Desperately seeking advice on taking kids to the pool

[rach3975]

I have 3 kids, none of whom are strong swimmers yet. The oldest is too old for the kiddie pool but can't go in the big pool unsupervised. The 2 younger ones prefer the kiddie pool. As of last year, they were both scared and needed to be held in the big pool during the one time DH was able to come with us so we could try it out. (I hope DS2 will get used to it and just need to be within arms reach of me, but DD may need to be held most of the summer.) There's no one who can come with us to help out during the week. What am I missing? How do other people take kids of differing ages and swim abilities to the pool?

2 years ago we could still get away with staying in the kiddie pool. Last year we were able to go to a pool that had a beach-type section, where the water starts at an inch and gradually deepens to 3.5 feet. It was great because I could easily watch all 3 kids while they were in different depths. But the free swim hours are that pool are very limited because of camps and lessons, and I don't think the times are going to work for us this year. I'll probably join the neighborhood pool (a regular pool and a kiddie pool) but I'm hesitant because there's no way to try it out first; I have to commit and join for the whole summer. Thanks for any advice!

 

[Lyd]

This is exactly why I don't take my kids swimming - like never, unless we're going with a larger group of my family and there are more adults to help supervise. None of my kids are strong swimmers yet, and I am scared to death of losing track of them at a pool. With four kids, there's just no way I would ever take them on my own. I know this doesn't help you at all, Rachel. But, I just wanted to say that I sympathize, and I'll be watching to see how others manage to pull off swimming all the time.

I do think it is so important for kids to learn how to swim, and I have my kids signed up for lessons in a few weeks. I'm really pushing the lessons this summer because we had to skip them altogether last year when Ian got sick. As soon as my kids are all confident swimmers, I'll feel a lot more comfortable taking them to the pool by myself.

 

[Lindsay]

We have a pool in our community, so it's smaller and easier to watch them. It helped me to meet other moms in the neighborhood who are there all the time. The boys had playmates and there was always extra sets of eyes. I never went on my own and I only have 2 kids! It was strictly a weekend thing with dad until they became stronger swimmers. Luckily, the boy's friends swim like fishes and they quickly caught on. Best of luck!

 

[maryinaz]

Are they wearing some kind of safely floatation thing? My twins wore life jackets when they were toddlers and it really gave me some peace of mind. The floaties on the arms are not good enough. Once they feel more confident that they aren't going to sink, they won't need to hold onto you so much and you can get in the bigger pool with all of them.

They had these from Speedo:
http://www.amazon.com/Speedo-Begin-...VO/ref=sr_1_27?ie=UTF8&qid=1339041781&sr=8-27

 

[Sherri Tierney]

Our community pool is basically a walk in that starts at like 2" deep and gets deeper from there. I can basically stand between the kids, one in deeper water, one in more shallow water. Its easier there than at some places we've taken them. I HIGHLY recommend life jackets or swimsuits with flotation devices built in (some are rated as highly as life jackets, be sure to check ratings, others are pretty useless). Those swimsuits are what got my kids over their fear of water.

 

[farrijc]

I wish I could offer you some advice! I think our kids are similar ages... there is a pool in our neighborhood that I take the kids to, although we haven't gone yet this summer. Last summer, DD (3 years old) liked to spend most of her time in the kiddie pool. DS (7 at the time) spent his time in the big pool. While he is not the greatest of swimmers, I felt comfortable because he was finally tall enough to touch the bottom and that made him feel comfortable. My middle son spent time in both, but always had a float around his middle while in the big pool - even though he's had swimming lessons, he's not really swimming yet. Because my oldest is cautious (actually both boys are), I was ok with the two of them in the shallow end of the big pool with me sitting on the side of the baby pool. I could see all 3 and fortunately, the distance between the two pools isn't much. If the logistics were different, not sure what I would do! I guess the youngest would be forced to spend all her time in the big pool. I have tried all kinds of floatation things with my kids - kick boards (worthless unless you have one on one time to teach them), water wings/arm bands, jackets with floatation built in, etc. and what has worked the best for them is a cheap float/ring (literally cost $1) around their middle. My five year old would swim around with it in the shallow end and even jump off the side while wearing/holding onto it. My youngest would also wear one in the big pool - she would float a few feet away from me, but mainly liked for me to hold on.

I REALLY wish they would have the motivation to learn to swim, though!! It seems like I've thrown money away summer after summer because we come out of the swimming lessons not much better off than before I'm contemplating spending the money on some private lessons - wonder if that would do the trick? I'm afraid it might take me putting my foot down and saying we will not go to the pool unless they learn.

 

[rach3975]

With four kids, there's just no way I would ever take them on my own. I know this doesn't help you at all, Rachel. But, I just wanted to say that I sympathize, and I'll be watching to see how others manage to pull off swimming all the time.

I do think it is so important for kids to learn how to swim, and I have my kids signed up for lessons in a few weeks.

Yeah-I might be able to pull it off with 3, but I wouldn't be trying with 4 either! Luckily my oldest is a pretty cautious kid who can be trusted to follow whatever pool rules I set for him, otherwise there's no way I'd try it with 3. It does help to know that I'm not the only one struggling with this! I agree with you about swimming lessons. The boys are on a wait list, but I don't think they're going to get in. Unfortunately the few weekend swim classes fill very quickly, and we can't do weekdays because DS2 needs a parent available to go into the water with him (due to a motor planning disorder).

It was strictly a weekend thing with dad until they became stronger swimmers.

Every year I've had great plans of going every weekend with DH so we can help the kids get used to the big pool, but it never seems to work out. Between the pools closing for swim meets and us being busy with other things, we usually only make it to the pool with him once or twice a year. Maybe this will be the year...

Are they wearing some kind of safely floatation thing? My twins wore life jackets when they were toddlers and it really gave me some peace of mind. The floaties on the arms are not good enough.

We have 1 jacket like that for my youngest, and if we do the big pool maybe I'll buy one for my middle DS, too. Right now he has arm floaties, but last year he tended to stay in water that was shallow enough that he didn't even wear them. He didn't like the jacket when he was young enough for it because it forced him to be horizontal in the water, but maybe now that he's taller and heavier it would work better for him.

Because my oldest is cautious (actually both boys are), I was ok with the two of them in the shallow end of the big pool with me sitting on the side of the baby pool. I could see all 3 and fortunately, the distance between the two pools isn't much. If the logistics were different, not sure what I would do! I guess the youngest would be forced to spend all her time in the big pool. I have tried all kinds of floatation things with my kids - kick boards (worthless unless you have one on one time to teach them), water wings/arm bands, jackets with floatation built in, etc. and what has worked the best for them is a cheap float/ring (literally cost $1) around their middle.

Our pool definitely wasn't designed by a parent trying to juggle multiple kids at the pool, so they put the kiddie pool near the deep end of the big pool. I can't watch DS1 well enough from there, so it's going to have to be everyone in the same pool. We'll add the inner tube floaties to our list of things to try this summer. Thanks! We tried swimming lessons with DS1 a few years ago, but between his fear of the water back then and the 9 non-swimming months each year he didn't learn or retain much. I may try private lessons if my kids don't get into the swim class, but I wonder if they'd learn enough in just a few lessons to make it worthwhile.

Our community pool is basically a walk in that starts at like 2" deep and gets deeper from there. I can basically stand between the kids, one in deeper water, one in more shallow water. Its easier there than at some places we've taken them. I HIGHLY recommend life jackets or swimsuits with flotation devices built in (some are rated as highly as life jackets, be sure to check ratings, others are pretty useless). Those swimsuits are what got my kids over their fear of water.

Your pool sounds like the one we went to last year. It was the perfect solution for us, but I think this year we need to go in the am and they're only open for camps and classes until late afternoon. I'll check the ratings when we buy new floaties.

 

[nikkiARNGwife]

This year is the first time I've felt comfortable taking both of mine by myself..although I only have 2 so it's a little easier. But they both wear floatation devices kind of like Mary posted except theirs go across their chest and arms too. We're lucky though in that we are members of a private country club so we can go any time and so far I've taken them in the early mornings before all the crowds and big rowdy kids get there.

Avery is 7 but he's always been scared of a big pool..this year though he's gotten very brave and since he doesn't know how to swim yet I have to really keep an eye on him. Little Miss Firecracker thinks she's a fish and with her little floatie thing swims all over the place.

and they wear themselves out which is a good good thing lol

But I definitely know how you feel..it can be never wracking with littles.

 

[Sharon Kay]

Mine were that way ... we joined the YMCA ... they had indoor and outdoor pools (which I am NOT a hot weather person) ... so we stayed indoors ... it was quieter there ... they have a pool that starts shallow and then walks to deeper but there are floating things that warn of it ... so that was much easier to deal with.

 

[kelley]

I sympathize too. I have 5 children, 2 of which can swim (10 and 9), but are not strong swimmers, and my 7 year old, who is just in the learning stages. My 5 and 4 year olds cannot swim yet at all. I took them to the pool all last summer, but I did not enjoy myself - I say that because I spent the entire time looking at them and counting heads obsessively. I definitely don't mess around with water. It is very scary. But, at the same time, DH never wants to swim and also is at work all day, and I did want my kids to have that experience. So, we just have some rules. We stay in the low end of the pool where all of them can touch. I am right with the 2 youngest and a few steps away from the 7 yo all the time. The other 2 can play in the area where I am (very close in case they need help). The 2 oldest like the diving boards, but they aren't allowed to go over there by themselves. I take all the kids over and we all sit on the side and watch while they jump off for a little while. The whole experience is very stressful for me and I cannot wait till they can all swim well so I can breathe a bit. They are in swimming lessons this summer finally (our old town didn't offer them). I too don't have anyone that can go with us during the day at all, so it is me or nothing. My kids aren't particularly thrilled that they must stay within 5 feet of me the whole time, lol, but they would much prefer that to not going at all.

 

[kelley]

Another thing - our pool doesn't even allow flotation devices. I can understand no big inner tubes and things, but they won't even let you have the swimsuits with foam or anything.

 

[breakingbrie]

Aw, that's rough! I freak about water - even though I love to swim in pools now, I'm still about halfway terrified of water, and my kids around a pool deeper than 2 feet - forget about it! Seriously I'd hyperventilate. They love to 'swim', though, so we're going to have to do lessons soon. It will make me feel better.

 

[YepBrook]

For the past year we've been swimming exclusively in the big pool. My littlest never got to enjoy the kiddie pool, unless DH or my mom is with us and we can separate the kids. She has a flotation device like the one below (in pink) I bought two of them from Target. I'm totally going to try to sell you all this vest, it is great. A swimming instructor once told me never to put a vest or those floaty wings on the kids that elevated them above the water too much. The reason is that it hinders their ability to learn how to swim on their own. The floats on their arms lift them too high and they can't learn to paddle with their arms underwater.

I got this vest because I saw a mom with one on her son at our community pool. It's not overly bulky and it keeps the kids afloat, but their shoulders are mostly submerged (as they get heavier, they sink lower in the water). My 3 year old will swim around the whole pool in it.

DS is 5, almost 6, and he has had lessons. We swim almost all year here (we do take 2 months off in the cooler months) and he is fairly confident in the pool. He doesn't swim with a vest. I can keep an eye on my little one in her vest while DS jumps and swims in the shallow end with me. I will say that having them all in one place at the pool is important.

I did have a near-drowning experience at a pool party with DS a month ago. He was in the middle of the pool with his BFF and they were on kickboards. His friend lost grip of his kick board and grabbed onto DS. He lost grip of his and they panicked. His BFF's dad was in the pool with them and didn't notice the incident until my son shouted out as he clamored up from atop his friend, who was submerged. It was TERRIFYING. And very sobering. Once they become "confident" swimmers, they become dangerous. Once they are confident, they almost need more supervision.

 

[YepBrook]

Oh, forgot to add... the reason why teaching your little ones (the ones who cling to you in the pool and want to be held) to swim independently with a swim vest is because you have older ones swimming who might potentially need to be rescued. How will you come to their rescue if you have a little one clinging to you who can't be let go? Just something to consider!

 

[kelley]

Very good point Brook! I wish we were allowed those vests - that is what my kids have for swimming at the beach when we go camping.

 

[YepBrook]

Another thing - our pool doesn't even allow flotation devices. I can understand no big inner tubes and things, but they won't even let you have the swimsuits with foam or anything.

Oh, wow! I just read this. I can't believe they don't allow them? Is there a lifeguard posted at the pool? If not, how is this rule enforced. Just curious as to what could be the purpose of a rule like that.

 

[eranslow]

Another thing - our pool doesn't even allow flotation devices. I can understand no big inner tubes and things, but they won't even let you have the swimsuits with foam or anything.

Our pool doesn't allow flotation devices either. They have lifeguards but that isnt enough. They actually had a little boy drown last year so the policies might have changed? Im not planning on getting a pool pass there this year - too difficult with a 4 yr old and baby.

Last year we did discover this flotation device:

http://sites.target.com/site/en/spot/mobile_product_detail.jsp?tcin=13924799&keywords=Swim flotation

(hopefully that link worked - I'm on my phone)

 

[Amber1279]

I don't know how old your kids are, mine have been in pools all their life it seems. They are in the water within months usually based on their birthday. But we live in Arizona LOL and swim 5-6 months out of the year and not usually at public pools.

We have a HOA pool next door and a pool at Grandmas. We taught them to swim unassisted without flotation devices at a very young age. I have pictures of Ellie at 3 jumping in from the side of the pool and swimming to me. (had to go find the page)

This past week my brother kids were here and we were able to have the 5 older grandkids swimming in the pool (ages 5-10) with only an adult on the deck. I am in the water if Braxton is since he is only 11 months.

My kids used to get frustrated at public pools because the lifeguards wouldn't let them do things like the slide & diving board because of their size even though they are strong swimmers. Poor Ellie even had a hard time last year because she was 1" bellow the mark for the water slides at the resort we went too. She was 7 years old and we know younger but taller kids were going down them.

 

[Amber1279]

Oh, wow! I just read this. I can't believe they don't allow them? Is there a lifeguard posted at the pool? If not, how is this rule enforced. Just curious as to what could be the purpose of a rule like that.

Most public pools don't because flotation devices that are not fitted properly can be more dangerous for swimmers AND most are actually toys if you read the warning labels. Additional items in the pools make it harder for lifeguards to see what is going on.

 

[YepBrook]

Most public pools don't because flotation devices that are not fitted properly can be more dangerous for swimmers AND most are actually toys if you read the warning labels. Additional items in the pools make it harder for lifeguards to see what is going on.

I can totally see the motivation to eliminate improper use and "toys" floating around in the pool. Just makes it hard for those who are using them properly and kind of need them to make it safer for their kids who can't swim unassisted.

 

[Sherri Tierney]

I grew up in Arizona and, like Amber mentioned, the weather is great for swimming at least half the year. I didn't learn to swim as a kid though. I really wish I had now because its hard for me to teach my kids since I didn't get that experience as a kid.

Anyway... a local (or not so local as it is 45 minutes away but still the next town over) aquatic centers will not allow flotation devices unless they are properly fitted and meet the US coast guard standards. They check each one and will put a tag on it if it meets requirements. If it does not they will not allow it in the pool. I think that is a completely fair and logical way to be sure that kids are SAFE and not don't just have a false sense of safety because of some toy flotation device. My kids LOVE swim rings and kick boards and all of that but I would never use those as a means of protection in the water. It was this aquatic center that first made me aware of ratings on life jackets and flotation suits, etc. We realized half the 'life jackets' we found were actually NOT life saving flotation devices but rather swimming aids (toys essentially). We've been pretty careful since then about what we use.

My kids are 6 and almost 10. They honestly have not had a lot of swimming experience. My daughter did teach herself to swim last summer and she's pretty good. Her daddy helped her quite a bit but in the end, it was her who learned to jump in the deep end and swim across the pool under water. Dad was still working with her on the basics and she just took off like a little fish. My son just about has it. We haven't been yet this summer (seriously hasn't been warm enough yet) but at the end of last summer he was swimming about half the length of the pool. He doesn't go under water yet without goggles but he's working on it.

When they were smaller I always made sure to go with a second adult or we didn't go to places that had a separate kiddie pool unless I knew both kids would be happy in the same area (like when DD was 4 and DS was 6 months). I'm such a bad mom though, I don't enjoy sitting on the side of the pool watching my kids in the water. I want to be in the water with them and I'm not happy just sitting in the shallow end either. So, most of the time when they were little I'd try to just go with another adult (typically DH, sometimes my brother) and we'd each take a kid so that I could at least wade out to the 4 foot water and not sit at the edge getting baked by the sun. I'm soooo not one of those moms sitting there splashing water on their legs and looking thrilled to be working on their tan. LOL

 

[origami]

My kids took the Red Cross swimming courses at the local university pool. Then they got involved in a swim team for a couple years. They are reasonably strong swimmers, but we still watch them pretty closely at the pool. Swimming is such an important skill, you might consider joining the pool that has swim lessons and then making that your time at the pool during the summer. We didn't really go swimming a lot until our kids were pretty skilled at it. Now, we'd go just about every day if we could, but we sure didn't when they were smaller.

 

[kresta]

(Okay, you can't see it that well in the picture, but click on it, and you can get a picture from the website.)

These are amazing. They go around the kid's chest and buckle in the back (and you can adjust for tightness), plus has bands for the arms attached. My 3-yr. old can be in the pool without me (although I of course still watch her at all times).

 

[mummytothree]

We have a pool at our house but before we we did I avoided pools and went for lakez. We have several nice State parks with swimming and it was easy enough to watch the kids. The younger ones could stay in the shallow and the older ones could go out a bit more. Maybe you could look into that or even maybe a country club tbat has a lake.

 

[SweetMelissa]

We have the same problem that you do. Our kids are 4, 3 and 19 months. None can swim by themselves but our eldest is starting to feel too old for the kiddie pool. We looked at how much it would cost for us to join a pool group (Yeah there aren't very many places where you can swim for free here) and it would cost us between $400 to $600 depending on the place. They actually charge for the baby to have access to the pool. We went to Wal-Mart and looked at the water slides they have and then went to Target. Target was having a pre-summer season sale and we bought a $500 water slide for $360. It has a big slide that both DH & DS can do and a smaller slide that the girls can do (plus we can turn off of the water on the small slide so its more enjoyable for them) and there is enough room at the bottom for us all to stretch out and sit in the water.

I know this may not work where you live but so far its been a life saver for us. We've used it six times already and it has not affected our water or electric bill much (power bill was about $10 more this month & water bill was $7 more). But this allows us to swim when we want, sets up in 3 minutes and allows everyone to play. Plus as the girls get older then can use the big slide.

 

[rach3975]

Thanks for the suggestions! I went scouting some of the other local pools this morning, and there are a few that might work slightly better for us than the closest one. I can't believe there are some pools that don't allow any flotation devices. Sure, some are better than others and they might want to only allow certain ones (or even sell the approved ones and only allow those), but I find it hard to believe that they really think that non-swimmers are safer in the water without anything. If our pools didn't allow them, we wouldn't be going and then they'd never get comfortable enough in the water to learn to swim.

I don't think there are any lakes nearby that allow swimming. Boating yes, but not swimming. Luckily our pools aren't that expensive, only about $150 for a family membership. My kids would love the water slide, but I don't think it would work for us. We have a pretty strict homeowner's association that wouldn't let us keep it up, and I don't think I'd be willing to put it up and take it down several times a week. Plus I want my kids to become more confident in the water--they're already 8, 6, and 3, and it's only within the last year that the oldest has become comfortable enough in a pool that I think he's ready to learn to swim. We tried lessons when he was 6, but it didn't go well because he was too scared to try anything the instructor wanted him to.

Swimming is such an important skill, you might consider joining the pool that has swim lessons and then making that your time at the pool during the summer.

Those are the lessons we're on the waiting list for, and if we don't get in we'll probably do a few private lessons. But the classes are only once a week for an hour, so even if the boys get in they wouldn't get much time in the water through those and will still need pool access at other times to practice what they're learning. Plus DD wouldn't be able to swim then because there's no class for her age at the same time.

I did have a near-drowning experience at a pool party with DS a month ago. He was in the middle of the pool with his BFF and they were on kickboards. His friend lost grip of his kick board and grabbed onto DS. He lost grip of his and they panicked. His BFF's dad was in the pool with them and didn't notice the incident until my son shouted out as he clamored up from atop his friend, who was submerged. It was TERRIFYING. And very sobering. Once they become "confident" swimmers, they become dangerous. Once they are confident, they almost need more supervision.

How scary! Thank goodness everyone was okay. Even with all the lifeguards at the pools near us I don't let my oldest go too far, but it's still a good reminder when people share stories like this.