From 2 Kids to 3...

My DH gets home too late to help with things like afterschool activities, so whether there were 2 kids or 3 it was going to be a matter of limiting activities so I can do it all. I don't think that's a bad thing; I grew up as the oldest of 3 and wouldn't have traded in my brother for those activities (most days, LOL). It also helps that we live under 2 miles from their elementary, middle, and high schools and all the schools offer things. (I'll check back in 5 years to tell you if it works out the way I'm hoping!)

I'm glad I had DD now because we were still in the limited-outing-nap-accomodating stage. It would have been a lot harder to have her a few years later.
 
I found the first to be the biggest transition - my whole world changed. When I added the second, it was a little more work but mostly because it was another baby and babies are a lot of work (but oh so worth it). The age dif was perfect for me - 2.5 years so the oldest could help a little (she so wanted to) without being dangerous and was old enough that she could listen and be entertained while I dealt with baby stuff. My third is now 2 and a half, the second 7 and the oldest 9. This is the easiest transition for me. I also love how my children have different relationships as pairs and as a threesome. My older two have learned really great life lessons from having a younger sibling and the youngest is benefiting a lot from having older sisters, in a way that the close ones didn't as much. The downside is some activities don't work for us as a group because of the spread of ages, and I have to work really hard to make sure they all get one on one attention. This was always the case because I am a single mom but once you get to 3 I think it is often harder for couples because they are used to divide and conquer. I will say that having number 3 cured my baby fever permanently but I don't regret it for a second. And with respect to teacher conferences, school actitivities and such, it is doable. Takes more planning and friends who will help with carpooling etc but, at least where I live, it is the norm. I do find a lot less me time with 3 than 2 because I spend more time getting everything ready and organized. But that is a big part of the choice I think - how much do you want another child (not baby) and how important is it to you that your children have another sibling? I was asked to adopt the sibling of one of my children, so that was the original deciding factor for me but I am so glad I went ahead when that fell through as the pain of three is far outweighed by the joy of three and the wonderful things my three girls are learning by having their sisters...so it works for us. Good luck with your decision!
 
In this economy I am happy with my 2 kiddos. I know we can help them some with college and can afford most anything for the both of them. I am a practical person so that is how my mind thinks.
 
HeatherKS said:
If you don't feel like your family is complete, you'll never shake it. :wub:
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I totally and completely agree with this. We thought we were done after two. We gave away all of our baby and maternity stuff. We didn't do anything permanent to prevent another baby, but thought we were done.

But we started talking about the possibility of hubby getting snipped and we realized we weren't done. Our main reason for having another (#3) was because we didn't want to get down the road and regret not doing it. And we decided if we were going to have another, it was time.

Our children are about the same age as your's. Wes is 5 1/2, and Claire is almost 4. They are at a great age to be older siblings. They help a little, but not enough to really count on. Mostly, they just love their little sister. One other great thing about their age with a newborn in a house is that they're very independent. Now this was the reason we almost didn't have another, 'cause we were so far removed from the baby season. But, they're able to play together (which they've always done well; they're 19 months apart), and get their own breakfast, and go to the bathroom on their own. I'm not always able to do something for them (if I'm nursing or something), and they're old enough to be able to handle this and sometimes do it for themselves.

If you have any doubts that you're really done, then I would say you're most likely not done. :)
 
Sarah8914 said:
For me personally, I don't think it can get harder than having 1. I always wanted to be a mother my whole life and knew it would be hard, but I didn't expect just how hard it really was. The adjustment to becoming a mother for me was so huge and so difficult. #2 was a piece of cake and I'm more than ready for #3.... so I think. :)
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UMMMM, I don't think us twin moms would agree with this, LOL!
 
It wasn't a huge adjustment at the time from 2 to 3 kids...but later, I realized how easy life would be with just the 2. Seriously...from sports, to eating out, getting a sitter...everything was harder. My third was extremely easy as a baby, but then things started to change at about 2. By the time he was a teeager (and I was totally by then), we finally had him diagnosed with bipolar. He's 21 now, and it still is a constant daily struggle. We had number 4 when #3 was 4 years old. Thankfully, he has been very easy and a great kid...

SO...not the number of kids, but their level of difficulty, and you never ever know what you're going to get! I love them all though...through the good and the bad!
 
Thanks so much, all of you. You've ALL had some really good points. It's a hard decision...we'll continue to pray about it and discuss it and see what we come up with. :)
 
lizzyfizzy said:
also, imo you should never have more children with the idea that your others are old enough to help out...i think that's a cop out. can they? sure. will they most likely? sure. should you have more babies going into it thinking that...i don't think so.
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For me it's not so much that they are "old enough to help" but that they are old enough to do things for themselves when they are older. My boys are almost 4 and 6 and they don't need me to feed them. They don't need me to put their shoes on - their clothes on etc etc. The oldest one has homework. The younger 2 don't. I imagine when we get to the baby having homework, the oldest one will be almost 12 and daily homework help won't be needed like it is in kindergarten. Projects? bigger assignments? sure. But by then, I would think that the 6 and 10 yo would be able to do hw on their own while i help one --- or stuff like that.

I don't agree with having the older kids watch the little one, feed the little one, change him etc etc. That's on the parents - not the kids.
 
Hey Jennifer, just one more thought that I didn't really get into before...

I'm soooooooo very thankful we decided to have our 3rd. My whole entire pregnancy (even though it was not an accident) I was kinda freaked out about how in the world I was going to be able to mother 3 kids. And I already mentioned how out of the baby stage we were. So yeah, I was freaked out. But it's amazing how in about two months time my perspective is just completely opposite ~ Before I couldn't really imagine my life with her in it. Now, there is no possible way I could imagine my life without her. I'm totally in love with her (& my other two)! :)
 
I dunno about 2 to 3, but this summer we're going from 1 to 2! And I'm so scared!!!! My 3 year old is crazy- he started waking up 2x at night, so I'm already sleep deprived!!! Well, I guess I outta get used to it now! :)
 
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