have gotten over the marriage, which they might, but they aren't always prepared for a new relationship. It took me years to be ready for more than just dating for fun. Take your time and just make sure you are ready.
 
Oh, Val. I'm so sorry that you've had a rough time with your new relationship. I hope that things start looking up. :wub:
 
As someone who has totally been there, done that, I have to say I 100% agree with LeeAndra. It's more than okay to take some time for YOU and to figure out exactly what it is that you need/want. I, too, became involved in a new relationship very quickly after my divorce, and while I'm still in that relationship, part of me wishes I'd taken more time for myself to let my heart heal and figure out exactly what I wanted out of life. So, my advice is do that. It's okay to be by yourself for a while to sort out all the turmoil between your head and heart. Big hugs to you! Being an adult is zero fun sometimes. :(
 
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