Forward, Back, Reverse, Inward, Twisting
Journaling top:
I had a certain plan in my head for how I wanted the birth of my third child to be. After all this wasn’t my first time. I knew that my body was capable of pushing out a baby, it had done it twice before. I trusted in my body to do what God designed it to do ... birth a child. I had spent months reading natural birth stories. Reading about water births, free births, midwives, doulas and birth plans. In anticipation of my “perfect birth” we had also decided to wait to find out the gender of our baby. I had invisioned that magical moments that after reaching down to bring my newborn to my chest, my husband and I would look together and then he would finally annouce if it was a girl or a boy. I shared all my wishes with my midife, husband and mom. (The three people that would be there in the delivery room.) I longed for a water birth and had even priced them online since our hospital didn’t provide them, but ultimately decided to save our money. Instead I invisioned laboring at home or at my mom’s in the hot tub, leaving at the end of labor to avoid an unplanned homebirth. I did opt to write out a detailed list of my wishes from no internal checks and no IV, to refusing the routine newborn procedures. I felt in control. Oh how silly it all seems now looking back. They say if you want God to laugh, tell him your plans. I think that applies to some birth plans as well. Instead of my labor following a natural progressing time line my body kept stalling. Contractions came and went for over a week. Making minimal internal changes. Then at my last appointment my midwife had didn’t like the babies heartrate, I was beginning to see my “perfect birth” slowly disappear. The next day my midwife sent me to the hospital and standing in the waiting room my water broke.
Journaling bottom:
I thought it was a good sign that labor would finally get underway and soon I would be holding my new baby. Then the complications began, first it was mecconium staining in the fluid. A little later my blood levels came back very low, leading to an IV. Unfortunately my midwife couldn’t get the IV in till the 4th attempt. After the IV was in I thought that would be the end of the complications, until my midwife discovered I was dialating. Nothing had changed in hours. The final straw was watching the monitor as my baby’s heartrate went drastically low. I saw the writing on the wall, I knew what was coming. The dreaded “c” word. The one thing I had planned to avoid at all costs. The tears began to fall. In a last ditch effort to stay out of the OR, we thought maybe an epidural would be the trick. It ended up being my demise, as my blood pressure fell and I crashed twice. A whirlwind of activity, I knew we were headed to the OR. I had no choice any longer. I was seperated from my mom & husband. I was strapped to a table, I heard voices all around, yet felt so alone. I couldn’t feel anything and I was so worried my husband would miss the birth. I kept asking for him over and over till he was finally at my side. Moments later I heard the cry of my new baby and instead of my husband and I getting to make the discovery, my midwife announced that it was a boy. Tears began to flow again. Tears of joy and no longer tears of fear. In that moment nothing mattered anymore. My baby was alive and healthy, and that is what mattered most of all.
My perfect birth, became the perfect storm of complications, but gave me my perfect little baby boy.
Bottom Ups 10 template 2 by Traci Reed - altered
Dream Big by Mari Koegelenberg & Meg Mullens
One Tough Chick by Jenn Barrette and Traci Reed
Life Is An Adventure arrows by Jenn Barrette
Special Delivery - word art by Traci Reed & Shawna Clingerman
Picnic by - twist tie Heather Roselli
Everyday Storytelling: Elements - curled ribbon by Jenn Barrette & Kristin Cronin-Barrow
Domesticated word art byKristin Cronin-Barrow
Date Bits 20 by Misty Cato
Smart Aleck arrow by Penny Springmann
DJB Amber font
