Aaron! I Need Your Manpertise!

LeeAndra

LeeAndra

Sweet Shoppe SugarBabe
Since you are the token male, you must defend and/or explain your gender at every opportunity. I know the gurlies here will agree with my side. :p

Jeff's diagnosis is official as of this morning: the tibia/fibula (whichever) in his left leg is cracked, but the doctor said he would not need surgery so as long as he did not put weight on it and stayed in his cast and on his crutches for the next 7 weeks.

While we were checking out, he had one of the nurses ask if he could go bike riding (*snort*) or swimming. Bike riding was out, as I've told him all week, because that's still weight on the bone, and since the doctor wants the leg as immobilized as possible at all times, swimming was out since he needs to keep his boot/cast on.

J. and I proceeded to get into an argument in the car when I brought up my concern that since he does all his walking in his house WITHOUT his crutches, because they are 'so inconvenient,' that it might jeopardize his healing and keep him, ultimately, on crutches longer and/or bring abt the possibility of surgery if the crack gets worse.

He insists that using his crutches 24/7 is unrealistic and that the doctor has to say that to patients like J. to keep himself from being sued. While J. said he would 'do his best' to keep weight off it, he was still not going to use his crutches all the time because there is 10% of him that doesn't fully trust the doctor because the longer he is in crutches, the more money he makes off him. J. did acknowledge that he is a wellespected doctor in the community who knows what he's doing, but J. doesn't want to rely on someone (me) else all the time to get things done and says crutches are not conducive to his lifestyle as an active adult, a college student, and a single parent. He might even, in a few weeks, try to do a little cardio using his legs at the gym if he feels like his leg is getting better.

:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:

Is it just me? Do other people think this way, too? Is this a guy thing??

When I said that I would rather err on the side of caution when it came to personal injury, in order to give myself the best possible chance at complete healing so that I can keep my mobility long term, and I would follow the doctor's orders to the letter if it were me, J. rolled his eyes as if that was the dumbest thing he ever heard.

Wouldn't that be... the sensible thing to do? The responsible thing to do? Am I really that out of touch with reality that I am the only person who always goes along with the doctor's diagnosis and orders when I am sick or injured??

I would appreciate it, Aaron, if you would tell me that I'm right and J. is just being a dude. Gurlies, feel free to chime in if you agree with me. :p
 
Well I can tell you when I was pregnant my doctor put me on bedrest and I had a toddler at home and my husband worked and I didnt listen to everything he said. I knew that I should and I wanted my baby to be healthy BUT I also had to take care of my daughter. I had nobody to help and she didnt stop needing to be fed or have her diaper changed or the other things 1 1/2 year olds need. Then a few years ago I fell down the steps and I *think* I broke my foot but never went to the doctor for it. I just limped around for about a month or so until it felt better. Im not saying that its smart but sometimes it just isnt easy to listen to what a doctor says or admit you cannot do everything for yourself. Try not to take it personally and just try to let him do what he thinks he can. If he hurts himself worse then you will know that you did all you could to keep him from doing so
 
He's being insane. If he wants his leg to heal quicker and better, he should STAY OFF it for the amount of time the doctor says.

Also...how does the doctor make more money off him if he is on crutches longer? Is he renting the crutches? I'm confused (our healthcare is different up here, so it could be a totally dumb question for those that live down there, lol). Up here, the doctor would make money doing the xay, putting on the cast, doing a follow-up xay and taking off the cast (except that we don't pay...the gov't does). The crutches you get through the pharmacy and have nothing to do with the doctor.
 
I'm pretty sure my DH would do whatever the doctor said, although that would pretty much mean he'd be out of work for 7 weeks since he needs to use his legs & arms to work (he climbs up ladders and runs networking cables).

Sounds like J. is just untrusting towards doctors...hope he gets over it soon! He wouldn't want surgery now would he? That would be worse than staying on crutches for 7 weeks I'd think!
 
Having had a friend who just went through something VERY similar to this, and decided 3 weeks into it that she felt fine, took the cast off, and further injured herself with swelling, etc., I'd say he's being a pig-headed dude and is just silly.

Him being in a cast longer isn't really making the dr. all that much money except for a couple of office visits for checkups. It's not like he's getting rich off J lolol
 
LA, sounds like you have a total pain in the butt on your hands! tell him to stop trying to play MD and listen to the man who went to college for 15+ years. your telling me that he is going to jeopordize a long term full recovery over a few bike rides?!?! sounds completely crazy to meeee too! tell him the fizzster said to sit down and shut the hell up. (was that harsh?!?...i can be harsh)
 
Definitely not a man here...just someone who's dealt with more than her fair share of crutchequiring injuries over the years...(I can't even ask DH...he's never had injuries of this sort...and he actually listens to his doctors, once he goes, lol!)

If J truly doesn't trust this doctor, why not have him get a second opinion?? From my own first hand experience, not using the crutches can cause some serious complications. During high school, I tore the cartilage in my left knee and was required to use crutches at all times. Since I was a know-it-all teenager (nearly as bad as a man, really ;)) I didn't listen. Not only did I wind up needing surgery, but my doctor put my smart arse into a wheelchair. THAT was fun in a school with no elevator, let me tell you!

The small inconvenience of the crutches is worth it in the long run if it keeps him from requiring surgery that might put him out of commission even longer than what he's looking at now.
 
The first thought I would have is that this is more about the feeling of independence? Maybe he hates the thought of not being able to do all the things he loves doing and doesnt want to feel like a burden to others? I would approach the situation a little differently (if it was my husband that is) and ask him why he feels the need to not listen to the doctor's orders and reassure him that I do not mind helping. As for the exercise Im not sure what you could do about that. Maybe there are some exercises that the doctor would ok that might make him feel like he is not just sitting around doing nothing?
 
he sounds like the kind of idiot my DH is. DH not very good at getting medical help when injured or resting enough so that injury will heal completely.

Don't know how Jeff is but my DH is a very short-term thinker (alas) so he often fails to think of the future effects of his current stupid actions. :thumbdown: Even when I tell him so. :p

The trying cardio in a few weeks sounds just like something my DH would do in the same situation. :glare:

Anyway, I realize I have offered no constructive advice here. I say Jeff is just being stubborn.
 
This sounds exactly like my husband. :cursing: He had a leg injury a couple of years ago and it kept getting worse and worse and he kept griping about it hurting but never went to the doctor. I finally told him to either shut up about it or go have it looked at. He had it checked out and he ended up being referred to a surgeon immediately (we're talking the same day) and in surgery that evening, it was that bad. And then followed that up with a week's stay in the hospital. Even when we were doing the surgical consult he thought he'd go home immediately after surgery - no hospital stay. I tell you, no common sense. :glare:

Tell him to stop being a hero and to follow the doctor's orders. A little rest right now will save him a lot of headache down the road. :mad:
 
Thanks, gurlies! I knew it was not me who was the crazy one. :)

Once I did a couple things for him at his house, I came back to mine and will let him have his space and time to let the news sink in before we have dinner together. I am hoping that once he gets over feeling sorry for himself and the shock of continuing to remain in the cast and on crutches (maybe J. really thought or hoped a week in both would be enough?!) that he will abide by the doctor's orders even if it is begrudgingly.

I will also be sure to remind him later this weekend that when I broke my toe a couple years ago, I had my cast and crutches for 12 weeks... and lived on the third floor. :p

I don't mean to sound heartless b/c I really do have sympathy for his situation, but sometimes, things just are the way they are, and you have to deal with them rather than griping and moping. I make sure when I'm over there to try to help out: taking out trash, vacuuming, picking up living room and dining room, setting and clearing table when we have dinner, going on errands and the grocery store with him so I can carry things in and out of the car for him, etc. so I feel like there's not much else I or anyone else can do but ride it out with him, kwim?
 
Um.. Yeah. Does he think surgery would be better??? It's not like that recovery would be quick. It's either listen to the damn doctor or be hurt longer. Men.
 
Ok, here I am...and I am ready to help...

He is being a butt head. You're right. But I am not sure it's because of his "male-ness" as others have implied. We're not all jerks.

I think that the big thing for J. is independence. It seems like he is taking on a lot at a young age. From what I have heard about J. from your posts, it seems like he is a guy who wants to do good. He has a child, which from what I gather, he takes good care of; he is going to school; he takes care of his health (usually, being active); and it seems like he is a good bf - he ran to you. I think that when you are in a position like that, where you are really trying to do good by everyone, it's hard to realize that you may need to stop and take care of yourself. I would guess that he would tell you that he doesn't want to bother anyone else, blah blah blah, he can do it. He needs to realize that he can't.

The problem is, you can't make him realize that. It's something he has to do on his own. I think that you can reason with him - remind him that not listening now means more time incapacitated- and wasn't he training for some marathon or something (if that's not a reality now, that could be an issue too). Remember though, if he is as upset about this as it seems, nagging him about it will only make him listen less. It's how we guys work. As for his trust in dr.'s, I would encourage him that if he feels that uncomfortable with the diagnosis, he should get a second opinion.

LA, the best thing you can do for him now is to support him, and help him out as best you can. I know he's being dumb, but I think it has more to do with him wanting to do good. I hope this helps, and makes sense.

As for everyone else, us guys are not all jerks.
 
Aaron is totally the ONLY one.


I have a pig headed butt head of my own here....

ughhhhhhhh................... I won't even go into details.
 
Well is not the onlyone... Sunshine Studio Scraps have their own spot of european testosterone... hehehe (Vasco aka Moon Scraps)
 
You're right, there are a few other male scrappers out there. We tried to form a guild or union or something, but there weren't enough of us. All that matters is I'm your go to guy here, and happy to oblige.
 
Now, of course I don't condone violence, but in this instance I'd say he needs a good smack upside the head to knock some sense into him (without jarring his leg of course).
 
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