Behavior Charts

[Kjersti]

My 7 year old daughter has been very naughty lately. She throws tantrums, says mean things, and picks fights with her older sister. Has anyone seen any cute behavior charts that I can print off?

Or....do you have any suggestions on what I can do? I'm almost ready to move her bed into the backyard so she can bunk with the dog!!!

Thanks in advance.

Kj

 

[ChristyHC]

When I was teaching I made a track around a bulletin board with little squares. The kids had a shaped piece of paper (truck, dog, whatever) that had a behavior they were working on. At the end of the day we would talk and decide if they got 0, 1, or 2 moves on the track for that day depending on how they did with their target behavior, 2 being great, 1 so-so, and 0 for not good. When they got to the end of the track they would earn something special. We tried to keep the behavior positively worded, so instead of no hitting it was keep your hands in your own space, etc.

My advise with some type of behavior chart is to keep the behavior as specific as you can, let your daughter help to evaluate how she is doing, and keep rewards as non-things as you can. I like rewards that just give the kids extra attention, like a special trip out with dad or a game one-on-one with mom or something. Also it can help to try to figure out why she is acting out and help teach her something more appropriate to do to get the same result. So if she is feeling jealous of what her sister can do, maybe find something she does well and feature it, like a special frame on the fridge to show off her artwork. Then when she feels jealous teach her to go and draw a new picture for the fridge. (Just an example of course)

 

[jacinda]

I wonder if a Dear Daughter journal might be helpful to start. I've started one with my 8 yr old, and she is LOVING it. A great way to increase communication. She can use it to tell me about her day, ask a question, express frustrations etc - whatever she wants. Sometimes it's easier to write how you feel instead of speaking about it. I use it for positive affirmations and encouragement for my daughter.

I know it's not a discipline chart/method, but anything to improve communication has my vote.

http://www.itworksforbobbi.com/2011/10/dear-daughter-diary.html

 

[Lyd]

Jacinda, my spell check wants to change your name to "hacienda." But also, I LOVE that journal idea. What a great way for a child to be able to express himself/herself and ask questions! And it gives the parent a chance to tell the child about all the little and big things that make him/her special. I totally want to start doing this with my kids!

Kjersti, I am going to be watching this thread closely. My 7-year old boy is a nightmare lately. Love him, but . . . Gah!!!!

 

[Kjersti]

Thank you so much for the suggestions. I started a little points system. I've been giving her points to earn a Starbucks hot chocolate. She woke up happy and earned two points, didn't complain about her clothes and got more points, etc.

Christy...I can't wait to try drawing out a behavior chart like you suggested. Right now the points are just tallied on a white paper. I need somthing cute.

Jacinda....I love the dear daughter suggestion. I'm going to do it for sure!!!

Kj

 

[jacinda]

I just remembered another discipline technique. It's called the Ladder of Doom. Draw up a ladder on a piece of card/paper/whatever. Start your clock at the bottom rung, and work in 15 minute increments till you reach the top of the ladder. As an example, I'd start from 3.30pm when the child gets home from school, and work in 15min increments to the top of the ladder finishing at the 7.30pm bed time. Everytime the child shows disrespect, or doesn't do what they're told, their bedtime slides down 15 minutes (so they go to bed earlier). If they're really naughty, or just being stubborn about something, they may find their bedtime is like 4.30pm or something. The good thing about this system is that the child can redeem their time by doing chores when they decide to be good again. e.g. Fold the laundry, tidy their room, take out the trash, read their sibling a story, wash the dishes, sweep the patio etc. Each task gives them 15mins back on the ladder. The child psychologist who told us this idea (it was in one of his seminars) said it works like a dream. One minute you have a disobedient, willfull child, then the next minute you have a dream child desperate to make up for lost time, doing all the jobs in the house.

I haven't needed to use the technique myself yet, but I'm sure I'll need it as the kids grow and test their boundaries.

 

[Kjersti]

Jacinda....I love the ladder of doom. Maybe if they were naughty and went to bed at 7:00 I'd be able to scrap!!! I think I'm going to try this. My youngest had ANOTHER tantrum this morning.