Ok my darlings.. lay on all your "meeting the family" tips..

lauren grier

lauren grier

you're like stars
So, ive met the boyfriends dad (parental units are divorced) and one of his sisters (twins)... but the big scary one.. the mother-- i'm meeting over thanksgiving (As well as the rest of the extended family, grandparents, husband-- er edit: step father-- etc).

So. give me some good tips on making this go really well :p past relationships havent prepared me for this at all- so i'm new to the loving family game. Tgiving will be at the grandparents house not the mothers so that will help a little i think.

Also, my personal family has only done tgiving for a couple years-- and my family is small (its only ever been my parents, my brother, myself and my grandfather) so.. do i bring something? Do i bake something? (asking the bf anything gets me no where.. this is what i have you guys for :p )

I'm not sure if doing this whole meeting his mum thing over thanksgiving makes it easier (lots of people) or more horrifying (LOTS OF PEOPLE!).
 
Jordan met my entire family in one shot, at Easter. And it was also the big weekend that my mother had her ceremony to convert to being a Catholic. He STILL jokes about it, lol.

Personally, I'd rather meet everyone all at once. You can chit chat with a bunch of different people and not get stuck staring at mom with nothing to say at the dinner table. KWIM? I met Jordan's family after a day of skiing/snowboarding and looked a WRECK. (Seriously, what was wrong with us? LOL!)

As far as tips, I don't know. Just, be yourself. (I know, worst advice ever right? LOL!) I know my big thing around my inlaws is watching my truck driver mouth, lol. And really, that's just good sense around the majority of people, not just my inlaws, lol.

As far as bringing any food goes, unless you're comfortable calling his mom and asking her yourself (since he's useless), I would stick to a small dessert. Maybe a pie, or cookies, or something. Or if they drink, a bottle of wine is always nice.
 
Good thing when you meet a lot of them at once: If you're a bit akward and the conversation isn't really flowing, you can still play the shy card, say little and there are enough people to prevent an embarrassing silence.

But I LOVE big family get togethers in general. I second the cookies, small, nice, shows you thought about them. Otherwise just have fun. And enjoy the possibility to hear all the funny stories about your BF, he won't tell you. ;)

I think I learned about mine being dared by his female cousin into eating a living worm.
 
LenaGardner said:
You'll be fine! I would bring something, a dessert :)
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i'm soft spoken and socially awkward... lol.. i may not be fine ^_^


col you're probably right-- about everyone all at once. I know the first time i met ians dad, i ended up getting left alone at the table with him and was like uuuuuaaaaaaaahmmm ... weirdness. Def not comfortable calling the mom to ask what to bring :p hahaha


dessert. ooh maybe oatmeal raisin cookies. i make yummy oatmeal cookies-- or brownies. i don't think i want to do pie, there's undoubtedly already going to BE pie right? lol Competition over who made the better apple pie, me or the mom. YES! excellent times. haha
 
Smile, listen - talk. You'll be fine. :) My hubs has a HUGE family (he's #10 or 13) so it is way easier meeting everyone all at once. You can move around the room.

I'd bring dessert. I have a recipe for Pumpkin Crunch that gets rave reviews and is super easy! :)
 
sczos911 said:
Smile, listen - talk. You'll be fine. :) My hubs has a HUGE family (he's #10 or 13) so it is way easier meeting everyone all at once. You can move around the room.

I'd bring dessert. I have a recipe for Pumpkin Crunch that gets rave reviews and is super easy! :)
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share recipe for pumpkin crunch :p haha
 
here -
PUMPKIN CRUNCH!!!!

1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 ts salt
1 c butter
1 box yellow cake mix
1 15-oz can pumpkin
1 12-oz can evaporated milk
3 eggs
1.5 c sugar
1/2 c pecan halves

preheat oven to 350. grease bottom of 9 x 13 baking dish combine pumpkin, milk, eggs, sugar, cinnamon, and salt in large bowl. pour into baking dish. sprinkle cake mix over pumpkin mixture top with pecans (optional) melt butter. drizzle melted butter over pecans, cake mix. bake at 350 for 50-55 mins (until golden brown). cool and serve with cool whip (or whipped cream).

Dump cake is really easy, too. Take crushed pineapple (1 can), 1 can of cherry filling - dump into large pan. Take one stick of butter melted, yellow cake mix and mix together. Drop onto pie filling/pineapple mix. Bake @ 350 for 30 minutes or more (till top looks done - brown and hot and bubbly). Serve warm with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.
 
You will do great!! I'd bring a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine... No tips... you will do great... BF thinks you are great and his family will too... and mama will be on her best behavior.

A kind of funny story about the time I first met my in-laws to be... my hubby's step mom is from Russia (second wife) and as custom you drink in threes... so she was pushing the vodka hard... and I didn't want to be rude and ended up having to take 9 shots of the cheapest jet fuel that passes as vodka you could imagine... I do not remember much of that day, to be honest... I don't drink except a brandy sweet or a glass of wine a few times a year. ;) Thank goodness we are now married and I can say "No" to the passing of the vodka. :D
 
i'm allergic to pecans (and cherries actually :p ). .but that pumpkin thing def sounds like something the bf and ce would love.. i don't have to eat it :p
 
MamaBee said:
A kind of funny story about the time I first met my in-laws to be... my hubby's step mom is from Russia (second wife) and as custom you drink in threes... so she was pushing the vodka hard... and I didn't want to be rude and ended up having to take 9 shots of the cheapest jet fuel that passes as vodka you could imagine... I do not remember much of that day, to be honest... I don't drink except a brandy sweet or a glass of wine a few times a year. ;) Thank goodness we are now married and I can say "No" to the passing of the vodka. :D
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hahah oh my. i have cousins from from poland--still speak polish-- are way polish :p and they also are big drinkers like your russian folk. Oye. Indeed! I understand completely.. lol
 
MamaBee said:
You will do great!! I'd bring a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine... No tips... you will do great... BF thinks you are great and his family will too... and mama will be on her best behavior.

A kind of funny story about the time I first met my in-laws to be... my hubby's step mom is from Russia (second wife) and as custom you drink in threes... so she was pushing the vodka hard... and I didn't want to be rude and ended up having to take 9 shots of the cheapest jet fuel that passes as vodka you could imagine... I do not remember much of that day, to be honest... I don't drink except a brandy sweet or a glass of wine a few times a year. ;) Thank goodness we are now married and I can say "No" to the passing of the vodka. :D
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This is such a completely classic story. Totally great.

I made the pumpkin crunch a couple of weeks ago and totally loved it. You can sub toffee candy for the pecans. :thumbup:
 
lauren grier said:
i'm allergic to pecans (and cherries actually :p ). .but that pumpkin thing def sounds like something the bf and ce would love.. i don't have to eat it :p
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Looks like pecans are optional - so you could definitely make it without :)

No advice from me - just be yourself! You rock so you'll be fine :) Good luck!!! And dont stress!
 
I can hear you. I'm dead shy about new people (I know it doesn't show here, but online I'm oh-so-social) and boyfriend's mother = OMG.

I'd bring a bottle of wine and maybe a dessert, but I wouldn't try a new recipe, rather something you're pretty sure you can do well. If you don't feel confident about baking, buy something yummy. Just a thought.

Oh, and I'd buy Teh Mother flowers, but I dunno if that's not weird in your part of the world.
 
oh I'm socially awkward so meeting josh's family was SO hard for me. They are very wealthy and very snotty. Josh's immediate family is wealthy, but they are very different than the others.. makes actually all of us outcasts to them. It was very very awkward! I was so under-dressed and I didn't bring anything because I was more afraid to bring something! to be honest in the end we left and I've never seen any of them again! :p so all that stress so didn't matter. Josh's other side was 100% complete opposites and closer to my family so I was able to interact well and really get to know them. Just speak your mind and act yourself and I'm sure they will love you. I'm praying you get "josh's sweet family" vs. "josh's snotty family" type people!!

I would agree with the making something... only if you cook better than I do! I made something for that family... they would NEVER let me live it down if it was nasty. I learned a tip from my sil she always makes this whipped cream chocolate mousse type thing... nothing could go wrong with it and it takes no time to put together yet looks cool!!

good luck la
 
good luck! :)

I met a lot of extended family over Easter (I think I had already met his dad and step mom)... but aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. They were extremely kind and welcoming, but it was hard for me to have that attention. I just stayed by Shane as much as I could. I also got teased about joining the family (someone mentioned me fitting right in because of my degree, etc)... and we hadn't even been dating long! I think it was a HUGE deal for Shane to take someone to meet his family. Oh, and I skipped the first chance because I was so scared.

So that doesn't help. ha. Basically, it all turned out great. So, regardless of what you think or how you feel when it comes, it'll be fine. :)
 
I have the worst advice ever (yes, even worst than Col's "just be yourself"). Try not to be too nervous! Try to go with the flow. I agree that flowers for the hostess would be a nice touch, if it's not too weird for you. And your oatmeal cookies sound wonderful! Cookies are a good choice because, like you said, there's gonna be pies and such there.
 
people love to talk about themselves so think of a few questions you can ask each person that is going to be there before you get there. that way when you are alone with them you can ask. you can ask the mother what Ian was like as a child. you can ask about thanksgiving traditions. you can ask men what sports teams they follow. you can ask grandparents where they grew up. what was it like there? etc. i'm telling you people love to talk about themselves and if you show interest in them by asking questions they will love it!

and i agree bring flowers, wine (if they are drinkers), and/or your cookies. it will be fine. :)
 
*Celeste* said:
people love to talk about themselves so think of a few questions you can ask each person that is going to be there before you get there. that way when you are alone with them you can ask. you can ask the mother what Ian was like as a child. you can ask about thanksgiving traditions. you can ask men what sports teams they follow. you can ask grandparents where they grew up. what was it like there? etc. i'm telling you people love to talk about themselves and if you show interest in them by asking questions they will love it!

and i agree bring flowers, wine (if they are drinkers), and/or your cookies. it will be fine. :)
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Celeste is a genius. That is all.
 
thank you guys! hopefully it goes well.... lol. Ian is a lot closer with his family than i am with mine-- they spend a lot of time together etc, so i want it to be nice and happy :p
 
I'm just gonna say good luck! I am also super shy in real life and meeting the family like that would have me a nervous wreck, so I am just going to hope that they are wonderful and you have a great time.
 
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