It sounds to me that you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. What you have been through sounds devastating and how brave it is for you to document your feelings and post it here. I think it's so inspirational that you have shown how someone going through a crisis and enduring the healing process can use this hobby to help that process. You will look at this page in the future and have a frame a reference for how far you've come. Thank you for sharing this and hang in there!
This is such a wonderful, honest LO. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, but I agree that it sounds like you're stronger than you realize. Welcome back!