I'm so sorry. *hugs*
I enjoy my current ILs, but my former MIL was a piece of work. Seriously the most passive-aggressive person on the planet.
'Does anyone think it's cold in here?'
'Is anyone hungry?'
'Does anyone want to watch Oprah/Dr. Phil?'
At first, I would answer honestly until I came to realize what she really meant was that SHE was cold and SHE was hungry and SHE wanted to watch that show. She wanted ME to get up and change the temperature or ME to make her a turkey sandwich with her special mayo or ME sit with her for an hour and listen to her go on and on about how smart Dr. Phil and Oprah were.
Ugh.
After that, I would just tell her, 'No.' and smile sweetly. I loved watching her try to hide her frustration over having to do things for herself.
Not to mention she had saved every card she'd ever received for the past 40 years in big boxes that sat on her bed (so she had to sleep on the couch)... or that she had big trashbags full of junk mail waiting to be shredded because she was positive the day she threw one away with her name and address on it that a horrible man would snatch it out of the trash and steal her identity... or that she refused to leave the house at night without something over her mouth and nose because 'night air made you sick.'
Like I said, I'm sorry. BTDT.