Going from 2 to 3

joelsgirl

joelsgirl

Well-known member
Is it a big jump? We're two days away from being a family of five, and I really have no idea what to expect. I mean, I know it will be an adjustment...my boys are VERY independent at 4 & 7, and the baby will be pretty much completely dependent 24/7. I just don't really grasp HOW my life will change. When I went from 1-2, there was really no change at all. I just put Max in the boppy on the floor while I played with Jack, and as he grew, he played with us.

So those of you with some experience, tell me what to expect when I come home from the hospital this weekend!
 
I have no experience going from 2 to 3 (unless you count my hubby, lol) but I wanted to wish you GOOD LUCK Kellie! I can't believe the baby will already be there this week! How exciting!!
 
I only have 2, so no help here either, but I think you will LOVE having the older boys to help out with bub. With them being more independent, you will be able to enjoy your baby all the more without feeling so stressed at spreading yourself too thin. That's my guess anyway. Best of luck Kellie - I am SO excited for you and your family.
 
My older two were 3 and 5 when I had my youngest and I found going from 2 to 3 so much easier than 1 to 2. Life is already crazy when you have 2... what's one more? The hardest thing is the sleep deprivation of those first few months on top of parenting two other children. Just know it's going to happen and don't let the guilt about it add to any stress you're feeling. You'll make up the time.

And some day, ten years from now or so, you'll have your oldest graduating from high school, no longer have to worry about who will watch your kids while you finish out your last week of teaching even though your kids got out last week, and you'll be treasuring every last minute you get with those kids because you know they're going to be leaving soon...
 
A good friend of mine has 4, and the last 2 fit into the family SO easily. She found that as a parent she was more relaxed and confident in dealing with more than 1 child, so adding 1 more wasn't as big of a deal as it was the first time. Does that make sense? Her other two just LOVED the new baby. I don't remember there being a lot of competition.
 
Going from 2 to 3 was very hard for us. But I was also working full-time outside the home and my older kids were only 4 and 2. I think it'll be easier for you since your boys are older and more independent.
 
For us 2 to 3 was a bigger adjustment than 1 to 2. I think mainly because at that point the parents are out numbered. As Jeff likes to say we went from man on man to zone defense! You can't say "you get him, and I'll get him" anymore.

I think I notice it the most when I'm trying to get everyone ready for bed, or make everyone a sandwich, or pack everyone up to go somewhere. When you are out, keeping up with everyone is just a little bit harder. But, as with everything you get used to it and it is so fun watching them all interact with each other. I've heard that after you've hit 3 adding additional children is no big deal!!??! lol! who knows...
 
ashleywb said:
For us 2 to 3 was a bigger adjustment than 1 to 2. I think mainly because at that point the parents are out numbered. As Jeff likes to say we went from man on man to zone defense! You can't say "you get him, and I'll get him" anymore.
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omg, that's hilarious!
 
I've been wondering the same thing Kellie. Keira is 7 & Cooper is 4, he'll be closer to 5 by the time this one arrives. I've been told its much easier than going from 1 to 2.
 
I honestly can't remember that was 2 kids and 8 years ago....but I don't think it was too bad...I mean I had 2 more kids!!! :D :D

I think it would be a lot harder if your boys were younger...but they are both older and hopefully a little self sufficient!!! For the birth of #3 my two were 6.5 and 2.9...both could potty by themselves and get drinks and snacks by themselves....ones that I had pre sorted and stored in the fridge every morning!!

I think you will be fine!!! :thumbup:
 
Oh and I wanted to add that I don't buy into the whole....after 2 you are out numbered bit........You have 2 hands and Joel has 2 hands....I think you also wear your babies two...right!?!?! I know a lot of the time when I had new babies...I obviously had to care for the baby...I had the boob after all and Tim took care of the other kids....you are just gonna have to crack the whip at Joel and make him step up to the plate!!! Who cares if your kids aren't bathed every day or have cereal 3 days in a row for breakfast, lunch and dinner!! Believe me...they are not going to care...they are going to think it's the best thing since sliced bread was invented!!! :D :D

Give yourself time to adjust...it will take time and the best thing you can do is realize that and tell yourself to take it one minute at a time......no one will starve....everyone will cry...but no one will be any worse for the wear!!! You will all survive and 5 years from now you will be like...remember when baby girl joined our family and we all spent 3 days in our jammies and ate nothing but Captain Crunch and lemonade!!!! :thumbup:
 
In my experience, most people seem to have 1 hard adjustment. For some that's going from 0 to 1, for others it's 1-2 or 2-3. For me the toughest was 1 to 2. I found it very hard to meet both the boys' needs and feel like I was giving each of them enough of my attention while taking care of a newborn and adjusting to how my relationship with my former only child had to change. Once I'd mastered that with the 1-2 transition, adding our 3rd was easy. The first 1 1/2 years were crazy busy because the boys were 5 and 2 when Lauren was born, none of them were in full day school, and DH worked long hours. But it wasn't harder than 2, just busier, if that makes sense.

Your experience may be entirely different, though, especially since you have to go back into baby mode. If I were in your situation, I probably wouldn't have as much trouble juggling the needs of 3 kids because the older 2 are more independent, but I think that making that transition back into baby mode would be hard for me after getting a taste of life with older kids.
 
MissKim said:
My older two were 3 and 5 when I had my youngest and I found going from 2 to 3 so much easier than 1 to 2. Life is already crazy when you have 2... what's one more?
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This was my experience. You took the words right out of my mouth.

Actually, it was probably harder for me when I went from 0-1. Everything was new! Then when I had my 2nd, we just took it in stride because we'd been there. Number 3 was no adjustment--just back to the old routine. And there's a #4 around here somewhere. I don't know... I've lost track at this point. We just line them up and keep going. ;)
 
I agree with whomever said it's no harder than going from 1 to 2. I found that a much bigger adjustment. The only major adjustment we had adding number 3, which I think you will have too, is that we were already completely out of baby stage with the older two. So going back to baby stage took a little bit of adjustment, but not too big of a deal. Congrats!!
 
Wow, I can't believe it's already time!!! I'm so excited for you!

I'm no help here, since I went from 0 to 2... But I would guess it'll be nice that you're boys are a little older and more independant like you said.

I can't wait to see pics!!!
 
mummytothree said:
Oh and I wanted to add that I don't buy into the whole....after 2 you are out numbered bit........You have 2 hands and Joel has 2 hands....I think you also wear your babies two...right!?!?! I know a lot of the time when I had new babies...I obviously had to care for the baby...I had the boob after all and Tim took care of the other kids....you are just gonna have to crack the whip at Joel and make him step up to the plate!!! Who cares if your kids aren't bathed every day or have cereal 3 days in a row for breakfast, lunch and dinner!! Believe me...they are not going to care...they are going to think it's the best thing since sliced bread was invented!!! :D :D

Give yourself time to adjust...it will take time and the best thing you can do is realize that and tell yourself to take it one minute at a time......no one will starve....everyone will cry...but no one will be any worse for the wear!!! You will all survive and 5 years from now you will be like...remember when baby girl joined our family and we all spent 3 days in our jammies and ate nothing but Captain Crunch and lemonade!!!! :thumbup:
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OMGosh, this is the best thing anyone has ever said to me. I shall purchase a whip for Joel tomorrow. ; )

Kimberly Lund, thanks for making me cry.

Going from 0-1 nearly killed me, and I had spent my entire life wanting to be a mom...I just didn't know about all the crying and not sleeping. So when we found out I was pregnant with #2, I cried a little at the idea of starting over. But then he was SUCH a good baby that it wasn't bad at all.

Tonight my parents got here and with them an entire suitcase of pink & flowers & bows and oh my I cannot wait to start dressing this little one up!
 
Going from 2-3 was a breeze. After Livia though, I was scared to have another crabby baby. lol But I got just the opposite. Ethan was the BEST baby - ate and slept, never cried. But seemed to grow up faster than the other 2.

Having 3 can be a little hairy at times. I think that having your other two being a little older will be a blessing. Ours were very close in age.

Kellie, you will do just fine honey. Enjoy it. I tell you, those 3rd babies grow FAST! :)
 
Oh, I'm with you Kellie. 0-1 was the hardest by FAR. And I too spent my whole life wanting to be a mom. And I LOVED babysitting. And I loved babies and little kids. It was VERY difficult for me. I was stressed out the whole pregnancy with #2 because of that... but it was sooooooo smooth and so much better.

I also agree with Rachel that everyone has a hard adjustment at some point...and it's different for everyone.

Honestly, #4 has been the easiest (it's been a little easier with each one). I am much more relaxed and carefree. I'm able to go with the flow. I know what to expect and what to do. It helps that he is our happiest baby by far... and he never spit up at ALL and all the others did, a ton.

We do divide and conquer and it works great. Shane gets the 3 girls ready for bed while I put the baby to bed. I entertain the kids while he cleans up dinner. We're a team and that's why it works so well.

I also agree that the adjustment for you will likely be having a newborn again...not having 3 kids. But, you know what to expect and you will have 2 very eager and willing helpers at your side. She will be very special and very loved.

I'm excited for you and can't believe it's here! I look forward to seeing pics of your princess! :)
 
Mine were about the same ages as yours. My daughter was 6 when my youngest was born and my middle son was 4. It was easier I think going from 2 to 3 then 1 to 2. When I had just my daughter she had all of my attention everyday but then when I had my son he had most of the attention. But when my youngest was born the older two not only helped take care of the baby (getting the paci/diapers/wipes etc) but they also played together when the baby needed to be fed or held or changed. Then I would play with them when he slept. So if going from 1 to 2 was easy for you and your kids are used to doing alot for themselves 2 to 3 will be a piece of cake :) Letting the kids help with the little stuff if they want to also makes them feel like they are included and getting some attention while you take care of the baby. My kids loved helping with the little stuff.
 
jessica31876 said:
Mine were about the same ages as yours. My daughter was 6 when my youngest was born and my middle son was 4. It was easier I think going from 2 to 3 then 1 to 2. When I had just my daughter she had all of my attention everyday but then when I had my son he had most of the attention. But when my youngest was born the older two not only helped take care of the baby (getting the paci/diapers/wipes etc) but they also played together when the baby needed to be fed or held or changed. Then I would play with them when he slept. So if going from 1 to 2 was easy for you and your kids are used to doing alot for themselves 2 to 3 will be a piece of cake :) Letting the kids help with the little stuff if they want to also makes them feel like they are included and getting some attention while you take care of the baby. My kids loved helping with the little stuff.
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Ditto! My girls were 6 and 2 when my son was born. They loved getting stuff for me and help out in every way they can! We nicknamed them our remote controls! ;) They'll run around for you until they realize that it's 'work'! LOL
 
mummytothree said:
You will all survive and 5 years from now you will be like...remember when baby girl joined our family and we all spent 3 days in our jammies and ate nothing but Captain Crunch and lemonade!!!! :thumbup:
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You are such a cool Mom! This just made me laugh! :D
 
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