Does anyone else NOT love company??

S

Sarah8914

New member
You know, company that stays at your house for several days?

Shane's grandparents come visit after we have a baby--like, in the first couple months. They usually bring books so if we don't do anything they sit and read all day long. But then I feel guilty and feel like they're doing that because they're bored. But I am not going to go to the zoo, the mall, a movie, anywhere "fun" with a 4 week old baby--or feel like doing much else either! They don't help cook or clean much (I think they are afraid of getting in the way) and it's just stressful for me. I just don't really enjoy having company stay here. It is completely different when it's my family, but still, after a few days, that would be enough (they live close though, so it's not an issue). Even when we have company that does help out a lot with cooking and cleaning, I feel like they're in my space.

Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way? I mean, I am seriously dreading the upcoming visit. I want to lock myself in my room the whole time and DH can't take off every day they're here.. and I wouldn't want him to anyway--I'd rather use vacation time for real vacations.
 
I don't even like having people over for dinner most of the time. I do it, but I don't love it. As for company staying for a few days...only my MIL is welcome and not a burden of any kind. Everyone else can find a flippin' hotel.
 
I am with you! No thank you!

It is one thing for people to pop in and bring food or someone to come over and hold the baby so you can catch a shower or have a cup of tea uninterrupted, but having to play hostess right after having a baby is just not fair! And, you need your space and time alone to bond.
((((Big hugs)))).
 
I feel exactly the same way you do Sarah! Especially after having a baby. I also feel like I have to work and wait on everybody nonstop, and my kids are always just crazy when somebody stays with us. They think that they don't need to listen because someone else in in the house.
 
I totally know how you feel, but here's what i think you should do. I think you should assume that they have the best of intentions and would LIKE to help but don't want to step on your toes. So you coudl make a plan for them, things they could do with your older kids during the day...THEY could take them to the zoo, Chuck E Cheese, wherever, and then there you are alone with the baby and the house. :)

I bet they wouldn't mind if you suggested some things for them to do with the kids. They could do crafts with the girls, go to the park, etc. And you should ask her NOW before she comes if she wouldn't mind planning and fixing a few meals while they're there, and that way she'll be ready and know what's expected of her PLUS you get to have someone else cook for you. You could word it nicely by saying, I'd be glad to pick up the ingredients you need.

I bet she'd be GLAD to have you tell her how she could help.
 
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Kellie has some really great suggestions! I bet if you do it in a really nice way, his grandparents would be more than willing to help out! You didn't mention how old they are. Would they be up to taking the girls to the zoo or the park, even for a couple hours? You just need to let them know how they can help you out. I don't think that's asking too much, especially if they're staying with you, KWIM?
 
i don't love having people in my home for long periods of time unless it's a friend. lol i'm selfish like that sometimes. family is too overbearing and i can't run around without a bra...it's devastating.
 
Oh man, the inlaws while you have a new baby? Eeek, I don't envy you. Maybe let your dh step up and take care of them and let him entertain them. Afterall, they are his side of the family. I sure hope he takes time off of work for you!

All of our family lives close enough that no one has to stay with us. The nice thing about having a baby though, you can always have to go in the other room and nurse, or take a nap with the baby.
 
joelsgirl said:
I totally know how you feel, but here's what i think you should do. I think you should assume that they have the best of intentions and would LIKE to help but don't want to step on your toes. So you coudl make a plan for them, things they could do with your older kids during the day...THEY could take them to the zoo, Chuck E Cheese, wherever, and then there you are alone with the baby and the house. :)

I bet they wouldn't mind if you suggested some things for them to do with the kids. They could do crafts with the girls, go to the park, etc. And you should ask her NOW before she comes if she wouldn't mind planning and fixing a few meals while they're there, and that way she'll be ready and know what's expected of her PLUS you get to have someone else cook for you. You could word it nicely by saying, I'd be glad to pick up the ingredients you need.

I bet she'd be GLAD to have you tell her how she could help.
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Yes, I think Kellie said it perfectly. I think that they would love to help you, they just don't know how.

I hate having people over, I feel like I have to wait on them all the time, and after just having a baby, with little kids running around, it's too stressful for me. So I think if you just ask her in advance, she'd probably be stoked.
 
We live in a three bedroom apartment, so yeah, having company is always an issue for us, but usually easy to get out of since there are no extra beds or space. It's like having the Geo Metro of houses: convenient for you, but everyone else has got to hitch a ride with someone else.

Since the baby will be coming right at the beginning of the school year, I don't know that my mother will feel comfortable taking time off to come stay with us (and she hates dogs), but she'd be the only person I'd be interested in hosting post-baby.

Thankfully, Jeff's parents live in town, and while I will be glad to have his mother's help, who is a retired ob-gyn nurse, I'm also glad that I will not have to host his father in our house! *lol*

Now if I had Jeff's brother's Pottery Barn-esque 500K palatial house... I'd love to have company to show off my digs! :p
 
I've just been sitting here thinking about this. I don't even like neighbors stopping by and I feel like I should invite them in to visit...or for coffee. I get so stressed out by little things like this!
 
If it's my inlaws I definately don't like company lol..they tend to stay and stay and stay.

I live close to my family so we don't get overnighters with them...except my sis and she's like my best friend so I don't mind when she visits
 
I'm not wild about most company because I feel like I have to be 'on' all the time. Talking, planning, feeding, etc... I can only manage so many hours in hostess mode.

But I like when my parents visit. They bring books because they like to read & are perfectly happy to sit & read while their grandchildren play around them. They don't expect to be entertained, they are there to spend time with everyone & help out as they can. I take advantage of that & go shopping without kids. My parents are not really visiting me, they are visiting the kids, so I get out of their way & let them do it.

Plus my mom is a bit of a cleaning nut & my house is always cleaner after they visit, no matter how well I thought I had cleaned before they arrived.
 
The only over-nighter I really ever have is my best friend, and it's usually every other year (the between years I go visit her) and I'm more comfortable with her than anyone on the planet, so I don't mind at all. I can just be me with her here. But I think Kellie did offer some great suggestions. They probably sincerely want to help but don't know what you need, yaknow?
 
I guess because I am not use to it and there is really not a lot to do here...it would make me uncomfortable too...
 
Thanks for all the suggestions (esp. Kellie's!) and for helping me know I'm not alone. They really are "easy" company, but it's true, I don't feel like I get a break because I feel the need to entertain, feed, keep things clean.

Last night before bed I realized it's mostly about my attitude right now so if I can shift gears in my head, it won't be so bad. Because they're coming, and there's nothing I can do about it! :)
 
I'm with you on that! I wouldn't mind a short visit- maybe one overnight at the most...

You're going to need you're own time to recover from childbirth- and time to bond with your new little one, and mostly rest!

I told Nick that once our new baby is born, I don't want ANY visitors at all for the first 2 days after going home, and he agreed (thank God!). We have a 3 year old who will need to adjust, as well.... and I'm going to be recovering from a repeat c-section.
 
I don't like visitors either, luckily we don't ever have any out of town visitors, because honestly I don't think I would let them stay :P
 
I actually love visitors BUT not so much with a newborn. The only person I let visit was my sister because I knew she was coming to help and not to be entertained!
 
If it's any of my in-laws - no way! I don't like having them come over. I always feel on edge and stressed out and like I can't be myself. Steve's parents are fuddy duddies and I can't stand not being able to be myself.

But, if it's my parents, brother or sister, I don't mind it because I can be myself and not worry. I grew up with these people and I can fart if I have to and nobody judges me. LOL

Now, if it is someone in town that drops by unexpectedly - then that PISSES me off!! Make a two second phone call first before dropping in on me without any notice! ERR!!!!!!!!!
 
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