Sugarfree Challenge #44 (5/28) - Personal Demons
Journaling reads: In 1998 I married the love of my life and months before we talked about having kids, who would stay home with them (me), when we’d start trying to have them (2000) and what we’d do if we had trouble having them (adoption, IVF, etc). So when 2000 rolls around and we don’t get pregnant after 6-months we went to the dr to see what was wrong. After twelve AGONIZING months of tests and appts we found out that my husband has one kidney and that all of his male parts didn’t form correctly so sperm couldn’t get out the normal way. We found out that we’d have to extract sperm from his testicles and then do IVF. Our 1st IVF cycle was a short-lived success as we miscarried a few weeks after we found out we were pregnant. We did a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) after that and had no success. We geared up for IVF cycle #2 with failed FET #2 after that. It’s late 2002 now and we are depressed and frustrated. In mid 2003 we decide we’re ready for IVF ##3. We were sure this cycle was a failure only to find out that not only were we pregnant, it was twins! We delivered healthy twin boys in April 2004! We tried one last FET in 2005 and that too was a failure. I’ve found closure with the reality that I’ll not have any other children and never again be pregnant. I love my two boys with all of me but I’ll always have belly envy for all those women in the world who’ve never met the ugly fate of infertility and may take that belly for granted.
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Paper from Lil grad kit by Melissa Bennett
Font: Joyful Juliana, Big Bloke BB & Pea Amy
