Anyone watch Good Morning America this morning?

J

jessica31876

New member
I was watching this morning and saw a segment about a law in Nebraska that makes it legal to abandon your child up to the age of 18 at a designated "safe haven". Could not believe it when they had a mother who abandoned her son who was like 12/13 I think. She said he was on his way to jail or worse and so she felt this was her best choice!! I have been in the foster care system. Actually lived in a group home for sometime and they are horrible. Couple that with what he must be feeling (abandonment, loneliness, helplessness etc) and I honestly cannot even fathom how this is ok.

I know the laws were enacted because of parents abandoning their newborns and in doing so they were not leaving them someplace safe but all I can think about is how that baby is going to feel when he/she is old enough and finds they were adopted and have no way of finding their natural parents or even knowing their medical history because everything is anonymous. In most states I dont even think they take any information at all
 
I have been following the stories on this Safe Haven law since the father of 9 dropped off all his kids. It totally amazes me but apparantly the law got out of hand and they will have to 'change' it to reflect that it's really only for newborns up to 3 days old. I think 22 kids have been dropped off at Nebraska hospitals in the last month alone, including one kid whose mom drove from GA to do it! I know I have never been in a sitation like any of these people and I hope I never do but I still don't think I clould do it.
 
Oh my gosh!
It's bad enough to hear about babies being abandoned by their parents but older kids!? That is so tragic! Makes me wanna cry. Poor babies.
 
I know I could never do it either. In a way my mom kinda did it to me. I was only kept around for the social security check my mother received and she told me so several times as a teenager (I was between 13 and 15) I know how those kids feel in a way and it makes me sick.

pbumbaca said:
I have been following the stories on this Safe Haven law since the father of 9 dropped off all his kids. It totally amazes me but apparantly the law got out of hand and they will have to 'change' it to reflect that it's really only for newborns up to 3 days old. I think 22 kids have been dropped off at Nebraska hospitals in the last month alone, including one kid whose mom drove from GA to do it! I know I have never been in a sitation like any of these people and I hope I never do but I still don't think I clould do it.
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I'm so torn over this one. It's awful for the children, and I can't imagine abandoning my child; however, I'd rather a parent leave their child there safely than to subject them to abuse &/or murder (as sadly happens too often in this country). When they re-write their law, I wish that they would extend the age to project all little ones, not just babies up to 3 days old.

Just a sad situation all around.
 
Any parent who would drop his or her child off when s/he is a teenager at some random hospital (drive from another state to do it?!) is definitely doing the right thing by that child. That child deserves a REAL parent.

:thumbdown:
 
the other thing that bothers me is what is going to stop some mother/father who wants to keep the other parent from being able to have custody of the child to just drop the child off? I mean if it truly is anonymous who knows if that would be a possibility. Then there is no medical history taken and I think at the very least the child deserves to have a medical history at least what is known up to the point of their birth.
 
LeeAndra said:
Any parent who would drop his or her child off when s/he is a teenager at some random hospital (drive from another state to do it?!) is definitely doing the right thing by that child. That child deserves a REAL parent.

:thumbdown:
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While it is so sad, I have to agree with LA here!! How terrible for those kids though!
 
the thing is those kids most likely will never have the chance to have a real parent. There really arent many people willing to take in an older child much less one who is "troubled"
BeccaBoo said:
While it is so sad, I have to agree with LA here!! How terrible for those kids though!
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jessica31876 said:
the thing is those kids most likely will never have the chance to have a real parent. There really arent many people willing to take in an older child much less one who is "troubled"
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That is very true that many don't take on older children. The thing is how troubled is the child or is that just their excuse for not wanting to deal with their child? A lot of times, kids who are "troubled" are that way due to their environment. Sometimes they act out due to anger at their situation or act out trying to get some sort of attention from their parents.
 
thats true...honestly this boy from the description the mom gave did not sound "troubled" so much as a typical teenager trying test boundaries and maybe not having enough structure/rules.

BeccaBoo said:
That is very true that many don't take on older children. The thing is how troubled is the child or is that just their excuse for not wanting to deal with their child? A lot of times, kids who are "troubled" are that way due to their environment. Sometimes they act out due to anger at their situation or act out trying to get some sort of attention from their parents.
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LeeAndra said:
Any parent who would drop his or her child off when s/he is a teenager at some random hospital (drive from another state to do it?!) is definitely doing the right thing by that child. That child deserves a REAL parent.

:thumbdown:
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I agree with LA, my DH is a cop, and has seen tons of kids around this town that would be better off in a group home somewhere than with the parents they are with.

It's a shame, I just wish there was a better solution.
 
I agree there are kids who are better off not with the parents defenitely but for the parents to just take them and drop them off doesnt seem fair either. In the instance on GMA especially where the mom drve from Georgia to Nebraska seems really wrong because she was not even a resident of that state. Doesnt seem like that should be allowed.
 
Oh, I agree with you that it's completely wrong and unfair and blatant abuse of the intention or spirit of the law.

[I work with the Indiana legislation on a daily basis, and it is the NE drafting attorney's fault for not closing that loophole up, btw. Shame on them. They know better than to not be as specific and precise as possible in order to avoid mistakes like this.]

On the other hand, it is completely wrong and unfair and blatant abuse of a child to drop him/her off at 13 years old after spending the last decade NOT parenting and reaping the consequences of (in)action because now it's 'too tough,' 'too hard,' and the kid's 'too bad.'

I always come back to: why do we need to pass a test in order to be properly licensed to DRIVE, but ANYONE can have a child?!
 
That makes me sad, but I guess I'd rather they dropped them off and maybe give them a chance at a better life, then keep them and abuse them or worse..so sad...
 
LeeAndra said:
Oh, I agree with you that it's completely wrong and unfair and blatant abuse of the intention or spirit of the law.

[I work with the Indiana legislation on a daily basis, and it is the NE drafting attorney's fault for not closing that loophole up, btw. Shame on them. They know better than to not be as specific and precise as possible in order to avoid mistakes like this.]

On the other hand, it is completely wrong and unfair and blatant abuse of a child to drop him/her off at 13 years old after spending the last decade NOT parenting and reaping the consequences of (in)action because now it's 'too tough,' 'too hard,' and the kid's 'too bad.'

I always come back to: why do we need to pass a test in order to be properly licensed to DRIVE, but ANYONE can have a child?!
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Again, I completely agree!! I also am not saying that it is right for a parent to do that. That wasn't the point I was making either. It is wrong and unfair.
 
jessica31876 said:
thats true...honestly this boy from the description the mom gave did not sound "troubled" so much as a typical teenager trying test boundaries and maybe not having enough structure/rules.
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Having a teenager is TOUGH! In my opinion its SO much harder than anything you go through with a typical new baby or toddler. It takes effort and work to keep up with them, especially these days with all the technology they have available. But you gave birth to this person, they are a part of you. Whether they believe it or not they need you just as much at 16 as they do at 6! I'd love to foster one day, maybe I'll have learned a few tricks once I raise my three LOL
 
this sort of stuff breaks my heart! my mom was severly abused as a child and probably would've been better off in foster care, believe it or not. that was besides the point. :) when i hear of this sort of stuff it makes me want to adopt and be a foster mom even more. my heart is there, dennis' is not so we struggle. i just wanna take them all in, get a ton of bunk beds and be one big happy family.
 
that is the way to look at it!! Wish there were more people who wanted to do this. I guess maybe being in the system makes me kinda jaded and I dont think it is necasarily any better then being in an abusive home. There are too many people who foster for the wrong reasons and obviously also to many people who are natural parents who shouldnt be. The whole situation is just so sad.
lizzyfizzy said:
this sort of stuff breaks my heart! my mom was severly abused as a child and probably would've been better off in foster care, believe it or not. that was besides the point. :) when i hear of this sort of stuff it makes me want to adopt and be a foster mom even more. my heart is there, dennis' is not so we struggle. i just wanna take them all in, get a ton of bunk beds and be one big happy family.
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this just makes me sick. i cannot imagine just dropping off my kids and never seeing them again. how could a sane person do that?? i miss my girls when they go stay at grandma's for a few days at a time! on the other hand, if someone feels they cant handle having a child, i guess its good that there are places that they can take them and they'll be safe, vs. just dropping them off on the street or hurting/killing them. it's sad that this even has to happen.
 
sometimes I just think I should not watch tv because it just always seems to be one awful thing after another. I feel sick to my stomach after hearing these things.
 
jessica31876 said:
also, to many people who are natural parents who shouldnt be
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gosh isn't this the truth. you know how they make homosexual couples adopting or artificially inseminating get all these phyciatric tests (that are not necessary almost all of the time, because most are educated people who truely want a child to love and nurture)? well, i think they should do that for EVERYONE. i would say 60-70% of procreating people should not procreating. :p it's a slightly (very much so) communist ideal, but hey...in MANY cases necessary.
 
lizzyfizzy said:
gosh isn't this the truth. you know how they make homosexual couples adopting or artificially inseminating get all these phyciatric tests (that are not necessary almost all of the time, because most are educated people who truely want a child to love and nurture)? well, i think they should do that for EVERYONE. i would say 60-70% of procreating people should not procreating. :p it's a slightly (very much so) communist ideal, but hey...in MANY cases necessary.
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You are so right Lizzy! What I think is sad is those that can get pregnant and have a ton of kids and don't even take care of them, they are off with grandma or in the system somwhere. Then you have those that would give anything to be a parent and would offer a wonderful life and can't get pregnant. Then they make adoption so difficult. Just a terrible situation all around.
 
yep...although they probably would have told me that at 15 I should not have a child and I would not want to imagine my life without my daughter.
lizzyfizzy said:
gosh isn't this the truth. you know how they make homosexual couples adopting or artificially inseminating get all these phyciatric tests (that are not necessary almost all of the time, because most are educated people who truely want a child to love and nurture)? well, i think they should do that for EVERYONE. i would say 60-70% of procreating people should not procreating. :p it's a slightly (very much so) communist ideal, but hey...in MANY cases necessary.
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People reach a breaking point for a variety of reasons and in some cases turning your kids over to the state can be a selfless act. If you have severe emotional problems or drug problems and can reach out of yourself enough to see you are harming your kids & have no support system around you, turning them over might be the best thing you can do for them. At least they stand a better chance at a decent stable life than their parent can give them. Then there are young mothers, hiding their pregnancy & giving birth in secret. They are going to abandon the baby, they have no choice in their mind, it's better to have a safe place to take them.

I think Nebraska went to far with the age limit. You can't anonymously abandon a teenager. We're seriously looking at starting the foster to adopt program in 2 years. I've been doing a lot of studying on why children end up in foster care. It's really heartbreaking.
 
It's been on the news here mainly b/c the mom lives here in Ga...She chose Nebraska b/c of the age law there.Georgia is max 3 days old.

While in that situation, I don't agree with, I do have to say the reason the law was put into effect makes total sense. Remember that story about the girl that had her baby in a bathroom then basically let it die iand trashed it? If the law had been in effect, she could have just dropped the baby off @ a hospital and that baby would have had a chance at a decent life.

I haven't read the replies yet so ignore the story if it's been mentioned already lol
 
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